Foggy Nelson is haunting the narrative like a dead wife in an indie film

Killshot

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Interview with Killshot — The BB Report

Why try? (Part VII to Why me?)

azriel x rhys' sister! reader

angst/eventual comfort ( This one's a bit shorter, but I did try to jam-pack as much in here as possible so a lot does happen and we do have Azriel and the reader's official reunion and it goes just as well as you think it would!!)

Summary: When you walk in on Azriel and Elain the mating bond snaps leading you to flee to Autumn with Eris so you can be free of Azriel. Your absence causes Azriel to come to some drastic realisations, but is it already too late and has your time in Autumn led to you moving on?

Parts I, II, III, IV, V, and VI if you missed them!

-

The second you stepped through the floral arches of the Gardens of Velaris, you were immediately reminded of how much you had missed the Night Court while you were away. The Gardens of Velaris had been turned into a starlight-themed ball, flowers enchanted to twinkle like stars.

Before you could as so much as take it in, Feyre immediately spots you and runs up to you and brings you in to an all encompassing hug. Oh how you've missed your family.

Nesta followed immediately after and while she can be rather cold at times, this was not one of those times as she joined in on the hug. You knew Mor didn't join because you came with Eris and guilt settled in your stomach.

"We've missed you so much. Rhys hasn't been the same without you here he's been so grouchy lately." Feyre holds both of your hands in hers and excitedly rushes to tell you all about your family and while Nesta isn't as talkative, she also had her on quips about the time you were gone.

You looked at Eris while you're sisters in law whisked you away, and he gave you a nod signaling you to go with them. They led you to a table with a shimmering silver tablecloth covered with elaborate glass fountains of faerie wine. Arm in arm, the sisters took you down the table until you reached the last one. This one looked to be marble and in the shape of Ramiel with silver stars twinkling above it and next to it stood Mor and Amren. Mor with her signature smile, brown eyes lighting up in joy the second she sees you, and Amren with as much excitement as you could garner from them.

You immediately run into their arms. Mor squeezes you tight and Amren, much less enthusiastic begrudgingly allows you to hug her, you hadn't remembered the last time she had let you do something like this.

"I've missed you so much Mor." You had always been close to your cousin, she was a second sister to you when yours died and this was the longest you guys had been away from each other. You became overwhelmed from all the emotions, mostly good, of seeing your family again. Mor began to tear up and then Feyre began to tear up and seeing tears in both of their eyes made tears well up in your eyes and suddenly the three of you were crying in a group hug, dragging the other two into it.

Behind the fountain of wine stood Elain, skittish as a baby deer. You had months to get over her and Azriel besides she didn't know he was your mate. You harbour no ill will towards the Archeron sister and have actually missed the warmth of her company.

You look up at her, smile, and gesture for her to join in on the hug, "Elain bring it in." She meekishly approaches guilt and sorrow written across her features, "I would like to apologise for my actions. I would have never showed any interest in Azriel if I knew he was your mate. I can promise you that nothing serious happened-"

You cut her off before she could get the words out. "It's okay. Truly. I have missed you Elain." You tell her gently. Tears well up in her eyes and she joins in on the hug, as much of an emotional wreck as the rest of you.

You were trying to turn over a new leaf, one that is focused on you and not Azriel and to do that you had to let go of the bitterness you felt from the whole Azriel and Elain situation. Your anger and resentment that you held towards Azriel was not going to disappear soon, if ever, but you wouldn't blame Elain when she was just an innocent bystander to the trainwreck that is yours and Azriels mating bond.

Your guys' lovely bonding and crying session was ruined by a harsh gust of wind and a hard landing. You knew that sound anywhere that was the harsh landing of Illyrians. You could recognize the sound of Azriel, Cassian, and Rhys from a mile away. Their distinctive wingbeats and landing pattern, may be insignificant to most, but you could pinpoint exactly who landed and where.

-

Rhys has always acknowledged that Azriel possessed a certain lethal kind of brutality. It was the lethality of spies and assassins, the lethality of the shadows. The lethality that thrives in silence and creeps up on you, the kind that you won’t know it’s lethal until it’s too late. It’s the glass you’re holding all evening while laughing and dancing that you don’t realise is poisoned until you’re clutching at your throat hours later.

Azriel’s had always been brutal, he did torture people for a living, but his composure had always remained. His silence was the deafening kind. The silence of night, unseeing and terrifying because you never know where he is going to strike until your head is rolling on the floor and your body is on the ground.

Right now the Azriel that Rhys was currently fighting showed none of that. He was all sloppy movements and animalistic aggression, borderline growling at Rhys as he tries to get a hit on him. The mating bond had just snapped for Azriel he shouldn’t have provoked him, but Rhys was trying to get all the pent up energy out of him. He also was fuming at Azriel, but he didn’t need to know that part yet.

Azriel landed a particularly hard blow on Rhys’ nose. Blood sprayed, Cassians eyes widen and he knows if he doesn’t run interference now there wouldn’t be anything left of his friends to tear apart.

Hit after hit after hit. Scratch after scratch. Azriel was just going after Rhys and Rhys was matching him in aggression but he was being overpowered by feral edge that the mating bond gives Azriel.

Azriel was about to go for Rhys’ throat when Cassian caught his arm in mid-air. His siphons blazed crimson and he was using all of his strength to hold Azriel back.

“If you guys don’t stop fighting you’ll kill each other.” His features contorted in strain from using all his strength to keep Azriel at bay.

Before either Azriel or Rhys could even fire a retort back to Cassian they both stilled. Like a wolf perking its ears up when it hears a rabbit in the bushes.

“I need to get to her. She’s crying. Something’s wrong.” Azriel said with slight alarm.

Rhys must have felt it too because he had the same initial reaction. Winded from the fight, he says “It’s probably just the emotions from being reunited with her family. Feyre is crying too.”

Azriel was flooded with emotions from the bond and he didn’t know how to discern them from his own. His emotions are heightened and in turn so are his reactions.

“I will find whoever made her cry and make them pay.” He says with a grave finality, the spymaster going on a mission.

