I kissed her and forgot death.

fuck it agathario hannibal au wont get out of my mind 🩸

more wips 🔪

fic snippet by ash (x)

Imagine Me & You (2005) dir. Ol Parker

why do you look like that while talking to your subordinate kathryn

“You’re too young to be so sick!”

“You’re too young to be using a mobility aid!”

“Why do you rest so much? You’re so young!”

[gif: Hades from Disney’s Hercules saying “I know! I know. I know. I got it. I get the concept” while his hair flares from blue to red]

some more daffodils

this is literally so fucking funny omg this shady bitch

What Good Is Heaven, Raye Hendrix

(x)

How to vent about the same problem multiple times without people wanting to beat you to death with hammers

This is the last social media platform where u can be ugly and in a foul mood

don’t think intimacy will ever feel normal for me but i’m being really chill about it

existentially exhausted today, everyone reblog with something funny that happened to you recently

a few days ago, I was in the kitchen making lunch. my 12-year-old was sitting at the table eating his lunch and watching me as I prepared mine. I was having a caprese pasta salad. it comes in a plastic container, you take off the lid, pour the dressing on top, flip the lid over, snap into place, and then shake that bad boy up. I have had this exact brand of salad numerous times and am an experienced salad shaker. this time however I had an audience, so I hammed up how aggressive I needed to shake my salad, really went wild. my chaotic goblin child looked me directly in the eye and said, "you should be more careful", which is WILD coming from him, so I responded perfectly appropriately by shaking my salad with even more frenzy, adding a little dance and chant of "shakey salad". You can surely guess the punchline here. yes, the lip popped off, yes salad went everywhere, yes, I was covered in balsamic dressing. not only did the entire kitchen need to be wiped down but I needed to change my entire outfit and wash my face. most importantly my son and I laughed so hard at my folly we were in tears. and then he got to hit me with an "I told you so." I don't know if you recall being 12 but being able to drop that line on your parent is glorious. He has been riding that high for days and will likely be re-telling the tale of his insane salad shaking mother for years.

a balsamic baptism, so to speak