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little star

@medicine-san / medicine-san.tumblr.com

🍉🕊|| 20+ || 🦂/🌸(♀) || a place to dump my yume ideas || bad english || bad internet || fiction is not reality, please wake up.
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Before we proceed, once again I need to remind everyone that this is a dead dove space. Pau experiment with themes that internet nowadays view as "problematic", and if even after I put this warning someone still want to make a noise, I'm sorry to tell you this but you are probably illiterate and I should be given A+ in my English class.
About Pau (click!)
Tags:
  • #pau daily filling (for ramblings/🌸 or ocs related)
  • #pau twst filling (for twst related works)
  • #7 minutes in hell (discontinued)
  • #there once was a time (slow progress)
About this blog:
  • I made suicidal🌸 and suicidal🕌, and there might be religious connotation in my works.
  • MC will always be referred as 🌸, and I only draw 🌸♀️.
  • I use 🦂 to refer to yandere Kalim, 🦦 for cute or regular Kalim, and 🕌 for Kalim as Kalim al Asim.
  • NL only.
  • I do not make BL/GL as I am not interested in them.
Regarding asks:
  • I only ask 1 thing. Please do not send me those chain posts game that require me to tag people/random people.
  • Asks that incite argument towards anyone or literally fandom drama will be deleted immediately.

thinking about old kalim and mc who likes to rest at their respective chairs side by side while kalim hold her hand. something he started doing more often after they grow old, maybe a certain thing or conversation that happened a while ago strike something in him that made him think "we are getting older, aren't we?"

and even though mc is only 3 years older than him, he can't help but to think that she will probably be the one to leave him first.

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people will said "yuu can be of any age and gender!" and then make fun of 40 yo mom of 3 yuus with unlimited love for these broken children because it's "mysoginistic" to let a women being an emotional support for them or pedophilic because they only see yuu content as romantic. go eat blot rock and have a fucking spine.

you guys annoy me especially whenever I recognized some of VERY familiar faces. you guys don't care about what people use yuu for, you guys just want a reason to bully because you lack capabilities to be creative. how can anyone look at faceless/zero model character games and decided that that character MUST be a certain gender only? if people still can self insert themselves as a guy during the golden time of mystic messenger, why can't you? or do you want yuu to have an in-game mascot like obey me so you guys can believe they are banging us a sheep???

people will said "yuu can be of any age and gender!" and then make fun of 40 yo mom of 3 yuus with unlimited love for these broken children because it's "mysoginistic" to let a women being an emotional support for them or pedophilic because they only see yuu content as romantic. go eat blot rock and have a fucking spine.

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One thing I wish was understood a bit better about Twisted Wonderland.

Everyone in this game has trauma or personal struggles and it's NOT a competition of who has it worse. Honestly, sometimes I wish everyone's traumas were discussed more in depth in the game like we get with each person who Overblots, but we don't have time for it. With the Overblot boys, their trauma is shoved directly into the spotlight and we hear exactly how their situations make them feel. But the rest of the cast, ALL of them, have personal struggles and/or trauma. This is just a small list of some of the issues each non Overblot student has.

Ace masks the fear he feels in a lot of situations, and he's got an inferiority complex on some level. Notice how he bullied the player and Grim in our first interaction? That is a sign of someone who is looking to feel better by pushing someone else down because they don't feel good about themselves.

Deuce grew up with a single mother who had to work multiple jobs to make ends meet, which causes him to worry about her, and he was a delinquent in middle school, which made his mom, the one person he worries over, cry. He lives with those regrets, but he's still got those old habits and he agonizes over the fact he's not academically where he'd like to be and his behavior regresses when in heated situations.

Trey has severe trauma at being screamed at for FIVE HOURS over giving Riddle ONE slice of tart, so much that his vitals are severely affected at the thought of Mrs. Rosehearts and he's heavily conflict avoidant.

Cater has had to move all the time and as a defense mechanism, refuses to be honest or get close to people because he doesn't want to get attached only to be ripped away from them.

Ruggie lives in EXTREME poverty when not at school. He struggles to make ends meet and he has to work so hard in a system that is DESIGNED to keep him in poverty, because many beastmen still prefer segregation in the Sunset Savannah.

Jack has one of the healthier mindsets, but he still struggles with being open and honest about his feelings, which makes it hard to have friends, and he struggled with watching Leona, someone he's idolized, fall short of what he believed of Leona.

Jade and Floyd are implied to have grown up in some form of crime family and both seem to have handled the fact their lives could be in constant danger differently. Both like things being interesting, but Jade seems to prefer seclusion and control, while Floyd enjoys scaring people off and having as much fun as he can before he goes.

Kalim is someone who has had multiple assassination attempts on his life, even from his own family. He masks behind a smile, but he's afraid to trust people, and when he DOES TRY to talk about it, it gets brushed off because he has money. Also, he has to deal with the fact Jamil has been undermining his ability to progress by not treating him as if he's capable at all.

