I am here. I am trying to recover. Numbers are losing meaning, as is sentence structure and the ability to write for stints. I'm trying. I'm here. I wish I had more content. I miss writing, but every time, it feels like my head is on fire after maybe 5 or 6 minutes of solid thought.

I'm still fighting and thanks for being so patient.

Still here. Still fighting. So far the MRIs look good and the seizures aren't triggered by photosensitivity. I know it's good that they're finding nothing, but I have a fear that they won't believe me. They're painful, but the medicines are making them slightly less frequent

I can't wait to fine tune these meds so I can get back to writing or the very least recooperating slightly.

Reblog the writers’ fortune cookie for luck!

Guys I reblogged this and then wrote an 8000 word story I didn’t even have a solid plan for. Reblog this shit.

Closer To an Answer

So that's the good news... the BAD news... my seizures are increasing in frequency and duration. They also seem to be the worst at night HOWEVER... now I am having the lovely experience of having short absence seizures like I just did before I left for work... Two of them. One maybe a minute or two. The second doubled that time.

Oh, also, my tongue locked up for the first time too sooooo... 🙃

Oh and my neurologist is fairly certain I have epilepsy and I've been suffering from it since I was a child. However, I was told I had ADHD which explained the spells.

Worst Part?

Writing is my therapy and I love it so much. It makes me want to cry that I am having trouble recognizing whether or not I missed words and that many times I forget words entirely due to the fog.

It's like I am not piloting my brain or like I'm driving in a car with frosted windows. I know I'm technically driving, but I can't see or remember where I'm going.

And sometimes my brain just randomly finishes sentences without me telling it to. So if you notice a drop in quality, due to someone I really care about telling me not to apologize or else, I won't finish that sentence or apologize.

I'm still going to try to write, if anything, a drabble or two. That way, not much cognitive load is being put on. I can also keep doing ICLY but shorten the chapters. The choice is yours!

I Can't Lose You-Chapter 13

Warnings: Non really! Just some A quality fluff, there is some references to hard times, other than that, nothing.

Pairing: Changbin x Reader

Characters: All boys minus Chan

A/N: Okay this is super fluffy dare I say brush your teeth after. Enjoy!

I Can't Lose You Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

It was the soft light of dawn that stirred Changbin from sleep. He felt a warm weight on his bicep, his hand aching from the bruises on it. He made sure not to flex it as he turned his head to see the owner of that warm weight. He smiled to himself, looking at you, your body angled towards him, your angel plush koala’ed with your head on his bicep. 

He fought the yawn trying to escape him as he looked at you. You always rested so beautifully. He could watch you for hours, if he was any good at art he would have a studio full of different mediums of the same subject, you. The walls would be covered with photos, paintings, and drawings of when you’re resting, awake, laughing… That was his favorite, it would look like someone turned on a light in a dark room. You always looked like that, too. 

AHHH SO NICEE!! The group chat name though is just 🤌🤌. What anime’s have you watched? (considering Anya from spyxfamily maybe you’ve watched a couple). Anyway keep up the great work as always. 🤍

Thank you so much for the lovely compliments! I am also so happy you enjoy the chat name. If you look close, all the boys have their own semi meme relation instead of their names. For example, Bin's Pada Kokkili (walrus).

ALSO, yes, I have watched anime. I watched a lot when I was with my ex. BRACE YOURSELVES NERD CONTENT AHEAD!!

*deep breath in* I've watched SpyxFamily. I've also watched Guram Lagan, Mob Psycho, One Punch Man, CastleVania, Doro He Doro, Dr.Stone, Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood, Attack on Titan, Chansaw Man, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure... *no air left at the end*

I... think I got them all... oh Demonslayer, Death Note, My Hero Academia and JUJITSU KAISEN!! (I LOVE ALL OF THESE ABOVE CAN YOU TELL??)

Probably more I'm forgetting, but alas, I'm not a computer.

And touch of Baki and Cowboy Beebop (not my speed personally)

So... in summation, my personality is as described above 🤣... Anyone with more anime recommendations please tell me!

Thank you so much for the reblog and lovely question. It's nice to geek out about anime.

OMG THATS A LOT!! I LOVE JJK AND AOT SO MUCH!

I’ve watched like half of what you have… Now ultimate question- Are you caught up on the manga??

I’m not sure if you’ve watched Bungo Stray Dogs but it’s a good anime I would recommend it!

IM SO GLAD I FOUND ANOTHER ANIME WEEB!!

No I am nowhere near as versed in Manga. And ooooh I'll look for it! Thank you also Yaaaayy here have a picture of my cubicle.

Oh my! Soooo cute literally adorable I literally spend my time on an app called 淘宝 (taobao) looking at jjk plushies and I just literally want to buy them all

Let me show you

Sorry it only comes in Chinese.

Those are adorable!!

