Reblogged
Been working on these for the past week!
Arthur, Merlin, and Gwaine are on a trip together:
Gwaine: Everyone always says to turn lemons into lemonade, but some people pay others to make it for them, and some people have a dull knife and brute strength.
Merlin: Sometimes life gives you lemons, but while you're making lemonade, you forget and rub your eyes with lemon-covered hands.
Arthur: You know, ever since Merlin and you started talking about lemons, I've been craving lemon pie, lemon cake, lemon juice...
Gwaine: ... is there such a thing as lemon cake?
Merlin: Seriously, that's your concern, Gwaine? And Arthur, stop thinking about food—at this rate, your belt won’t even close anymore!
Arthur: Weren’t you the one who said eating lemons helps you lose weight?
Merlin: Only if you walk 20 km from the castle every day to get the lemons yourself!
Gwaine: Have you ever thought that lemons might be a human invention—a sour orange mixed with a fruit called citron?
Merlin: How did we even end up in this conversation!?
Arthur: I don’t know, you and Gwaine started talking about lemons.
Merlin: 🙄
Gwaine: Can we stop somewhere for lemonade?
Arthur:*Complaining about something while looking disheveled and sweaty.*
Knights:*Listening normally.*
Merlin: *Obsessively watching.*
Arthur: ...
Merlin: *Staring at Arthur without blinking.*
Arthur:Are you listening to me?
Merlin: You know, just a tip, but I think it’d be in the best interest of all your knights if you stopped looking so hot while giving orders and arguing with me...
Arthur:What! 😳
Merlin: *Licks his lips and smiles.* Just saying, sir.
Leon: Get a room, you two! *So tired.*
Arthur is captured by pagans.
Arthur *in prison*: So, don't panic, but I think I accidentally volunteered to be a human sacrifice.
Merlin, *trying to open the cell where Arthur is held*: HOW?!
Arthur: Well, I don't know, I mentioned that a prince can't engage in sexual relations before marriage, and I guess they figured I was a virgin.
Gwaine *dying of laughter*: 🤣
Merlin: Oh, for the love of the gods. Hang tight, we're almost done unlocking this damned lock.
Arthur: Okay... just be quick, if you can. It looks like they're preparing the fire.
Leon *looking at the pagans preparing torches*: I don't know, sir, I think those are just decorations...
Lancelot *looking pale*: I think they plan to throw you into the volcano...
Elyan *looking nauseous while staring at a cauldron*: I think they want to eat you...
Percival *laughing*: Eat, sure, but not in the way you guys are probably thinking *points to a large bed surrounded by torches and flowers*.
Gwaine: Oh my God *sees some naked people* ... so Merlin, maybe it's better to let the princess have a little fun with...
Merlin *jealously breaks the cell door*: Get out of that cell now, Arthur, we're leaving, now! *growls*
Arthur *gulps and steps out of the cell*
#merlin#bbc merlin#merlin bbc#merlin emrys#merlin x arthur#merthur#merlin incorrect quotes#incorrect qutoes#brazil humor#percival bbc#leon and merlin#leon and percival#the knights of the round table#gwaine x percival#arthur and gwaine#gwaine and lancelot#merlin and lancelot#lancelot du lac#bbc elyan#elyan
Gwen: Arthur would you like to help me pick out my outfit for tomorrow?
Arthur: Sure
Gwen: Good! let's get started
Arthur, *three hours later, sprawled out on the bed*: i don't know, Gwen. i liked the eighth one but the sleeves were a little much? the shoes with the third one were nice. if you take the accessories you planned to put with the fifth one and combined that, then...
Merlin *walking in*: there you are. i was wondering where you two...
Arthur: Don't just stand there. help
*Another hour later*
Gwen: There. What about this?
Arthur and Merlin , *both sprawled out on the bed*: Good, perfect
Merlin: though i did prefer the boots
Arthur: No one asked.
Merlin's Diary
Day 44 since the King has gone.
"My King, I cried in hiding once again, I cried within the deepest hole I could find, I cried for days until I died of dehydration and then, unfortunately, was reborn once more. Today I got up and went out, but only at night, because seeing the sunlight would bring me to tears again. I fear that you might see me from wherever you are, and so I hide in the shadows, because I know that if you could see how much I have cried for you, you would hate yourself..."
Merlin trying to be nice to Mordred after Arthur asked, part 7
Arthur *dragging Merlin by the ear*: Could you at least try to be a little nicer to Mordred!?
Merlin: I was being nice!
Arthur: You were threatening him with a dagger, Merlin!
Merlin: Well, yes, but I only *threatened* him, I didn't actually kill him or anything!
Arthur: Wow, Merlin, how amazing, you didn't commit a crime, congratulations to you 🙄.
Merlin: I... *crosses his arms* I didn't like your tone, sir.
Arthur: 😒
Merlin: Don't make that face at me! I'm trying to be nice to Mordred, but sometimes he makes things difficult!
Arthur: You know, you really should learn to be nicer and less...you.
Merlin: You know what, sir, if being sarcastic burned calories—you would be a lot skinnier right now, what a shame it doesn't work that way for you.
Arthur: Are you calling me fat!?
They start arguing.
Mordred: 🥺 *watching mom and dad fight for the sixth time in just one hour*
#merlin#bbc merlin#merlin bbc#merlin emrys#merlin x arthur#merthur#merlin incorrect quotes#incorrect qutoes#brazil humor#poor mordred#arthur and mordred#sir mordred#mordred#mom Arthur pendragon#dad Merlin#Arthur is the cat mom who has adopted a puppy against her husband's wishes and now needs to be careful that Merlin doesn't eat the baby.