depressed and shit

Don’t even know how many people I still have active on here but it will probably be my final post. Im so happy to say I’m living with this day to day and letting my mental health affect me a little less everyday. Have I finally learned how to control my emotions? Probably not but that’s okay, I’m learning to live with it. I got a brand new job that I absolutely love and got exactly what I wanted, a fresh start in a brand new city/environment and it was everything I hoped it would be. I’m gonna be 24 in June and I finally for the first time in my life feel like I actually have a plan for the future and I’m so excited to see where it takes me. Don’t let your teen/young adult years ruin your potential for a happy future, it’s yours for the taking and I hope you all grasp it. It gets better, it truly does. Take care y’all.

-Kevin

So I’m going to go to counseling. God I need it and I feel as if I have Borderline Personality Disorder so I need to learn and understand it better so I can actually have a successful relationship down the line. I feel it’s affected almost every relationship I’ve ever had and the most recent ones especially

Here I am again, feeling like I’m never good enough for anyone

Once again I choose not to let myself find happiness and recover from past traumas while also gaining trust back in others. What do I do instead? Wallow in my own self doubt constantly telling myself this is the best life is going to get. God I need fucking help

Blowing off plans and staying in bed all day Ignoring all aspects of the outside world. This is depression in one of its purest forms

I’m. Fucking. Fat. I look fucking revolting in a mirror and all I see is my double chin in videos of me. I need to make a fucking change tomorrow cause this? This is disgusting

Kinda feel like crying, kinda feel like dying. Kinda feel numb to everything. I’ve gotten so used to this feeling that it just feels weird when I’m not feeling like this

Sorry guys for this long dry spell, I’m just in a weird position. Where I don’t feel content, but I don’t feel sad either. Like just something is missing in my life right now and I almost feel numb to a degree. I want to say things are going well but at the same time I have no idea. School has started back up and I got an internship of which I’ve been trying to get for almost two years now and it could very well be a career starter so I have that goin for me, but again it just feels like something is missing. I hope whatever it is calms but until then 🤷🏻‍♂️ hope all of y’all are doing okay and sorry for the dms I missed as well! I literally just opened tumblr for the first time in like a month