Cassian facepalms himself. “Oh brother let’s not be so dramatic now.”

Rhys scoffs, “No let’s not-“

Azriel takes off in a gust of wind that nearly knocks him down.

“-do that”

Rhys sighs and looks at Cassian with a look that says “can you believe this?” Cassian shrugs his shoulders,laughs, and goes “You were just as bad when the mating bond first snapped.”

“No I was not-”

Cassian is in the air, following after Azriel before Rhys could even finish.

Rhys then takes off after them mumbling to himself. “How dare they leave their high lord. Beron would have had them fed to his fire hamsters for that or whatever Autumn Court beasts he has. Eris is close enough-”

-

You look up expecting to see all three of them in their most regal finery as esteemed members of this Court, but are instead met with the bloodied Illyrian warriors that looked like they had come back from war.

What in the world? For Cauldron's sake, why couldn't they go through one major court event without something calamitous happening? The only one relatively unscathed was Cassian, the other two were much worse for wear. Blood and dirt caked Azriel's brow and Rhysand sported a black eye. Their previous finery had been torn away and shredded. Their arms were bear and littered with smaller cuts and slashes that were quickly healing.

You had come up this whole plan on how to avoid Azriel by busying yourself with everyone else and just never nearing him or meeting his gaze. You didn't even have a chance to avoid Azriel's gaze because he immediately rushed up to you, cupping your face in his scarred hands and surveying you and then everyone else for any risk of damage. "Are you alright? I heard you crying. Is everything okay?" He looks at you frantic, his hazel eyes drowning in worry that he has no right to feel.

You were about to pull away, fighting the urge to melt into his touch and to be repulsed by his audacity, when Rhys yanked him back by the back of the collar like a dog that needs to be leashed. "Know your place shadowsinger she doesn't talk to anyone else before she talks to her dashing brother." He gives you a smug smile as he spins you around in an all encompassing hug.

Even if you both didn't act like it at times you dearly loved your brother. Even before he was your only family left, you guys had always been close and keeping your distance these past few months was so immensely difficult because at the end of the day Rhys is your family.

After a minute or two Cassian jumped in on your guys' hug. "MY TURN!" The Illyrian warrior had substantially overestimated his size and brought you two down with him. You missed these idiots.

Azriel stood there almost nervously, shadows swirling around like storm clouds circling him. You know it would be weird if you give him the cold shoulder when you had greeted everyone, including Elain, so warmly.

You get up off the floor, leaving Rhys and Cassian to argue who's fault it was that you guys ended up there. You slowly approach the shadowsinger, he lets you come to him as if you were a stray cat and he was a small child on the side of the road trying to take you home.

"Hello." You say, polite, but not giving him much to work with. You had a million things you wanted to say at him and a million more you wanted to yell at him. He's a spymaster he has obviously noticed the shift in your dynamic and the changes in you. Let's just leave it at this and move forward civilly. This should be easy, Azriel has never been one to initiate physical contact anyways, he'll just leave you be and go continue hiding and brooding which is fine as you wont have to deal with him.

His shadows pick up their speed and begin rapidly swirling. His eyes fill with an emotion you can’t quite place and like he did before he rushes up to you. Unlike Rhys and Cassians’ hugs that felt like a burst of excitement this one felt like relief. The moment of peace after the storm in which you see why it was all worth it.

Azriel held on to you like his life depended on it. His arms were a lifeline when you didn’t even know you were drowning. One arm wrapped snugly around your waist and the other over your shoulders while he held your head into his chest his thumb stroking your hair.

For a few seconds you let the world fall away and all you knew is how much you cared for one another. At the very core of you and Azriel’s connection is that deep rooted care for each another and that would take a lot more than a conflict to change. You have never been this upset with him in your life but you know that if anything was to ever happen to him a part of you would be forever lost.

The way he was holding you was so unlike Azriel. He was holding you tighter and in a way that was much more…intimate? Physical contact was never Azriel’s specialty so why is he doing this now?

You snapped out of it and immediately jumped away schooling your features into a mask of neutrality. He is still holding on to you as you make your sad attempt of pulling away. In a voice as low as a whisper, attempting to hide your words from the prying ears of the fae you tell him,“ I hear congratulations are in order. Three brothers for three sisters it's good to hear your sticking it to the Mother's lack of continuity."

You're hurt, but joking about it is the best way you could put him in a neutral zone the quickest and draw the lines as they stand. You don't believe in love triangles they're your least favorite trope because there is always the odd one out getting hurt and right now it's you.

Even though you already knew from what Elain had said earlier that it didn't work out between them and Lucien had also talked about Elain being on the fence about deciding to give him a chance, you wanted to take a jab at Azriel. Was it petty and a low blow? Yes, but what could people expect from you? You are Rhys' sister.

He looks shocked at first then straightens up. "That was the past. I have learned the consequences of forsaking the Mother. Right now, my focus lies elsewhere." His gaze burns in your soul and his tone carries the reverence of a speech. He sounded as if he were swearing an oath.

You scoff, "We'll you have been forsaking a lot recently." His eyes darken and he stares you down, "How would you know what I've been doing lately? You left without even as much as a notice or explanation and you've written to everyone except for me."

You hear the pain and frustration in his voice and you can't bring yourself to care. You provoked him, but you were so angry and so tired and you wanted him to hurt the way you did that you just keep going.

Your brows furrow and your eyes cut into him. "Well, you wouldn't have even noticed my absence if it wasn't for your shadows. Is my presence so insignificant to you that you can't notice that something is wrong until your spies tell you. For such a revered spymaster I am struggling to comprehend how your skills only fall short when I'm involved."

Your tone is ice and your words are fire. You just wanted to keep going and going and going throwing stone after stone.

He looks frantic, Azriel has never been good at verbalizing his feelings and you knew that. His head was in a tailspin and he didn’t know how to respond.

He begins to speak so slowly, as if he was physically struggling to get the words out. “That’s because you’re different from everyone else. I actually care what you think.” His eyes held a silent plea, a sight you would have done anything in your power to prevent months ago, but right now you’re too far gone to deal with his half assed attempts at caring for you.

