Thank you so so much for the inspiration! I know this took a longer time to get out than anticipated but I hope you guys like the way I end this story! You can read part 1 here

Love You More / r.c II

Like the Kook life goes; one party after another. And every one tried to be crazier than the rest.

Topper had seemed to have this own fun hosting, and decided to take the night off and enjoy someone else's for a change. We got ready together, me in a blue sundress and him in a bright polo and tan shorts, the typical attire of he and his friends.

It had been one week since the incident in his own bedroom. And the more I sit here, the more I get nauseous at the memory. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can barely look Topper in the eye without breaking down and telling him the truth. I don't love you, I love your best friend. I've avoided his advances of sweet kisses or hand holding. The most I can let him do is lay a soft hand on my back for safety. But I don't get the butterflies I do when Rafe was standing 5 feet away from me. Just the sheer mention of his name sends my head into a spin. So when Topper had mentioned he would be there as well tonight, I felt like I was floating.

It didn't seem possible at first, but somehow the guy who was throwing this party had a bigger house than Top, and it was still packed with people. I even spotted a few of the Pogue kids hanging around outside with Sarah. As I stepped into the backyard, I sent them a wave and a small smile. I didn't have time to talk with them as much as Sarah, but from what she told me, they're really nice people. I was never one to judge when it came to anyone on the island. I followed Top to our usual group of friends that, yes unfortunately, included Rafe. My throat got caught up with my own anxiety before I could even spot him. But he wasn't that hard to spot anyway. Standing there with a white button up half open and cargo shorts, his hair flopping in front of his face, and a charming smile that made me go weak. I definitely need to tell him to smile more.

As we walked up, that smile faltered. He brought his cup to his lips to hide his distain, his eyes laid on Topper's hand on my back and continued down my bare legs in the summer heat. I caught his vein filled hands grasp harder onto the Solo cup, afraid it would break. I'm sure he could tell it was just as hard for me to look at him like this, chest exposed with a slight sheen and pecks on full display. His hard jawline enhanced by his soft features.

"Hey what's up party man?" Kelce cheered. He immediately gave us two drinks of some concoction, most likely vodka with a mixture of juices. It was heavy on the vodka. I took a big gulp to get my nerves down, the Kook king still eyeing me without breaking contact. Topper laughed at me, rubbing my back.

"It's only your first drink babe, maybe slow down yeah?" He whispered in my ear, moving a piece of my hair out of my face. The heat in my cheeks rise, my eyes quickly looking over at Rafe's face. It's as if it set a blaze in him and he told our group he'd be in the kitchen getting another drink. I was always afraid when he left the group during a party. I knew about his past with drugs, hell, I was a part of it. Since I grew up around Sarah, I also grew up with her family and their messes. The money, the drugs, the secrets they held. I never wanted him to get to that state again, and even though he has sworn up and down that he has remained sober, I knew addiction to be a monster. It could consume even the best of self disciplined people.

After about an hour of our group talking and drinking, I still noticed Rafe wasn't back and it was worrying me. My leg began to jump uncontrollably and my hands got clammy. Topper had noticed me wipe them on my dress and asked if I was okay. I nodded sweetly and said, "I think the alcohol is getting to me, I'm going to the bathroom to just freshen up." It's the bathroom excuse, it's always the bathroom excuse.

I got up and walked through the kitchen, getting a water to calm my alcoholic nerves down. Barely anyone was in this part of the house since most of the alcohol was outside already, so I plopped down on the counter looking down at my elevated feet. After a few seconds I felt a presence and a set of eyes staring at me. The only thing I could do was stare back with a defeated face. He walked up closer to me and stood with his back leaning up against the island in front of me. He raised his shoulders, as if a way to say 'I don't know what to do either'.

"You haven't been over in a week." He says lowly.

"You know why."

"Okay, I do." He pushed himself off, his arms on now both sides of my thighs, dangerously close to touching them. Our proximity diminished, I could feel him on me even when he wasn't touching me. "But I need you to say it. I need to know you think about me the same way I think of you, that when you close your eyes all you see is me, that you want to touch and kiss me as badly as I want to do to you right now." I felt Rafe's thumb lightly graze my outer thigh, not in a sexual way, but a comforting way. In a way that he's trying to make me feel comfortable enough to confess that I do. I'm sure I do a million times more than he does.

"I can't." I whispered. He looked behind him a few times to make sure no one was around, it was dead.

"Nobody can hear you. It's just us."

I jumped off the counter. "There is no us Rafe. There isn't one now, and there can't be. I can't hurt Topper." I walked off, my heart beating so fast I could feel it in my feet. I finally found a long staircase and I let it lead me to a random guest room and let out the biggest exhale. My shoulders and neck felt heavy, the weight of my feelings + Rafe's + Topper's. It was all too much.

I heard heavy footsteps rounding the staircase and into the room. He was the most relentless driven human I had ever met. But maybe that was the quality I loved most. He never gave up on his sobriety, he never gave up on making his family better...he never gave up on me. I just didn't know it then. Right now was not the right time for this though and he just didn't seem to grasp that he was pining after his best friends girl and his sisters best friend.

"Rafe leave me alone!" I shouted covering my tear filled eyes.

"I need to hear you say it and when you do, I'll go. I'll go down there and break my heart while watching you kiss my best friend. I'll let myself slip into agony as the days go on without you, because I want you. And I intend to have you one day. I will wait for you, that is a damn promise Y/N. I just need you to say it now." He grabbed my wrists and removed them from my eyes, his burning a whole into mine. He was searching for some kind of answer for me to give him, but I could never in good faith make a man wait for me, when I am definitely no one to wait for. As I opened my mouth to object, the door to the room slammed shut and I heard a jumble outside. I released myself from him and ran to the door trying to jiggle it open but no luck.

