call me your little brother's drawings the way your mom pins me to the fridge

i go to bars and coffee shops and breweries and libraries and thrift stores all the time by myself and i have a chill banger time i love my own company. so why is the grocery store a warzone. im fighting for my life. barely make it out alive. if someone even looks at me i want to blow them up with my mind

"there's a guy in the walls" movies exist in a universe that I fucking WISH was real. imagine how easy it would be to install stuff in walls if the space behind a wall was not 3.5 inches/8.9 cm deep and I could get my whole self in there. of course that would mean a guy could get in there too, but what are the odds.

<currently blogging from inside this idiot's walls>

PLEASE help me feed these ethernet cables downstairs or I'm gonna kill myself before you get a crack at me

thread it down here champ, we'll get this installed come hell or high water

you are the best scary murderer who could have ever crawled into my walls

leitmotifs never get old to me like holy shit dude there’s this melody that corresponds to this one guy and if you hear the melody it means the guy is there. holy shit. and sometimes it refers to ideas too not just guys. has anyone heard about this

Sometimes something fucked up happens to the guy and their melody gets fucked up too. Sometimes the thing that fucked them up also has its own melody and when the first melody gets fucked up the second melody gets mixed in

no fucking way dude. are you serious

Been worried because a bit ago I walked past a group of kids and one little fella yelled at another one “I just stabbed you with the most deadliest poison in the world”. I don’t even think he should have that. I don’t want him to have that near me

your humorous post has delighted me. i will now absorb it into my dark crystal

mmm haha

ahaha mmmm

dr pepper

mm ahaha mmm

mmmm

haha mm

mm ha mmmmm hahaha

hello! i am crumb cat!

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wow you're telling me that the idea of a mech pilot having a "handler" is not actually a mainstay of the genre? and that most mech pilots are not brainwashed or forcefemmed or getting off on the force feedback from their weaponry? you're telling me that nobody in Macross or TTGL is engaging in a 24/7 d/s t4t lesbian relationship which is tacitly encouraged by the military forces they work for? I had no fucking idea. That's crazy. You're actually the first person to ever point this out. Should we throw a party? Should we invite Char? I'm going to invite Char so he can fucking kill us both.

All I'm saying is you never see people going "um, no actual RPGs have traps that turn your party members into shortstack goblin girls" as if it's some kind of revelation.

the 2020s really will have the gayest looking alt girl you've ever seen dating a guy who looks like the primordial 'mid 20s white brunette man' from plato's realm of forms. we need to pass some kind of law

For heaven’s sake let bi people exist

No. I am the only person that gets to be bisexual.

first they made it mandatory to log in everywhere. create an account to download your free template Log in to access resource give us your email nowwwww. Now the humble password is being killed too. open your magic email link! type your 6 digit code that we texted you because we required your email and your phone number! we’re gonna call you and whisper a code sweetly in your ear so you can log in to your account. yes it has a password but you cant use that anymore. okay? poob is gonna call you. now poob is just gonna call you.

nabokov killing a grey alien with a shovel: I awoke unremarkably to find my mother's favorite birdbath in the process of molestation by the grey nubs of some fat fingered and bug eyed hominid of vulcanized complexion. Being at the end of my wits and the begining of an experimental streak, I angrily shod and the fetched the heavy steel shovel from the garage. There was an exchange of swears and brandished gardening tools and extraterrestrial gibbering, at which point I -with all the vigor I could muster- beat the horny little hominid into a grey and yogurtish pulp

Godwin The Cursed

Host of the eldritch god

Tip jar

watching Seven Samurai

i wonder how many they'll need

i hesitate even to speculate

I outlived the person who sent this ask and I continue to be undefeated in tumblr combat