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Uchiha Voodoo

@malignedaffairs / malignedaffairs.tumblr.com

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itwasyummy asked:

I just saw your post re: losing the spark for I/S, and as someone who’s been wrestling with a similar bear I feel your pain!! I feel like it’s okay to not put pressure on yourself - like, if inspiration strikes for more I/S stuff at some point, cool! If not, that’s also cool and we’re lucky to have your art either way, wherever the spark takes you. I’m so happy and grateful to have gotten to see so much of your art for many (many!!) years in the same fandom; your work still brings me lots of joy. And I shall look forward to admiring whatever you choose to share next! :D

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Thank you for reaching out! Oh man, it's so weird, isn't it? I hate letting go. If you've been into something for that long, it becomes part of your identity! And then getting less intense about it feels like a betrayal, and an emptiness. And moreover, it can mean losing the real contacts tied to it. That's why it's so healing to see that apparently a lot of people are more flexible about what I draw than I am myself :D I think that's the way to go, to not put pressure on myself and accept the inspiration for them as it comes and goes. That latest drawing of them was a labour of love that I didn't have to force. It just happens less often now. And also I'm giving this right back to you - you were such a staple in our little fandom for so many years and your fics shaped the mental image of so many gorgeous scenes in my head. When you let me illustrate One love, two mouths it kickstarted me into drawing doujinshi regularly. I'll always be grateful for that, and I love still seeing you around!

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Anonymous asked:

Hi there, saw your post about your blog cleaning and, maybe, the end of your long shiita era. First, i would like to apologize. This is gonna be a long ask, and it's not really pleasant to read. But i wanted to write it all, so you could measure the gratitude i feel towards you. I owe you some of the best moments of those last few months.

So.

I'm 24, currently depressed, in student debts. Wondering why I'm still alive, wondering if I'll still be employed in a few months, wondering each morning if life is still worth it.

That's the kind of thoughts I'm having 90% of the time.

Other times, i escape.

Shisui and Itachi are my escape. My easy mental refuge. They occupy the only part of my brain that still feels alive, creative, and able of feelings that are not about me or my depression. The part that feels some kind of love, not for life but for what it could offer if i was just willing to type a few lines on a keyboard and let myself have fun. They are an easy way to forget and create another reality – and, I'm repeating myself, but that's fun. I enjoy that. There's not much activities i tend to enjoy those days so- that counts!

And your work- your work. Let's say I've never encountered a work like yours. You're filling a void, a want that I had, a desire: to see them. Not to imagine them, not to write them, not too watch their pale anime version or read their rough manga selves. To see them. To see their love. Their sadness. Their anger. Their happiness. Their shared moments. To see them in every context you seemed fit, and you were so right each time. You were on point. There was no face, that you draw, no expression, no gesture, no position, no place, no glance that was over the line or wrong. You were perfect. You succeeded in every drawing. Your style, your touch, everything. Perfect.

And for that, i can't thank you enough. Your drawings are like a dream comes true. That sentence is so melodramatic it sounds stupid but hell- i feel like you've reached directly in my brain to put it on paper – and you've been drawing them for so much time! I don't even think i was aware of their existence in 2013. At least, I wasn't that obsessed with them. That's magic. To think i stumbled upon your drawings years later, when i most needed them – mentally – I'm just awed.

But mostly, I'm awed by your talent and your accuracy and overall, your ability to analyze their relationship through your lense before translating it - transferring it - on paper, whether through words or through drawn lines.

Thank you for existing. For having offered us so much fun, and love, and wowness. For your art in general, you're so talented.

Whatever you decide on your future artworks, i just hope you'll continue to have fun and be happy about it. Overall, i pray life will be gentle, sweet and full of very good moments for you.

Thank you so much for everything.

An (obsessed) ((but usually silent)) fan of your work.

I'm very sorry to hear you're not doing well. I hope your situation gets better over time and you can hang in there.

