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manic sixie dream girl, apparently

@lurking-latinist / lurking-latinist.tumblr.com

call me aurelia. || personal blog, with lots of doctor who || not isabella beeton's pr manager || fandoms under fandom tags || faith-related stuff under #aurelia posts about jesus || I sometimes softblock new followers or unfollow people when the dash gets overwhelming; it's nothing personal & interaction is still welcome!

“Then who am I?”

The Twin Dilemma - season 21 - 1984

You know, I never see that first image with the caption and it just hit me that that is the defining sentiment of the era. Not the in your face “ I am the Doctor, whether you like it or not” that we’re all so fond of quoting just -

“He’s not himself” / “then who am I?”

And it’s not aggressive nor is it despairing, it’s a very genuine honest question here. And he’s not disagreeing per se with the assessment that he’s not himself, he’s plumbing the logic to see if it holds. Because Peri is incontrovertibly right - he’s not himself in this story, in a deeper way than simply no longer being his previous persona. And that really is the central question of the era isn’t it - what’s his actual personality vs what’s the lingering aftereffects of a particularly difficult regeneration.

The other thing that strikes me is that, while the question of who the Doctor is comes up not infrequently, it’s usually evaluated externally. From Xoanon’s “if you’re the Doctor than who am I???” to “run you clever boy and be a Doctor” it’s this semi-mythical persona that’s being examined. “Who is the Doctor?” asks the Doctor. And - “if I’m not The Doctor then who am I?” is the question that Hurt and Whittaker grapple with, albeit in different ways. But this isn’t about role or history or Legend - it’s a very quiet, very personal “Well, if I’m not myself, then who am I?” It’s entirely internally focused - and it’s just genuine curiosity, not necessarily some deep philosophical crisis. (Honestly being the Sixth Doctor is a deep philosophical crisis all by itself).

And, tellingly, unlike other times he asks this sort of question -

He doesn’t get an answer

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