“Oh for cauldrons sake you-“ You couldn’t finish your sentence because your feet are off suddenly lifted from the ground. Your thrown over a shoulder and marched off.

“Did anyone ever tell you it’s a party foul to start an intense emotionally charged argument at a ball in your honor?” Rhys is every bit of smug and annoying as he was as a child. As you’re trying to get out of his grasp he starts to spin you. You throw yourself forward and throw him to the ground with you not wanting to hear a Rhys lecture.

Cassian was running interference on Azriel seemingly inspired by Rhys’ tactics. He was trying to pick up Azriel and Azriel was not having it. “Get away from me.” Cassian was not getting away from Azriel. He smacks Cassian’s hand away. Cassian smacks his hand back and they start a slap fight.

Eris and Lucien walk in holding two drinks each and look to see the high lord and princess on the floor while the general and spymaster are in a toddler level slap fight. This was the feared Nigjt Court that they were supposed to be visiting?

Eris downs one glass. Then another and makes both disappear. He then grabs the second glass out of Lucien’s hand and clinks their glasses together before taking a sip of the third one.

Lucien downs his glass and then takes Eris’ glass and promptly downs that too. This was going to be a rough couple of months.

“Petulant children all of you.” Eris said with disdain as he smacks his arm around Lucien’s shoulder and turns them around right back to the party and away from all this Night Court commotion.

-

Note: This is a bit of a shorter chapter but hey we got their official reunion. Az cannot read the room but hey it makes for great entertainment! Things will begin picking up especially w all the current turmoil. Again thank you for all the support I hope you guys like where the story is going so far and until next time my lovelies

Note note: if I say I edited this I would be lying…

Taglist: @alimarie1105@chaosabroad@bbontenswhhore@tele86@ashblooddragons@circe143@i-am-infinite@princesssunderworld@thestartitaness@tiffany-xx@cpfantasybooks @lucia-valentinaa@jennigsonl@ivy-34@firefly-forest@k-homosapien@coeurdeveea@cherryjain17@bckynatt@becstersworld@rcarbo1@gojospearlycim@atluky@juliebluehufflepuff@willowpains@abadfantasybook@neverendingstay@hellohauntedturnstudent@highladyofhogwarts@littowl@iluvyewman-blog@lunaticpotatoe @justlivinginadaydream @julesiebean @shylahstarzz @olive-main @lreadsstuff @noonenuts @sourapplex @aquellaspequenascosas @anuttellaa @honethatty12 @moonlwghts

Forgive me father, for I have sinned

Matt Murdock X F!Reader

A/n: hello! It’s been a while since I’ve posted, and it’s been even longer since it’s been a marvel fic, this is just Matt being a slut if I’m honest

Warnings: smuuuuut, mentions of bodily injuries, mentions of blood, mentions of death

by any means necessary

pairing: matt murdock x fem!reader

summary: matt finds out who's pulling the strings at s.h.i.e.l.d.

warnings: swearing, mentions of blood and violence

word count: 2.9k

a/n: it wouldn't be a marvel series without a cameo. ;) as always, feedback is welcomed/appreciated!

[previous chapter] | [next chapter coming 4/18] | [series masterlist]

When Matt regained consciousness, he could feel the intensity of his blood pumping through his vessels too violently, causing an incessant throbbing on the side of his skull. With a quiet groan, he lifted his hand to tenderly touch the source of the pain, grimacing at the soreness. He felt a little off equilibrium, but as he fully woke up, he realized he was in a room he didn’t recognize.

He also realized his cowl was gone. 

And so was his suit.

She's still tied to me

Summary: On a mission to the continent Azriel finds his mate - his mate who died five hundred years prior. He has no intention of losing her again.

Warnings: description of injury and death, description of grief, mentions of vomit (nothing graphic)

---------------------------

“It’s her, Rhys”.

He doesn’t know how his voice comes out steady, how he’s still standing and hasn’t collapsed. He isn't entirely sure he hasn't as the room moves around him. He doesn’t remember the flight there or the flight back, doesn’t remember screaming for Rhys, practically overturning the townhouse in his attempt to find him. He just remembers her, seeing her alive. Seeing her moving and smiling and talking and utterly unaware of him and alive. It had taken everything in him, every single piece of training he had ever received, to not go to her. To recognise that she was in the castle grounds of a King he had no knowledge of other than how quickly he had begun to take over neighbouring territories, that the guards around her watched her every move as if she may disappear at any moment, that the man she walked with was twice Azriel's size and carrying a sword to match. However much he wanted to ignore any logical reasoning, he couldn't do this on his own. He knew he needed his brother, her brother, with him. He looks at Rhys now, knows he looks a mess. He feels like his heart is in his throat, pushing the air out of his lungs faster than he can keep up with, his breaths coming out in pants. He was going to vomit.

“Az…”, Rhysand’s voice is less steady, his skin had been pale ever since he’d looked inside Azriel’s head, grief clear on his face as well as doubt. Behind him Feyre’s gaze flickers between her mate and her friend, pity clear in her eyes.

“No, don't. You’ve seen what I saw! It- it's her!” Now his voice breaks and he hates it, hates how it undermines his conviction, makes it sound like he isn’t sure. Because he is, even without the bond his body had called to her. He had had to wrestle his shadows into submission to stop them from going to her like they once would. It took everything in him to not drop down in front of her, to not hold her or touch her or talk to her. He had begun to think that after all these centuries he was forgetting her, but watching her had it all flooding back and he ached to be familiar with her again.

“I know what you think you saw brother”, Rhys’ composure has somewhat returned, the High Lord diplomatically placing a hand on Azriel’s shoulder, speaking to him like a child that needs placating. Azriel shrugs off his hand and takes a step back.

“I don’t think I saw anything – I know I did", he spits out with a venom he knows is undeserved. "You think I wouldn’t recognise my own mate? Tell me brother, is there a world in which you wouldn’t know Feyre?” He cant keep the anger or the hurt out of his voice. He knows he’s not being logical. He feels feral and half lucid, like something in the back of his mind is pulling away from the conversation, away from him, and back to her. Rhys’s gaze moves to his mate, then back to him, and whilst he still seems sceptical Azriel can tell he’s getting through. The thought laces him with an excitement that feels like lightening has struck him.