Epel has been teased and bullied on how he looked to the point where he started instigating fights to ensure he wouldn't be teased. He also has to fall in line with what Vil wants because he made the error of picking a fight with Vil and getting his butt HANDED to him. To further add, Vil is NOT NICE about it when Epel resists, with one example being Vil grabbing him by the ear and pulling hard as a form of punishment.

Rook has deal with the fact that for being someone who is super perceptive and can notice details, he didn't realize Vil's feelings around Neige, likely because he was blinded by his own admiration for both of them and that's a bitter pill to swallow.

Ortho has to deal with being basically created as a replacement for dead Ortho Shroud, trying to figure out if he's just really a robot made by Idia with really good AI or more than that, and dealing with the fact he loves his brother so much, but his brother doesn't take care of himself and it's disheartening to watch Idia's self-destruction.

Lilia has so much war trauma, losing his loved ones, having been exiled, and so much other crap. Even so, he forced himself to put the war and his trauma about it in the past, where it belonged for the sake of his two sons who both lost so much to war, which is something Baur/Baul could NOT do which was to Sebek's detriment.

Silver has had to live with the idea that his adoptive father would likely outlive him, then is faced with the fact that his father is basically abandoning everything about their life in Briar Valley before he learns that his biological parents were the enemies of the person he serves and cares about, Malleus, and the only father he's ever known.

Sebek has grown up with internalized racism/speciesism against humans thanks to his upbringing and he basically rejects half of his heritage with how he treats his father. He does not even realize how hurtful his comments are until he's faced with those remarks being directed at him by a younger version of his grandfather.

And this isn't everything each student has to face. This is just broad strokes. Yana Toboso wrote a story about flawed people who all have gone through really hard and difficult things because that's the point. As Toboso said in a 2023 interview:

“Happy endings in Disney works come from righteous actions and love, but I believe that the villains are characters who do not get saved during the story. That is why, through this game, I want to portray the message that even if you get beat up all the way to a bad ending, you can grow from it and live your life without feeling discouraged.

Acting lame, obstinate, without hesitation, being open and honest—it’s not as bad as it sounds. 

I would like to paint a positive picture of living honestly with yourself and not worrying about others.

In today’s society there are so many people who live in fear of failure and are always walking on eggshells, but nobody’s flawless. It is exhausting to try to live your life so that no one will hate you.”

Everyone, even people you don't know or do not like, have gone through things that shaped who they are. Sometimes, how we've adapted to handle the bad things that happen will force us to hit rock bottom. But you don't have to die when you hit rock bottom.

You can have terrible things happen to you and have maladaptive strategies to handle your experiences, but you aren't stuck that way forever. You can learn how to change your habits, learn to be okay with yourself, and work at being better than you were the day before.

Human growth is not linear. It's a bunch of taking steps forward and backsliding and learning and making mistakes over and over again and accepting failure, not as a testament to your character, but as part of the process of growth... and that's something all the students have to learn, not just the Overblot boys. Because all of them, every single one, are handling their own personal issues, even if it isn't shoved right in our faces.

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i don't care if it's nazis, mormons, or a bunch of misguided autistic people. if anyone ever tries to tell you your soul is from another planet and you're actually part of the class of impressive people that secretly did everything cool in the world but is now extinct and lives on through your broken genome, you RUN. YOU WILL RUN AWAY. YOU WILL SPRINT FULL SPEED AWAY FROM THAT.

grabs you by the shoulders listen. listen to my words. i understand the urge to make fanfiction about yourself and to find a reality in which you're super awesome and great and everyone who hates you is wrong and dumb. i get it. you're better than that. you can love yourself without putting other people down, dehumanizing and generalizing, and retaliating against your oppressors.

there's no NPCs. there's no aliens coming to save us. we're not the next step in human evolution. our hyperconnected nervous systems give us terrible sensory overwhelm more often than they make us geniuses. neurotypical people are sentient, conscious, aware people who are capable of understanding you. we're more the same than we are different. we're more the same than we are different. we're more the same than we are different.

Also stay away from people who say shit like "sexual attraction and romance addles the mind and makes you crazy and irrational and this is why being aro/ace makes you intellectually superior." I've seen that a couple times times on this hellsite. Stay away from anyone who tries to convince you that your racial identity/cultural identity/gender identity/sexual orientation/neurodivergence/any other intrinsic quality makes you a member of some master race that is inherently superior to the other humans.

You are not immune to exceptionalist propaganda.

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My life continues to be disturbed by that Au.

Sharing a cigarette with him… he probably doesn’t really let you smoke that much, he wants you to have a nice long life- but there’s something romantic about sitting with you at the balcony, watching the trails of smoke wax and wane in the night sky.

Sometimes, he hides the lighter, if only to see you frown at him, pressing the very tip of your cigarette to his in the hopes of lighting yours up. Heh, it’s almost like a kiss, isn’t it?

ceru's not very subtle yearning for a certain guy on 4K

WRONG! It’s a targeted attack on @evilcokito for the man she is very clearly longing for 🫶

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