Please know that your message is so appreciated. Even though I can't keep up the intensity and frequency I used to have with my drawings of them, I still love Shiita and they'll always hold a special place in my heart. Actually they did a lot of the same things for me they did for you, and I'm so glad that we were able to share in that for the incredible amount of time we did! Whatever comes next.

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I apologize for the awful quality of the pics I've been taking of my recent illustrations. For whatever reason, my new phone's camera does close-up pictures much worse than the old one.

It's surprisingly hard to present traditional art online in an accessible way if you don't have access to a good scanner. But I've been asking around for camera equipment to take high quality pictures of the whole pages. Hopefully I can start posting them on AO3 soon!

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#wow cool i've literally been so depressed today that i mixed up the start of my yoga class#the same class i've been doing for almost two months on a fixed schedule#i was so busy ruminating to hell and back that i just thought it starts at 7 pm for some reason#i'm on vacation i literally did nothing all day and this class would have been really good to visit#i stood here in workout clothes wondering why it's suddenly getting dark outside earlier than the previous two weeks#when it dawned on me#that the class has started like 30 minutes ago while i was here thinking i'd be on point#why fifi why
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Just went through my very old posts to clean up my blog a little and it's been - phew! Unexpectedly emotional. All these incredibly lovely asks I got and 90% of those urls are deactivated. I wonder where you guys are now, how you're doing?

Also, time is weird in that way. I read some of my own tags about "being nostalgic" in the fandom like two years in and the post is from fcking 2013 :D Those filler Shiita episodes came out in 2014!! I remember even back then I felt like I had already been in the fandom forever. Now it feels like another life!

Also, it makes me feel very sad but it's time to admit that I've lost my spark for Shiita, and that being in online fandom as a whole has been feeling lonelier and lonelier. This seems to be it, the inevitable thing that had to come eventually, but... my heart :(

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Lying in bed knowing you should have fallen asleep an hour ago but not emotionally being ready to let go of the weekend is SO INFURIATING

#hello police i didn't get to draw this weekend#i'm joking but not really#it's actually infuriating when you're full of ideas what to do and then you have to STOP#because it's a damn sunday evening#knowing that all of these ideas and the energy and joy will be sucked out of you fir the next few days#:(#and knowing you're already too late to even sleep enough#man damn it...just why does this feel like a prison sometimes
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ladiebythesea asked:

do you freehand your illustrations in your Elden ring book?? Or do you start with an outline? I’ve been so curious, they all look flawless!

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I always make a pencil sketch first that I ink over! Most important for the end result to look good is that the pencil sketch has the right proportions and includes all the basic information. I do freehand little details like the tiny intricate armour embellishments where it matters more to get the visual idea across rather than copying it to a t.

But I reference them super closely, as in they are basically studies of screenshots from my own gameplay or other people's ER videos. That way it's much easier to get a very solid pencil sketch without too much thinking and trying around.

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inclinedtoleave asked:

Your Elden ring work is incredible, I’m obsessed. Idk if you’ve discussed this elsewhere, but will you consider selling copies of the book when you’ve finished (not sure how that’d work with copyright but I hope it’s possible bc I’d buy)

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Thank you so much!

Yeah honestly the copyright would be my biggest concern because it's clearly not allowed to make money by selling copies like that. But additionally, the logistics of having these things printed and shipping them, dealing with potential losses on the way, protecting my own privacy too... I don't see it happening tbh.

However, I do want to find a way to scan the double pages whole and post them on my AO3 so people can enjoy the complete layouts.

#flashback to when i sold my naruto artbooks#ordering the prints to my home and shipping from there to be safer from copyright troubles#and there were these two weirdos who seemed to know each other but one ordered from china and one from thailand#and both claimed their books never arrived#and it was either return their money so i lost money and a book or keep their money and feel like a scammer :(#honestly i think they were frauds#they were curiously the only ones out of 50 or so that ever happened to#there's no real way to protect yourself from stuff like that when you're not doing this professionally#and to think i used to write my private name and address on all those parcels#didn't feel good back then and wouldn't feel good now either
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To everyone writing nice things in the tags on my drawings, I love you and I read them all, just saying <3

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