“We saw her body Az.” Azriel once again feels as though he’s going to throw up, images of her body, cold and pale and bloodied, her wings ripped from her back, swim across his vision and he closes his eyes in a poor attempt to rid them. “It could be a trick”.

Azriel can’t even consider this – recklessly doesn’t even want to. “I don’t care Rhys, I’m going back.”

Rhys nods, completely unsurprised and turns to his mate. Moments pass as they look at each other, and the usual annoyance Azriel feels when they do this, the usual ache he feels whenever he sees his brothers get to interact with their mates, isn’t there. Instead, as he rocks on his feet anxiously awaiting his brother’s response, all he can feel is his shadows roiling around him, just as eager as him to leave. His usual stoicism has been left behind on the continent, as has all of his composure. Rhys turns back to him with a look of determination and says “Cassian’s on his way, we leave when he gets here”, and for the first time in five hundred years the grief in Azriel’s chest has alleviated. For the first time in his life, he feels like has a chance at reclaiming what he’s lost.

Why her? (Part V to Why me?)

azriel x rhys' sister! reader

angst/eventual comfort ( I mean did you guys really thing I would let them have a smooth reunion? cackles maniacally in the background**)

Summary: When you walk in on Azriel and Elain the mating bond snaps leading you to flee to Autumn with Eris so you can be free of Azriel. Your absence causes Azriel to come to some drastic realisations, but is it already too late and has your time in Autumn led to you moving on?

Parts I, II, III, and IV if you missed them!

-

You were a fool for thinking that Rhys would allow you to discretely come back to the Night Court after being away for so long and even more a fool for thinking that he wouldn't find any excuse to throw a party. The details of your mission had been classified so Rhys couldn't exactly disclose that it was a welcome home party for you, but no one in their right mind will question the reasoning behind a Night Court ball.

Rhys' extravagance extended to his parties and they were some of the most revered in Prythian. Even Beron, the grumpiest high lord who hates anything to do with fun or laugher, would look forward to attending, dragging his gaggle of deplorable children along.

You're going to attend the Ball with Lucien and Eris and then stay in the Night Court, marking the end of your time in Autumn. Autumn has always been a place of change. The leaves of trees are always flickering between shades of red, orange, and brown some falling and some staying without being enticed by the prospect of winter of winter.

You do have to say the eternal Autumn does live up to it's namesake. In just 3 short months you've been changed, well not physically, but the way you think about yourself and how you go about the world. You would have to find some way to thank Eris for that. You did the work, but he pushed you to start and showed you the way and in return you hope you had taught him how to not be so unbearably uptight all the time.

You would miss your friend, Rhysand would never forgive you for thinking this, but he reminds you of Rhys in a way. You smile at the thought of your brother's reaction to this accusation. He would huff and cross his arms, immediately disagreeing with you. You know Eris would do something similar. He will make a good high lord.

You continue to get ready for the ball, ditching your normal colour palette of blues and purples for a Night Court black dress with gold adornments along the bodice. You had to pay homage to your time in Autumn, but you are still Night Court. The way the gold snakes around reminded you of golden vines rather than the shadow-like designs you've been accustomed to.

You were related to Rhys and Mor, it was in your blood to go over the top with these kind of things. It was Eris' idea to add leafs to the golden vines to the dress and also Eris' idea to match his suit to your dress. Lucien thought that the gold and black designs were way too much for him, but you were able to convince him into wearing the matching cuff links. You knew what kind of message that you and Eris matching would sent to the courts and to a certain spymaster, but you couldn't bring yourself to care. If you wanted to match with Eris so be it who cares what they think?

Your thoughts begin to stray back to a certain spymaster, it had been 3 months since you'd last seen him and 3 months since you had found out that you guys were mates. The mating bond had become nothing more than a dull feeling in your chest and you don't even think you could tug on it if you wanted to. That is how far removed you had become from the bond, how far you have become removed from Azriel.

Azriel. You were still trying to decide how you would deal with him. Right now, you are leaning towards being polite to him when you see him and then dancing and talking with everyone else all evening in order to avoid his presence. You decided to not give him the amount of your attention that he has become accustomed to. You will set your sights on connecting with your family and friends; he, of course, will be included in that but only on a polite, friendly level and not on the all-consuming level of a mate.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door. Eris walks in with a hand behind his back. His face is nuetral, but his eyes are almost solemn. He begins to speak, "It has been a long time since I've had the pleasure of being around decent company." Eris is not a sentimental person, so you understand that even this much is a lot for him.

He approaches you and his hand comes out from behind his back to reveal a gold necklace. It was a simple necklace with a gold chain and a small pendant on the end with a fox sitting on a moon engraved in it. He delicately places the necklace in your hand.

You smile up at him, "Thank you, Eris, I love it." You walk up to him and look in his eyes, the enemy of the Night Court that was somehow your saviour in this dark tie. You don't know how you repay him. You wrap your arms around him in an embrace and he freezes. He must not have hugged someone in a while because he immediately stiffed and then put his arms around you. If anyone saw this they would assume that this is proof that Eris Vanserra had a heart and that he needed to learn how to hug because it looked like you were holding him hostage.

Nevertheless, you got excited, he had never let you hug him before. He sighs, "You know you could just stay here, who else is going to look after the foxes." You thought back to the first day, you arrived in Autumn a complete and utter mess and in your drunken stupor had dragged along Lucien and domesticated a whole family of foxes. You had come a long way since then, when the fate of yours and Azriel's mating bond had been the only thing on your mind and the world felt tilted on it's axis.

Eris' voice interrupts your thoughts, "Who else am I going to terrorise on the daily?" You chuckle, "You will always have Lucien."

He lets out an exasperated sigh, "He's been much too boring lately. He doesn't appreciate my schemes." You let out an immediate retort, "Your brother doesn't want you to make an enemy of every court? What a pity." In all his spitefulness and maliciousness, Eris had been your rock lately and you don't know what you are going to do without at least a little bit of his mischief in your life.