"Sorry Y/N." I huffed and hit the door with my fist.

"Sarah! What are you doing?!"

"I'm not letting you out until you two talk it out."

"Talk what out? There's nothing to talk about!" I began trying to open the door once more.

"You don't have to lie to me anymore okay I know. I know that you're in love with my brother. I've seen it everyday since we've met. Please, just talk it out for the good of everyone else." She pleaded. I could hear in her voice she wanted this probably as much as Rafe did. Like brother like sister.

I stopped fighting and I marched over to his tall figure. "You want to hear me say it, fine. I love you. You are all my desires, you are my moon that guides me and moves me. You are simply everything I've ever wanted personified. I have never grieved over someone as much as I have you. Rafe Cameron you are my fears, my successes, my good days and my bad days and I want you. I want you in every way. You occupy every inch of my mind giving me no space for anything else because to me, nothing else matters enough for me to remember except every aspect of you! I've loved you for years and I know I'm going to keep loving you." I huffed. In a swift motion, almost too fast for me to understand, he grabbed me by the waist and held me against his chest. I felt his heart rapidly beating, matching the speed of mine. I was out of breath, but his touch instantly gave me a refresh. I just let myself sink into him, finally letting the emotions I had been harboring inside out. His hand combed over my hair, letting his fingers linger on the nape of my neck.

"I promised I would do everything I said, but we don't have to do that to ourselves Y/N. If this is what you want, let me give it to you." His voice soft, like the beginning of a rain shower.

"I can't do that to-"

"I don't care what he wants, what your friends want, or even what I want. What do you want?" The rain shower force now coming through his words.

"It doesn't matter what I want! Whatever I choose, someone's going to get hurt!"

"So you'd rather hurt yourself everyday than let yourself be happy?" Wasn't so much a question, more of an accusation. "For the time I've known you that's all you've ever done. You've only cared for others but never had the same affection towards yourself. Give yourself love, give yourself care. That's how I got through my sobriety."

I finally looked up into his eyes. Knowing the strong man he was through those times really did inspire me from afar. I always wished I could be that strong to love myself enough to get what I wanted. In Rafe's case, he wanted to be sober for himself and his family. It seems so selfish to me that all I wanted was love, it seemed so minuscule compared to any other big problem.

"It's selfish Rafe. It's so selfish of me." I cried.

"I learned it's also okay to be selfish sometimes. You can be the most caring person, but it truly takes a toll when you don't give some of that to yourself. It's selfish, but the good kind."

"There's a good kind?" He laughed and held his hand above my cheek. His eyes followed from my brows to my lips, taking it every curve and shape for his memory. His nose came and budged against mine and then his lips touched mine. My head filled with doves and love songs and every good thing I had ever experienced. I wanted to live in his moment forever. My arms fell limp by his sides as he held me against him. After a few seconds he pulled away, and his eyes found mine again.

"Let's do this, the right way this time. Not just you watching me from a distance." I slapped his arm playfully as he laughed again. "Don't worry I was watching you too."

"I'll talk to Topper." He nodded, giving my forehead a lingering kiss and we walked towards the door. And Sarah was waiting there, anticipation painted in her furrowed brows.

1 month later

We were at the Cameron house, all of the family outside by the pool setting up for a sunset dinner. Rafe's arm around my shoulders as we sat on their hammock. He swayed us back and fourth quietly, leaving quick kisses every now and then. I could feel him admire me and take in the woman he had so loved all those years, now finally his. And I the same.

The talk with Topper of course wasn't easy. He didn't take it the lightest. It was the first time I truly saw Topper cry. The heartbreak was clear as water. I cried with him. I really did wish I could've loved him in any way I could, but that's something I had to teach myself when I broke it off. That you can't force anything. It only prolongs pain. And I also learned, I can't blame myself for every bad thing I do. That's something Rafe taught me.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" I asked sweetly.

"Anything."

"When did you tell Sarah about your feelings? I mean she locked me in a room with you, she had to have conspired with you that night a month ago right?"

He chuckled to himself, a slight flashback of the conversation with Sarah playing his brain as he watched the sun finally set.

Flashback to that night...Rafe's POV

I found myself an unoccupied part of the house with an empty cup and a a slight buzz. I squeezed the cup so hard it broke, and threw it harshly at the wall in front of me. I began to pant and I paced my breathing to slow down my anger.

"Whoa tiger, don't wreck this house it's not ours." Her voice can be so annoying sometimes.

"Go away Sarah." I ordered, but she only came in front of me and picked up the busted cup.

"No, I'm going to talk and for once you're going to listen." I shook my head. "I know you love Y/N."

"W-what...what, why do you even think that." My fingers came up to my temple and tapped beside my head.

"I've watched it since we were kids Rafe. I only pushed her to be with other guys because you weren't stepping up, and you don't usually talk about your feelings." She explained matter-of-factly.

"Sarah, she's with Topper now okay. And she's happy. Just let her be and stop meddling."

"You can't just walk away from this! It's only going to get harder on you two. I hate it when you're selfish, but this is the one time I'm asking you to be for the sake of my best friends happiness!"

My jaw locked and my eyes looked everywhere but her. She was right. She was right on every level.

"I know you don't want to see her stay with your best friend and possibly eventually marry him. So go talk some sense into her and give you and her some peace. I'll even hold the door!" A small laugh came out, and my shoulders loosened up at that.

"Besides, she's always loved you more."

aw yes I would love to! im coming up with ideas for it this week (: