whenever i find a good world heritage post i do my best to carefully remove unnecessary "why is this so funny!!" or "i cant believe i found the original" reblog comments. sometimes it takes a bit of work digging back through the reblog graph to accomplish this but fine art restoration is tedious but important work

you get it

i know we're all sick of self-care being a marketing tactic now, but i don't think a lot of us have any other concept of self-care beyond what companies have tried to sell us, so i thought i'd share my favorite self-care hand out

brought to you by how mad i just got at a Target ad

OP this is EXCELLENT

Now THAT’S a self care resource! If you’ve gotten distracted by capitalism’s appropriation of “self-care” and watering the meaning down to nothing this is a super helpful guide to cut through the bullshit.

also, its sister tweet:

How could you forget:

The insomnia Olympics always baffles the fuck out of me, as a certified sleepy bitch. Don’t tell me you get three hours of sleep a night like you’re proud of your accomplishment and expect me to one-up. NO. I torture myself by getting seven most worknights and if I don’t get some naps in, by the end of the week I’m yawning drowsing watery-eyed pile of stupid. Wow you “really only need” four hours? Ok girl. I get it might not be in your control but this is a weird thing to be competitive about and I’m not gonna play. I love sleep. Honkshoomimimi land is the greatest.

Eleven hours was a bit of an overachievement but I sure was tired last night!

The insomnia Olympics always baffles the fuck out of me, as a certified sleepy bitch. Don’t tell me you get three hours of sleep a night like you’re proud of your accomplishment and expect me to one-up. NO. I torture myself by getting seven most worknights and if I don’t get some naps in, by the end of the week I’m yawning drowsing watery-eyed pile of stupid. Wow you “really only need” four hours? Ok girl. I get it might not be in your control but this is a weird thing to be competitive about and I’m not gonna play. I love sleep. Honkshoomimimi land is the greatest.

Eleven hours was a bit of an overachievement but I sure was tired last night!

In Prince's funky name, amen.

Millennial here. All the above and:

Please send me the training or tutorial in a written format with maybe some screenshots if necessary. I don't want a video tutorial. I don't want to waste time trying to scroll to the exact moment in the instructions that I need and then have to pause and replay it because I missed the .01 seconds of actually relevant information.

Please. Text. Maybe some images for clarification. I can read. I promise.

Skimmable, SEARCHABLE instructions. If they're long, there should be a hyperlinked table of contents.

Elder Millennial here cosigning HARD

If you really need to show a movement, embed a gif or 15-scond-or-less video in the text, like Jod intended.

I work in science communications and I am constantly hearing about how we need to try to do video to appeal to the newest generation of scientists and it's like do you think physicists who can't read are a good idea?

idk thinking about how sometimes you have to show up for people you aren't that close to, because sometimes you're just the person who's there. sometimes you invite a new friend to a party and end up having to sit with them through a panic attack. sometimes you run into an acquaintance on their worst day and they need to talk about what happened. sometimes someone is crying in a stairwell and you're the only one around to ask if they're okay. and none of this is "trauma dumping" or whatever the fuck it's just being there for people because you're the one in the room with them.

My then-coworker was pregnant with her second child. One day she mentioned being terrified she'd go into labor at three in the morning and no one would be available to take care of her toddler while she went to the hospital.

"I know it's stupid," she said, "but I can't stop thinking about it."

"Call me if that happens, " I said, because we lived 15 minutes away from each other. "I'll run over and watch her until her grandparents get there."

And I didn't think too much of it at the time, but after my coworker came back from maternity leave she told me that this conversation, where some girl from work promised to give up a couple hours of sleep if her family had an emergency, was the reason she was able to sleep at night for the rest of the pregnancy.

What's interesting about this is that you didn't actually get called, and you didn't have to run anywhere at 3AM. You just had to be willing to if it happened.

So often, it's not even that you have to do anything; you just have to make it clear that if you would if it became necessary.

We literally cannot let them start charging 80 dollars for video games 70 dollars was already outrageous 60 was pushing it. 80 fucking dollars. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND. For MARIO?!?!?!?!?

If we don’t buy it, they’ll lower the price, just like the 3DS. They make more money from 2 million people buying it at $60 than 1 million at $80

Don't even buy the console, don't let them think they can get away with this

I refuse to live in a world where a console cartridge costs eighty fucking dollars

Dont forget the game isnt even in the cartridges either

i have so many feelings about this 🥺

a lot of you are just mean idk there's no other way to put it

this is probably one of the more tolerable social platforms given that a significant chunk of the rest of them are literal nazi hangouts but like. idk man something about this place has hardened a lot of its users into just downright belligerent antisocial (there's that word again) people who have been on here so long that you don't really know how to speak to other people appropriately. like I really do miss when telling people kys was a massive taboo on this site bc the widening of the rhetorical boundaries has kinda brought with it this broader sense of malice and cruelty. like sure I know that caring about tone over substance is the clarion call of liberals but it does kinda matter to an extent. like the way you speak and deliver your ideas still does matter. and there are lots of people on here that I agree with and even follow who I would absolutely not want to be friends with irl bc I'd be walking on eggshells trying not to piss them off.

The biggest misconception in public schools is that literary analysis is about proving you can be right or wrong about a book you read

Literary analysis isn’t about the book

It’s not even about being right

It’s about performing an investigation and presenting your case to the jury

It doesn’t matter if your defendant killed that guy or not. If you can convince the jury he didn’t, you’ve won

And the incredible life skill of spinning bulletproof bullshit out your ass with a handful of facts and a prayer is soooooooo much more valuable than anyone’s ever gonna tell you

Bullshitting is becoming a lost art

😔 Another industry lost. Should have bought stock in Grifting

[guy with the Cant Focus Disorder] why the fuck can't I focus

i just need to focus

911 - Ficlet

"You know what I'm really tired of," he says when Tommy answers the door, pushing past him into the house he's only ever been to a handful of times, but whose address he still has saved in his GPS as Tommy (home).

"Please, come in.  Make yourself at home," Tommy says sourly.  "Evan, what are you doing here?"

He makes a beeline for Tommy's fridge, and god he always has such pretentious fucking taste in beer.  Good, but pretentious.  And he's such a prissy bitch when you call him out on it.  He'd loved that about him.  Loves that.

He grabs one at random, hunting for the bottle opener in the drawer next to the sink.  "Maddie thinks I need to learn how to be alone again."  Takes a swallow.  Tommy just stands there in the doorway, staring at him, not moving.  "She's wrong.  Couldn't manage to graduate from college, but I've got a fucking PhD in how to be alone."  Takes another swig, and then pauses to look at the label, but this is actually really good.  "What I need to learn is how to get someone to want to stay.

He looks at Tommy, who's still frozen in the doorway.

"She agrees with you, by the way.  Also thinks I'm in love with Eddie."  Takes another drink and then goes to root through Tommy's pantry for the doritos he knows are there somewhere, because Tommy won't admit it, but he loves them.

Makes a low triumphant noise when he finds them.  Takes a handful and holds the bag out ot Tommy, "You want some?"  Tommy shakes his head mutely.

He shrugs, "Your loss."  Crunches his way though a few.  "You're both wrong, you know.  Even if it would be really fucking convenient for the narrative."  Tommy starts to say something, and he cuts him off.  "Am I sad that my best friend is gone?  Yes.  Am I not dealing well living in his house?  Also yes.  Fucking sue me."  Crunches a few more chips and chases it with a swallow of beer.  "Eddie's house was one of the first places I found where I was always welcome.  He trusted me to take care of the most important thing in the world to him.  I think I get to be upset that he moved back to Texas.  I get why he went.  I don't even disagree with it.  I wish my parents had loved me half that much.  I still get to be upset about it."  Points the beer bottle at Tommy.  "Okay?"

Tommy holds up his hands.  "Okay."

He nods.  Takes the last swallow of beer in the bottle.  "What was I saying?"

Tommy shakes his head.  "I have no idea.  Evan, why are you here?"

He frowns.  "Oh, I came to apologize."

Tommy's eyebrows go up.  "This was an apology?"

He waves a hand.  Contemplates whether he wants another beer.  "No.  I wanted to apologize for what I said, about not having feelings for everyone I slept with.  That wasn't about you, but I realized that probably wasn't obvious."

"No," Tommy says, and finally crosses the kitchen to get a beer of his own.  "It wasn't."

He takes the second beer when Tommy holds it out to him.  He can uber home if he has to.  "I was mad," he offers.

"Got that, thanks."

He snorts without really meaning too.  "I missed this."  Tommy's eyebrows go up.  "The way you're bitchy and mean."  Sits down at the table opposite Tommy.  "I missed you.  I don't know if I'm still in love with you, but I know I'm not over you, no matter how many things I bake."

"Bake?"  Tommy echoes.

"I baked every time I wanted to call you, or thought about you.  I could have opened a bakery with what I made."  Rubs his hand down his jeans.  "With what I'm still making."  Risks a look at Tommy from under his lashes.

"Okay," Tommy says slowly.  "So, if the comment about not having feelings for everyone you sleep with wasn't aimed at me, who was it aimed at?"

He grimaces.  "Everyone?  No, really.  Everyone keeps telling me to get back on the horse, or there are other fish in the sea - and seriously, what's with all the animal metaphors.  It's creepy."  Takes a breath.  "So I did.  I tried that.  Downloaded grindr and hinge, went to a bar.  Hooked up with a girl.  Hooked up with a guy.  Didn't like it."  Rubs his hand on his pants again.  Takes a nervous swallow of beer.  "The thing is, I want it to be true.  I want to have feelings for the people - person - I'm sleeping with.  But the only person I want that with is you.  And you keep leaving."

"Evan."

He closes his eyes at the sound of Tommy saying his name.  "That's not fair?"

"No," Tommy admits.  "It's fair.  I run before I can get my heart broken.  That's my MO.  Doesn't," he lets out a shaky laugh.  "Doesn't seem to be working well when it comes to you."

He puts his hand on the table, palm up.  "Were you serious about Saturday?"

Tommy stares at his hand.  "Yes?"

"Pick me up at 7?  Not," he adds hastily, "Micelli's.  That place has bad karma."

Tommy lets out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob.  He can relate.  "Not Micelli's," he promises.  Then, "I'm not over you either."

He nods.  "Good.  Maybe we can both learn how to not be alone."

"I was always good at math," Tommy says, and finally finally takes his hand.

I don’t know why they chose me to talk to but I’m grateful they did!

Dropout: Hey guys, this sucks but we really need to increase prices just a lil bit. Things are expensive. It’s gonna be an extra $1 a month, ok? Sorry about that. BUT- only for new subscribers. We’re not gonna charge more if you’re already subscribed, that’d just be mean. Here, our CEO made a video for you.

Everyone else: Yeah we’re bumping prices up $50. Yeah for everyone. No you still have to watch ads.

hate going to the doctors with persistent debilitating symptoms and then then they call you with the results which is just like good news! your blood is red

HEARTBREAKING: band you just discovered doesn't have any other songs that sound like that