Your eye strays to the window, and you look outside and see the trees swaying in the wind. The scene almost reminds you of a painting with Autumn leaves swaying in the breeze against the backdrop of a golden sunset. You had always believed the Night Court to be the most captivating of all the courts, you believed that nothing could rival the beauty of the stars that danced across the Night Court sky, but the golden Autumn sunset had you rethinking your decision. There was something about the warm, enticing glow of the Autumn Court sunset that had made you forget about the beauty of the Night sky that you had loved for so many years, but sunsets were fleeting and as soon as you began to appreciate the moment the sun had disappeared below the horizon it was over.

Sun disappearing below the horizon? By the Cauldron you were running late to the ball. You jump away from Eris and run to put on your shoes, "Loving this bonding moment we're having here, but we are running late and my brother will literally come here and drag me to the ball if we don't leave immediately."

He laughs and lets out a sarcastic, "Your command is my wish, Your Royal Highness of the Court of Night. Or is that not regal enough? Your divine goddessness-"

Yo roll your eyes and laugh. "Oh my god shut up Eris lets go." He drops into a dramatic bow and holds his hand out. You know he's trying to distract you from thoughts of Azriel, and you appreciate the effort.

He looks at you with sincere eyes, "You ready?" You answer right away, scared that if you give yourself a minute to sit and contemplate you're going to change your mind and run away like you did to Autumn. You nod, softly you say, "Ready as I'll ever be."

With that you take his hand and the world falls away as you begin to travel to the Night Court.

-

Azriel's a nervous wreck. He may be dressed for a ball, his usual leathers traded for ball attire. Azriel has never been one for especially opulent attire, Rhys has always been the most fashionable out of the three brothers, but he really wanted to look good for your guys' reunion. He had actually asked Mor and Rhys for outfit advice, which had left both of them speechless due to how out of character it was.

They dressed him in an elevated Spymaster's uniform, which was more flair than practicality. His tunic was much too tailored to be for fighting, and the cobalt cufflinks and designs would not help with blending in to the shadows. A useless outfit for spying or attending to any spymaster business, but a perfect outfit for a Night Court ball.

Mor and Rhys made him shave, get a haircut, even made him use this enchanted eye cream to get minimise the dark circles that were permanently etched on his face from all the sleepless nights in your absence. Mother knows how excited he was to see you. He had barely thought of anything else since he was told of your arrival and has thought of a thousand different scenarios of how your reunion will go. The last one involved you running into his arms and him happily spinning you around.

The remnants of your scent still linger in your room. Azriel would know, considering he's basically moved into it, but it's not enough anymore. Azriel needs more.

He's been pacing for nearly an hour, Cassian had become dizzy from watching him go back and forth for so long. "Brother, you are worried for nothing. You will see her and all will be well again." Cassian tries to assure him.

Azriel responds by walking over the counter and pouring a glass of whiskey. He stopped when it was about three-quarters of the way full. "Brother, I implore you to think about your decision." Azriel walks the glass over to him and Cassian gives him a smile. "See I'm proud of you, you made the right decision."

Azriel gives a small smile back and walks over to the counter. He then grabs the bottle of whiskey off the counter and presses it to his lips, beginning to chug the remnants. Cassian jumps up and runs to him yelling, "NO-"

The bottle was already finished by the time Cassian got to him. Sulking, he sat down and began to drink his own glass, scared that Azriel might come over there and down it too.

The sun was beginning to set over the horizon, which means the ball was starting soon. Azriel felt as though he couldn't breathe. He was a mix of excitement, nerves, and fear. His chest felt heavy in a way that he has never felt before and he half-contemplated jumping out the window and flying away and never coming back.

It was rare that Azriel would be the one freaking out and Cassian would be the one calming him down but here he was. His brother came over slapped an arm over his shoulder and was grinning at him. "You ready for what could possibly be the greatest evening of your life brother?" The way that Cassian was looking at him and the knowledge that you were going to be there made him almost believe that it could be.

-

You arrive to the gardens of Velaris, the site of the ball, with Eris in tow. To absolutely zero surprise, Rhys had spared no expense for this party. Fae lights swirled around the trees and plans lighting up the gardens while mage lights floated throughout the grounds lighting up in a variety of colours. The garden was illuminated in a way that made all the flowers glow, which was only enhanced by the full moon lighting up the sky. All in all it was the perfect welcome to the Night Court.

-

Azriel has never believed in fate, the idea of an entity controlling his destiny never sat well with him, he believes that he is the one in control of everything he does. He wakes up at the time he chooses, goes to the places he wishes, and will do what he wants. Azriel believes that fate is an excuse for those who fear action. The idea that fate will one day bring to you what you need, so why bother working for it had always bothered him to such a high degree. Azriel believes that he is the master of his fate.

If he is the master of his fate, why are his shadows screaming at him to follow them? Why is he feeling a physical pain in his chest from resisting the pull of his shadows? His shadows had only ever informed, but now they are commanding. They are a part of him and he is meant to have control over them, it's not supposed to be the other way around.

Their whispers had turned into screams and now the shadows were roaring at him to go.

Go where?

GO

They say in unison. He takes a deep breath and tries to hone in on the where the shadows are trying to take him. The world becomes too loud, too bright, too overwhelming and he falls into the pocket of world that only he knows, the one where darkness is a comfort and shadow reigns supreme. The realm of shadow is both a veil and a comfort and under the light of the full moon, he closes his eyes and becomes one with the night.

He is led by pure instinct, letting the shadows carry him through the ever-surrounding darkness of the night. He doesn't know where he is going, but he knows that he needs to be there. Where there is he doesn't fully know yet, but he knows what there feels like. He feels like he's walking towards a comforting light.

He remembers a time in the Illyrian mountains when he was caught in a snowstorm. Devlon said the treacherous conditions didn't matter and made him continue to train his shadowsinger abilities. He took him up the mountain and when they were done with training, Devlon had an evil smile and had wished Azriel luck and winnowed back to camp without him. 12 year Azriel didn't know how to winnow yet, and he was left on the mountain by himself in the midst of a raging blizzard.