WHEN HOME BECOMES YOU CHAPTER 9

/ Well Hi!! Heyo!! Soooo..I may or may not have been hit with a wall of inspiration. I also may or may not have cranked out the entirety of chapter 9 for you..Whoops??

/ Anywho..Shes done, unlike a lot of the other chapter this one has a TON of dialogue which was incredibly fun to create for all of you.

/ My usual thanks go to @maximumkillshot for helping me do the segment with Lix and Minho. and @taeminsung, I LOVE your live comments as you text me..hehe

/ I will stop gabbin here we go!!

/ Genre: angst, fluff, comfort, MORE cuddles

/ Warnings: Talks of DV, Family history, talks of injury, Lee Know is kinda mean, Felix and Reader cry, and Swearing.

/ Summary:

Your conversation with her was brief before she paged forward Himora, the old friend of Ivory. He was tall, fair skinned, with neat slicked back hair. His attire was not  far off from a classic 70’s suit and tie detective in an older tv show. Something about it looked and felt familiar. All those years you’d been plopped in front of a tv watching those cheesy cop shows caught up to you now.

I Can't Lose You-Chapter 13

Warnings: Non really! Just some A quality fluff, there is some references to hard times, other than that, nothing.

Pairing: Changbin x Reader???

Characters: All boys minus Chan

A/N: Okay this is super fluffy dare I say brush your teeth after. Enjoy!

I Can't Lose You Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

It was the soft light of dawn that stirred Changbin from sleep. He felt a warm weight on his bicep, his hand aching from the bruises on it. He made sure not to flex it as he turned his head to see the owner of that warm weight. He smiled to himself, looking at you, your body angled towards him, your angel plush koala’ed with your head on his bicep. 

He fought the yawn trying to escape him as he looked at you. You always rested so beautifully. He could watch you for hours, if he was any good at art he would have a studio full of different mediums of the same subject, you. The walls would be covered with photos, paintings, and drawings of when you’re resting, awake, laughing… That was his favorite, it would look like someone turned on a light in a dark room. You always looked like that, too. 

I Can't Lose You-Part 12

Warnings: Tooth Rotting Fluff, mentions of doctors appointments, that's it!

Pairing: BangChan x Reader

Characters: All the boys except Chan, although Chan is mentioned, Reader

A/N: The reader needs a break!!! So here we are. This one is fluffy, it feels good to me. I hope you guys like it! Also, I am pretty sure I had two seizures in the last two days (At least). Thank you to everyone for being so patient. I will try to resume my Friday schedule. Thank you so much for your understanding and well wishes!!

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

I Can't Lose You Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Bin POV:

“Everyone ready to go?” I asked. Early in the morning the psychiatrist came in to talk to Y/N. They asked me to come in for a few seconds with Han. They let us know that they really didn’t want her anywhere near the house and to stay with at least Han and I, but it was preferable for most if not all of us to be there for at least the first week. The trauma tied to the 3 Racha house is just too much at this point, the doctors were also worried about Chan making the recovery even worse than it already is. Y/N agreed wholeheartedly and with that she was given follow up appointments. Finally the latest blood tests came just before lunch and she was given a clean bill of health and an outpatient appointment for her OBGYN. Felix, Minho, I.N., and Hyunjin all went to the DanceRacha house to start prepping for us to head there. Felix texted me that he had a few surprises for her which made me smile, she needs a good surprise right about now. 

I’m still worried about Y/N. The DanceRacha dorms are a good option, but I know that for me, I still have memories tied to Chris there. I’m wondering if that is exactly what she is thinking. I can’t help but worry about it. “Remember the deal with the doctors is for you to be away from that house and with your support system. Are you sure you don’t want a place of your own? I want you to be comfortable as you heal.” 

I Can't Lose You-Chapter 13

Warnings: Non really! Just some A quality fluff, there is some references to hard times, other than that, nothing.

Pairing: Changbin x Reader

Characters: All boys minus Chan

A/N: Okay this is super fluffy dare I say brush your teeth after. Enjoy!

I Can't Lose You Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

It was the soft light of dawn that stirred Changbin from sleep. He felt a warm weight on his bicep, his hand aching from the bruises on it. He made sure not to flex it as he turned his head to see the owner of that warm weight. He smiled to himself, looking at you, your body angled towards him, your angel plush koala’ed with your head on his bicep. 

He fought the yawn trying to escape him as he looked at you. You always rested so beautifully. He could watch you for hours, if he was any good at art he would have a studio full of different mediums of the same subject, you. The walls would be covered with photos, paintings, and drawings of when you’re resting, awake, laughing… That was his favorite, it would look like someone turned on a light in a dark room. You always looked like that, too. 

AHHH SO NICEE!! The group chat name though is just 🤌🤌. What anime’s have you watched? (considering Anya from spyxfamily maybe you’ve watched a couple). Anyway keep up the great work as always. 🤍

Thank you so much for the lovely compliments! I am also so happy you enjoy the chat name. If you look close, all the boys have their own semi meme relation instead of their names. For example, Bin's Pada Kokkili (walrus).

