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this is my first time having a fandom account and being active in a fandom for a good amount of time, and one thing I wasn't ready for was people leaving. seeing blogs you like posting less and less and then falling into silence. and then seeing new faces, new blogs you don't recognize. I was like oh. people leave and people come. this must sound so silly because it's obvious, but I hadn't thought about it. in my mind we're all trapped here together forever :') no one can leave.......

a person that ships destiel destiel basically hahaha but there's some nuance to the term. from the fanlore wiki: "Fans of the ship originally referred to themselves as Destielers, and Destihellers was a negative term used to describe those same fans. It was often used as a pejorative. Ultimately Destihellers was shortened to Hellers. In fandom a distinction was often made between Destiel shippers and Hellers, with a heller viewed as a more extreme fan who engages in toxic activities, including spamming and ship war antics. It is a term that Destiel fans appear to be reclaiming, following what some viewed as the canonization of Destiel in the final season of SPN."

I've written 31,000 words this march :)))))) and I've accomplished my goal of writing every day of the month. writing genuinely makes my life so much happier and brighter and prettier. shout out to the incest supernatural brothers none of this would've been possible without you 🫵

Writing a story set in the united states in the 90s feels no different to me than writing one set in a fantasy land or a sci-fi future, as someone who's not american and was born in the late 90s. I'm constantly googling questions like "How did phone calls work in the united states in 1999?" "Were payphones still a thing in the united states in 1999?" "Was it common for people to have mobile phones in the united states in 1999?" "How did payphones work in the united states in 1999?" "How much did a payphone call cost in the united states in 1999?" "What's a collect call?"...... and many, many more…... all that just for a single phone call scene. I know a lot about american culture, but there will always be a myriad of mundane details that will be incomprehensibly foreign to me. And I want to get it right because you know who will most likely be reading this fic ?? that’s right americans who were alive in the 90s lmao. Anyway, I'm not complaining. I love research and american culture. It’s actually really fun. But if you saw my search history, you’d think I was an alien with no concept of how human society works