The conditions were some of the worst that Azriel had ever seen and he had no idea where he was. He was still learning how to fly, his late start due to his father, and he had no idea how to navigate back to your guys' home. He took a deep breath and imagined what he would come back to once he got home, and everything that he would lose if he didn't make it back alive.

He closed his eyes and began to fly as best he could. He thought of his your mother making everyone hot chocolate, like she always would on a stormy winter day. He thought of Cassian and Rhys fighting over the chair that was closest to the fire. He thought of you. You who would likely be sitting in your guys' spot, pretending to read your book while constantly looking at the door to see if he made it home safe. You with your warm smile and bright eyes, who would refuse to take your cup of hot chocolate Azriel was right in front of him.

He could see the scene as clear as day and feel the warmth and comfort of the cabin. Azriel didn't know how. He just felt it. He followed that feeling of comfort. He refused to die in this storm. He refused to leave you worrying about his whereabouts any longer. He flew and flew - the ice was freezing his wings, and the wind had increased the coldness tenfold. All he could see was white and all he could hear was the howling of the wind, but he kept going forward until he hit a wall.

Not a wall, but a door. He opened the door to see the exact scene he was seeing in his head. The scene that led him here. He had no idea how he got here with no visibility or sign of where he was going.

Rhys' mom had ran to him before anyone else could. His ears and wings had been covered in frostbite, and she immediately threw him into a warm bath. Once he got out, he went to the living room and saw 3 worried faces looking at him. Cassian and Rhys froze mid fight over the chair and you looked up from your upside-down book. He grabbed one of the four hot chocolates on the counter and sat next to you. He finally let out a sigh of relief. You had handed him a blanket and he finally felt at peace. Just the simple act of having you next to him had helped comfort him from all he endured that day.

That's how Azriel was feeling right now. Like he was flying through that storm again towards that feeling of comfort. Towards that feeling of home. He didn't know where his shadows were leading him at first, but now he has a good idea.

He gets out of the realm of the shadows and the first thing he sees is your back. You’re standing next to Eris at one of the entrances of the gardens of Velaris.

He’s hiding behind one of the hedges, contemplating if should go up to you right now or wait until you’re inside when you turn around.

He knows you had always been beautiful, but standing here in front of him with the backdrop of the fae lights and under the glow of the full moon you looked downright ethereal. His heart stopped and his breath caught. It felt like the ground beneath him gave out.

He took a deep breath and it was your scent that had permeated through the air and he felt it all. The feeling of comfort. The feeling of home.

He felt it snap and the world as he knew it came crumbling down.

Mother almighty you were his mate.

-

note: This chapter had gone very different than I originally planned, but it spoke to me and this is what demanded to be written besides who doesn't love a good cliffhanger. I do hope it doesn't feel rushed, but I feel like Azriel needs to suffer the way the reader did. Now he's dealing with a fresh mating bond and she's the one who's indifferent and he has to try to act normal and you know Eris won't make it easy for her. The next chapter is going to be complete chaos and I can't wait to see you all next time for it, until next time loves <3

note note: I may have lied about the whole editing thing, I'll go back and fix all the chapters...eventually...

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Part 7: The Shadowsinger and The Lost Princess

Note: This chapter runs approximately 6k words and primarily follows Azriel's perspective. His viewpoint tends to be more introspective and serious compared to our female protagonist's lighter, more humorous tone.

Azriel x f!reader

Genre: fated mates, rom-com, crack humor, eventual angst, eventual smut

Summary: Azriel never expected to finally meet his mate and to be… this.

A walking disaster with a talent for tripping over air, an uncanny ability to charm even the grumpiest Illyrian, and a knack for throwing herself headfirst into situations that require his immediate intervention.

She is warmth where he is shadow, laughter where he is silence. And worst of all? She makes him smile without trying.

Azriel, Are you Okay? - Masterlist

Azriel slipped through your apartment window with practiced silence, the pre-dawn chill clinging to his Illyrian leathers. Your sleeping form remained undisturbed, face finally peaceful after hours of fitful dreams.

She glows in moonlight, his shadows cooed, curling protectively around his scarred hands like living ink. Our heart. Our starlight.

Part 6: The Mother Strikes Again

Azriel x f!reader

Genre: fated mates, rom-com, crack humor, eventual angst, eventual smut

Summary: Azriel never expected to finally meet his mate and to be… this.

A walking disaster with a talent for tripping over air, an uncanny ability to charm even the grumpiest Illyrian, and a knack for throwing herself headfirst into situations that require his immediate intervention.

She is warmth where he is shadow, laughter where he is silence. And worst of all? She makes him smile without trying.

Azriel, Are you Okay? - Masterlist

You couldn’t breathe.

Not because the River House was crowded—it wasn’t.

Not because the dress Lira had forced you into was too tight—it wasn’t.

But because you had just locked eyes with Azriel across the room, and something in his gaze had short-circuited your brain like a squirrel gnawed through the emotional wiring.

Irish Coffee (ft. Donald Ressler)

Donald Ressler x Reader (she/her pronouns)

Warnings: Alcohol, drunk misogynists, protective!Ressler, no mention of Elizabeth Keen, mention of slight age gap (no specific ages or distance in ages mentioned)

Summary: You and the team go out for drinks at a local whiskey bar, and the whole night Ressler is your knight in - a shining black suit?

A/N: I am aware how late I am writing fanfic for The Blacklist, but you know what? I won’t apologize and I will go down with this ship.  

The bar was nestled in between two larger restaurants, and had a cozy, old-fashioned feel to it.  You had walked by it one day and mentioned it to the squad, asking if anyone had heard of it or had any recommendations they preferred nearby.  Weirdly enough - out of all of them - (or perhaps not so weirdly), Aram actually knew the place you were talking about.

“Oh, they’re supposed to be a good, classic whiskey bar.  Not really my thing, but it’s not all they serve so I’ve been there a couple times.” He had said at the time, nervously glancing at Agent Navabi as he did so.