ALSO, yes, I have watched anime. I watched a lot when I was with my ex. BRACE YOURSELVES NERD CONTENT AHEAD!!

*deep breath in* I've watched SpyxFamily. I've also watched Guram Lagan, Mob Psycho, One Punch Man, CastleVania, Doro He Doro, Dr.Stone, Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood, Attack on Titan, Chansaw Man, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure... *no air left at the end*

I... think I got them all... oh Demonslayer, Death Note, My Hero Academia and JUJITSU KAISEN!! (I LOVE ALL OF THESE ABOVE CAN YOU TELL??)

Probably more I'm forgetting, but alas, I'm not a computer.

And touch of Baki and Cowboy Beebop (not my speed personally)

So... in summation, my personality is as described above 🤣... Anyone with more anime recommendations please tell me!

Thank you so much for the reblog and lovely question. It's nice to geek out about anime.

OMG THATS A LOT!! I LOVE JJK AND AOT SO MUCH!

I’ve watched like half of what you have… Now ultimate question- Are you caught up on the manga??

I’m not sure if you’ve watched Bungo Stray Dogs but it’s a good anime I would recommend it!

IM SO GLAD I FOUND ANOTHER ANIME WEEB!!

No I am nowhere near as versed in Manga. And ooooh I'll look for it! Thank you also Yaaaayy here have a picture of my cubicle.

I Can't Lose You-Chapter 13

Warnings: Non really! Just some A quality fluff, there is some references to hard times, other than that, nothing.

Pairing: Changbin x Reader???

Characters: All boys minus Chan

A/N: Okay this is super fluffy dare I say brush your teeth after. Enjoy!

I Can't Lose You Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

It was the soft light of dawn that stirred Changbin from sleep. He felt a warm weight on his bicep, his hand aching from the bruises on it. He made sure not to flex it as he turned his head to see the owner of that warm weight. He smiled to himself, looking at you, your body angled towards him, your angel plush koala’ed with your head on his bicep. 

He fought the yawn trying to escape him as he looked at you. You always rested so beautifully. He could watch you for hours, if he was any good at art he would have a studio full of different mediums of the same subject, you. The walls would be covered with photos, paintings, and drawings of when you’re resting, awake, laughing… That was his favorite, it would look like someone turned on a light in a dark room. You always looked like that, too. 

Awwww 💖 Still want a Binnie like “hers” 🫶🏽

Same though! We need a copy paste function on these guys.. please scientist's. 🙏

I Can't Lose You-Chapter 13

Warnings: Non really! Just some A quality fluff, there is some references to hard times, other than that, nothing.

Pairing: Changbin x Reader

Characters: All boys minus Chan

A/N: Okay this is super fluffy dare I say brush your teeth after. Enjoy!

I Can't Lose You Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

It was the soft light of dawn that stirred Changbin from sleep. He felt a warm weight on his bicep, his hand aching from the bruises on it. He made sure not to flex it as he turned his head to see the owner of that warm weight. He smiled to himself, looking at you, your body angled towards him, your angel plush koala’ed with your head on his bicep. 

He fought the yawn trying to escape him as he looked at you. You always rested so beautifully. He could watch you for hours, if he was any good at art he would have a studio full of different mediums of the same subject, you. The walls would be covered with photos, paintings, and drawings of when you’re resting, awake, laughing… That was his favorite, it would look like someone turned on a light in a dark room. You always looked like that, too. 

AHHH SO NICEE!! The group chat name though is just 🤌🤌. What anime’s have you watched? (considering Anya from spyxfamily maybe you’ve watched a couple). Anyway keep up the great work as always. 🤍

Thank you so much for the lovely compliments! I am also so happy you enjoy the chat name. If you look close, all the boys have their own semi meme relation instead of their names. For example, Bin's Pada Kokkili (walrus).

ALSO, yes, I have watched anime. I watched a lot when I was with my ex. BRACE YOURSELVES NERD CONTENT AHEAD!!

*deep breath in* I've watched SpyxFamily. I've also watched Guram Lagan, Mob Psycho, One Punch Man, CastleVania, Doro He Doro, Dr.Stone, Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood, Attack on Titan, Chansaw Man, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure... *no air left at the end*

I... think I got them all... oh Demonslayer, Death Note, My Hero Academia and JUJITSU KAISEN!! (I LOVE ALL OF THESE ABOVE CAN YOU TELL??)

Probably more I'm forgetting, but alas, I'm not a computer.

And touch of Baki and Cowboy Beebop (not my speed personally)

So... in summation, my personality is as described above 🤣... Anyone with more anime recommendations please tell me!

Thank you so much for the reblog and lovely question. It's nice to geek out about anime.