Random Stuff that I found in my garbage

Once again the nypost is the only paper that gives a shit about Jews being attacked.

“The suspect in the arson attack on Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro’s residence said he targeted the Jewish politician over “what he wants to do to the Palestinian people,” according to documents.

The alleged firebug Cody Balmer called 911 following the Sunday attack, identified himself by name, and delivered the chilling message addressed to the governor over the phone, according to a search warrant obtained by PennLive.”

Hate crime for Palestine. Hamas would be proud.

Oh and he was a child abuser and wife beater.

“Balmer was out on bail for a simple assault charge at the time of the attack — accused of stomping on his 10-year-old son’s broken leg and battering his estranged wife, according to a police report.

Family members attempted to have him committed to a mental institution in the days prior to the arson attack.”

Me: Okay guys remember that it’s important in improv to establish your characters at the beginning of the scene.

Students: ok

Student 1: Hello. I am the president of the United States.

Student 2: Hello madame president. I’m William Shakespeare and I’m here to assassinate you.

This is the best opening to a scene I've ever heard of

Here’s how the scene actually went as nearly as I can remember.

Student 1: I’m the president of the United States. How can I help you?

Student 2: I’d like to make a complaint about the Vice President.

Student 1: Okay let me just get out my chalkboard where I tally complaints about the Vice President. Let’s see, that makes five… hundred! What’s your complaint?

Student 2: Well you see, I’m here to assassinate you, but I don’t think that guy should take over when you’re dead.

Student 1: Okay let me make some calls. Beep boop beep boop beep beep beep. Hello? I’m here with— What’s your name?

Student 2: I’m William Shakespeare.

Student 1: I’m here with William Shakespeare and he convinced me we need to replace the Vice President. When? Let me ask. — When were you planning to assassinate me?

Student 2: I mean I was thinking like, as soon as I was done talking to you.

Student 1: Okay sounds good. Yes we need to replace him right now, one moment. Beep beep boop beep. Hello? You’re fired. Bye. Ring, ring. Oh, it’s my assistant again. Hello? What’s that? Oh, they want to know if you’re the same William Shakespeare who wrote Romeo and Juliet.

Student 2: Yes, that’s me.

Student 1: What’s that? He’s been dead for four hundred years? Okay thank you goodbye. Sorry they said you’ve been dead for four hundred years so you can’t assassinate me.

This was one of the first comic ideas I've had for this fandom. It's been haunting my mind since like September. Anyway.

Doof takes it so normal that theres a regular platypus just walking on the balcony of his 39 floor whenever Perry takes off his hat?

sigh, today i'm thinking about ford settling back into the lab after he first comes home, and seeing the proof of how hard stan worked to bring him home

stan was always the "dumb one" between them, always riding on ford's coat tails and slacking off. but he was able to do, on his own, without help from anyone, what it took ford 12 phds, fiddleford's help, and bill's guidance to do. just based off of ONE of ford's cryptic journals and whatever scattered notes and blueprints he was able to find, all while having never graduated high school.

ford having to confront how hard stan worked, how far he pushed himself, how smart he actually is

EDIT: also, stan only had journal 1, that's NOT the one he was working with bill in! that's his first few years in gravity falls, when ford was just as ignorant as stan was! there probably isn't a lot for stan to work with in there.

Oh

american maid cafe review

apparently hooters was founded in the 1980s and the first permanent maid cafe was opened in 2001

thus maid cafe is the Japanese take on hooters

Pendantswap Critters (2/8)

Time for another pair of critters, this time it’s Catnap and Poe. These two make the swapping theme more apparent

Have you been feeling unlucky? Maybe you’ve been cursed, or perhaps it’s the work of Curse himself. This mischievous little feline is infamous for messing up someone’s day no matter how minor of an inconvenience it is. The cat thrives off the misery of others and likes playing with his prey.

Birdrest, A calm and peaceful bird with an unusually long tail. They’re oftentimes seen napping on branches or sitting near cliffs. They may not talk but their actions alone can tell a story, yet at the same time they’re quite mysterious. And above all, Birdrest can hold a grudge. So make sure to avoid angering the raven.

Curse can be quite a drama king. Whenever his plans are foiled he drops to the floor and shed tears while creating a fake sob story about his backstory that everyone has learned not to take seriously since it sounds very fake and obviously a lie.

Birdrest is usually easy to be around with. But there are times where the atmosphere around them becomes uncomfortable to stay in. This rarely happens and nobody is sure what the cause could be. But whenever it happens, their friends will be by their side.

Quite the characters these two