Keep reading

Why you? (Part IV to Why me?)

azriel x rhys' sister! reader

angst/eventual comfort (Now Azriel is in his healing era, don't worry he does suffer in this chapter so prepare for the azriel angst. You can't be in a healthy relationship when you are mentally at your worst and lashing out at everyone around you and Azriel is learning this the hard way.)

Summary: When you walk in on Azriel and Elain the mating bond snaps leading you to flee to Autumn with Eris so you can be free of Azriel. Your absence causes Azriel to come to some drastic realisations, but is it already too late and has your time in Autumn led to you moving on?

Parts I, II, and III if you missed them!

-

They say that misery breeds loneliness, or was it misery likes company, either way Azriel couldn't remember how it went but he knew he felt miserable and alone.

You were gone and Rhys had banned him from seeing Elain, even though it didn't matter. He couldn't even look at her without feeling crushing guilt. Guilt for considering killing your friend for the sole reason of him wanting to fight for his mate, which any honorable fae male would have done. Guilt for possibly driving you out from the Night Court. Guilt for dragging Elain into this and then ignoring her.

To say that Azriel has been a mess would be an understatement. After needing to sleep in your bed to calm himself down the night you left, he hasn't had a decent night's sleep. At this point, his dark circles had dark circles, he hadn't shaved, and he has basically been on autopilot for the past 3 months.

Him and Rhys hadn't been on good terms for the first month, but he came around and apologised for the way he spoke to him. They were civil, but Azriel didn't know how he could be close with him again after what he said. If you were there you would have played the peacekeeper, telling him what to say and scolding Rhys for his lack of sensitivity. He thinks about you more than he would care to admit, which is saying something because he's been admitting it a lot lately.

The first 2 weeks were so rough for Azriel that he threw himself into his work, not talking to anyone and even missing his training which he can't recall having ever done. He walked into the training ring and first thing Cassian did when he saw him for the first time since the night you left was laugh and say, "Oh brother, you look a bit rough for wear. You have obviously had better days."

Azriel didn't say anything. His face was set in the same straight-faced look that he had been wearing every day. He just walked up to Cassian and began fighting him. You would think that missing 2 weeks of training out of the hundreds of years wouldn't make a difference, but he had lost every single sparring match between him and Cassian. You would have loved to see it, you probably would have been on the sidelines laughing saying that Azriel needed to be humbled with his snowball fight record. His thoughts strayed to you and he was immediately snapped out of it by Cassian landing a blow on his right jaw sending Azriel to the ground."

"You seem distracted brother. I am always here if you want to talk." He holds his hand out as a truce, but Azriel doesn't take it. He was upset and in pain and feeling a flurry of emotions that he didn't know how to deal with. He picked himself up and told Cassian, "I appreciate it brother, but I don't need you or Nesta or Rhys trying to fix me." Granted he realised he was being a bit dramatic, but his adrenaline was high and didn't know how to deal with what he was feeling, let alone what he was feeling.

Azriel turns his back on Cassian, beginning to storm off from the training ring. "You think she would want you to suffer in Silence? To keep hurting everyone else because you're trying to outrun your problems? " Azriel stilled. "If she cared enough, she wouldn't have left. Why should I care about myself when she is so repulsed by me that she would prefer an enemy of the Night Court's company over mine?" His voice was ice that sending shivers down Cassians spine, this was the feared Spymaster of the Night Court speaking, not his brother.

"For someone who's job it is to collect information, you truly do not know anything." Cassian shook his head and took off into the sky before Azriel could say anything.

Great now that's two of his brother's that he's not on great terms with. Things with Cassian continued to be tense and since he was also on Rocky grounds with Rhys, things had become a bit awkward with Feyre and Nesta. Yes they were polite and would invite him to things and he would still have his weekly coffee with Nesta, but things were a lot more tense since they couldn't even bring up their mates.

No one in the inner circle would bring you up, not to Azriel at least. He knew they talked about you and Azriel, both in friendly hangouts he wasn't invited to and the family dinners that he had been dodging. He knew that they probably had a lot to say when the insomnia had gotten so bad that he needed to take residence in your room. He doesn't know the exact details because the shadows have been withholding information from him too. Just what he needed another person who had an issue with him, this one actually being part of him.

At this point he was on the best terms with Amren which actually started an unlikely friendship. He must have looked so pathetic for Amren to invite him over for tea. It started with talks of the prison, which then led to the inner circle, which then led to inner workings of the Night Court. Tea with Amren became a normal ordeal, she didn't treat him differently and was the same blunt Amren she's always been. It was a good distraction.

He wore the gloves you had gifted him regularly, even if his hands weren't bothering him, he liked the sense of comfort he felt when he wore them. He still felt a mix of emotions when he thinks about your departure, he's angry with you for leaving him here like this, sad because he feels like you have given up on him, and most of all feeling like he's an idiot because all he wants is for you to come home. To come back to him.

Rhys had assigned him on his first mission, a recon mission in the Dawn Court. Azriel had begged to go to the Autumn Court, to at least check on you and make sure you're okay, but Rhys immediately shut him down every time. It's a two week long mission and he was ready to go. The blade you gave him for Solstice had been left in your desk, since Azriel moved to your room. It was too special to him to risk damaging it, so he left it there but he feels like he wouldn't be doing your gift justice if he didn't wear it on his mission.

At this point it had been about 6 weeks without you. He took the blade from the sheath you had also had made for him and inspected it. The silver metal shone in the sunlight, and the blade was the thinnest and sharpest he had ever seen. Outside the silver edge of the blade there was a clear outlining that went all the way around the edges of the blade. He assumed this was the blood bind, so Azriel took the blade and sliced his left hand. The blood weld and the blade absorbed it, the clear lining turned red with blood and once it had decided that was enough blood spilled to activate the blood bond, the red turned into a shimmering black.

Azriel admired and then sheathed the blade. He turned and looked at himself in the mirror and almost jumped at the sight. He truly did look terrible, the beauty of the blade you had crafted for him a contrast over his current ragged state. Your blade. That you had made for him.

