people say dolphins are smart but there not smart enough to not be Shity grey rubber tubes flappin about in the gotdamn ocean

*they’re

congratulations! you are the piss lord of shit mountain. thank u for hefting turds down the mountainside so that we, the proles, may feast on your bounteous craps

making every conversation into being about The Character with the same reliability and conviction of a youth pastor going “you know who else partied? our lord and savior”

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

Mental illness is all in your head in the same way that prostate cancer is all in your ass.

this person wins everybody else go home

worlds slowest fanfic author tries really really hard

everyone in the notes we are all holding hands. everyone who hasnt worked on a wip in weeks or months or years, its okay. we are going slow but we are going

i love characters who are like oysters emotionally

as in you need a knife to get them to open up

NOTICE: As more and more fanfic writers are using generative AI for their works (you uncreative dweebs), I hereby swear on everything I hold dear that I have not and will NEVER use generative AI in ANY of my written work. Everything I post will be organically and creatively my own.

My drawings as well.

Only two ADHD tasks

1) this task will take me five minutes but I couldn’t possibly do it because I have an appointment in six hours

2) this task will take five hours but I’ll just do it first thing in the morning before I leave

@varsvekis

Characters that have never experienced affection before, or haven't experienced it in a long time, finally getting to experience it? Top tier.

Said character freezing up for a second, not really knowing how to respond, but not wanting it to stop? T o p t i e r.

Said character trying to clumsily return the affection in their own way, because this is Good and they don't want it to stop? T O P T I E R.

Oh woah hey there 🐱 I think that was a funny little accident just now. 🐱 You see I was just licking this plate of food left on the counter and you 🐱 pushed my face right out of the way. I think you just did not notice 🐱 my face was there so no worries, I’ll just go back to 🐱 OH you’ve pushed my face away again? Sorry I don’t mean to embarrass 🐱 you but I am in the middle of something here so I will simply just 🐱 You have pushed my face away again?????? 🐱🐱🐱

He fucking CLIMBED HIM

#yeah you shouldn't mess with wild animals even if they seem to be small and harmless#i just hope that the lizard was okay after this#video#australia

He shouldn't grab it like that but given that the frillneck had literally climbed on top of him I'm not sure he had a whole lot of good options.

What was his goal? Did he think he was going to eat the Giant Biped?

Might have wanted to bite his face perhaps, but it seems counterproductive when the guy was already running away

Frillies love being up high and feel safe there. They also love biting and general agression. The third and most important aspect of their nature is that they're very very very dumb.

These three things combine into a situation where the frillie goes "hey fuck off mate, hey fuck off! Hey I wanna be tall so I'm not scared why is my tree running away. Come back tree! But the guy can Fuck off! gotta climb the tree! WHOA THERES A GUY IN MY TREE??? FUCK OFF!!!"

“Why should rich people pay more” because fuck ‘em

“So you are okay for paying more when you have money” I am not excluded from ‘fuck ‘em’ when relevant

“I am not excluded from ‘fuck ‘‘em’ when relevant” is surprisingly powerful as both a statement and philosophy

you have to stop biting the hand that feeds you. go for the neck

i adore being confronted with the staggering breadth of what individual people can get obsessed with. there's nothing better than having That One Mutual with an advanced degree in ancient greek tragedy who writes minecraft youtube fanfiction to remind you that anyone can love anything

this is how people on tumblr talk about men they like (x)