Azriel knew he hadn't been the greatest friend lately. He skipped the things you guys would usually do to try and get to know Elain better, his reasoning being you guys have already spent so much time together and would have so much more. He wishes he could go back in time and deck himself for even thinking that. He misses your coffee runs. He misses pranking Rhys with you. He misses laughing with you at Cassian being well Cassian. He misses your laugh.

He doesn't even need you there, he would take whatever small part of you he can and would happily thank the Mother for even allowing him that small respite. He's coming to realise that in the midst of his cruel and miserable existence, you had been the one ray of light in his life and that when the Mother decides that it's his time and he's nothing more than stardust scattered across the universe or the Mother decides to take her revenge for the sins he's committed in this life that it's the sound of your laugh that would carry him away. If the Mother was good she would allow him the luxury of scattering you with him, but ashes are plentiful and he only needs a single ember.

In the silence of your room, haunted by the ghost of your absence Azriel breaks. Tears stream down his face for the second time in this very spot and realizes that something needs to change, that he needs to change.

When Azriel returns from his mission, he knocks on Cassian's door. Cassian opens the door, his face is straight and devoid of his usual smile. "Are you finally ready to talk or am I going to have to kick your ass again and watch you storm off and brood some more." Azriel begins to feel shy, it is not a feeling that is common to him nor one he likes. This was already very hard for him, but he also forgot that Cassian was Cassian and he wouldn't allow him to walk in like nothing happened. Azriel knods and looks at Cassian with determination in his eyes, "I'm ready." Cassian matches his seriousness and then breaks down in laughter and brings Azriel into a bone-crushing hug. "I'VE MISSED YOU BROTHER." Azriel normally would have tried to get out of it, but he needed this.

Azriel sat down and told Cassian his problems. All of them. They started mid-day and didn't end until passed out after sunrise. He told him about feeling worthless and left out. He told him about you and how he doesn't know what he did or how to fix it but does know he's going insane like this. He talked about Rhys and how that whole situation had really affected him, Cassian had no idea and was so upset that he left for an hour or two and came back bloodied. 15 minutes later Nesta came in and brought him bandages and ice while telling him good job for putting Rhys in his place.

This became regular for Azriel. Him and Cassian would talk out all his problems one by one and he would actually try to do something to fix them. Cassian talked with Madja, and Azriel was now seeing her regularly as she claimed that "illnesses of the mind must be given the same level of attention as illnesses of the body." He started showing up to family dinners again. He apologised to Elain and told her that he couldn't go on with what they were doing because he wasn't in a place for anything right now and could barely deal with himself. She understood and was happy he was finally getting the help he needed. He told her not to wait for him and that it would be better for them to remain friends and she agreed.

Azriel began doing things for himself. He went to your guys' favourite bakery on the regular. He started reading all the books you had left on your shelf. He even started playing piano again, a hobby he had long forgotten, but only remembered because found his old compositions stuffed in a book on your shelf. He had no clue how you got them, he thought they were all thrown away, but nonetheless he was glad to have them.

Things were looking up for Azriel. The only thing bothering him was that he still didn't have you here or know why you left. No one would tell him anything and they would all shut down around him when you were brought up. Conversations would quiet, and topics would be changed. This confirmed the suspicion he had from the beginning, the reason you left was directly concerned with him.

While he was getting better, Azriel did have his ups and downs. His biggest down was the realisation that you had been writing to every single person except for him and Elain. The shadows had finally decided to start talking to him again and the first thing they had told him is that they caught your scent in the house. He flew like a madman from the other side of Velaris, getting there in record time. He searched for your scent, desperate to see you, when he found a handful of envelopes, all with your name and scrawl. The ink was a dark red and the lines were too thin to be from any of your writing tools. You must be using Eris' then.

This bothered Azriel so much he almost forgot the reason why he was holding these letters. He looked at who they were addressed to and saw every single Inner Circle member had received a letter but him and Elain. He put the letters back on the desk and waited to see if anyone would bring them up. Nothing. His shadows began to update him of their arrivals. You had been regularly corresponding with them and not him. Azriel was crushed.

Nevertheless, he continued with his routine. He saw Madja regularly, became close with his family again, and began to actually do things for himself. The process was difficult and so incredibly hard, especially for someone who had been bottling things up for as long as he had.

He's even been visiting his estate lately to see his mother, as she lives on his property. He avoids her when he isn't doing well, she's been exposed to many cruelties over the span of her long life she doesn't need to deal with more. Talking with his mother has really helped. Her warm smile could brighten any day. He's missed her lately. He has a bad habit of putting the ones that he cares the most about on the back burner, but he's working on it.

It's been 3 months since you left and Azriel is finally feeling better. He was at his weekly session with Madja. It was going really well actually, well it was going really well until she causally says, "And how do you feel about a certain princess' return to the Night Court?" She asked almost sounding like a child teasing their friend in front of their crush. Azriel didn't even pick up on it. His shadows stilled and his eyes went wide. You were coming back? Back to the Night Court? Back to him?

Madja looks at him confused. She tilts her head, "You didn't know?" He shakes his head no. He lets out a breath he didn't even know he was holding and goes, "No I had no idea. I'm still the only one she hasn't spoken to." His tone bitter, but he caught himself and asked, "When is she getting back?" He hopes she'll just forget about his mini outburst just a second ago.

Madja looks surprised and Azriel is even more surprised at her confusion. She has sat here for the past few weeks hearing about him complain about your lack of communication with him, shouldn't she know that he knows nothing of this?

Madja goes, "You do know you have little shadow spies that listen in to all of your conversations?" Good to see that age hasn't dulled her sense of humour. How did he forget about that? Azriel shakes his head and goes,"Fair enough Madja."

She gives him a pitying look and sighs, "She'll come back. As far as your relationship goes, I would recommend talking it out in person. You both obviously have a lot on your minds, your relationship won't be able to move progress until you address this." Madja leans forward, like she's about to tell him a secret. "Now knowing both of you for so long, I can assure you that you guys will be fine. You're fond of each other and your biggest fear is losing each other, it's going to take a lot more than this to ruin you relationship."

Azriel looks at her agape. While this was fairly common knowledge, no one had actually sat him down and told him this. He assumed that you guys were fond of each other in the way he was fond of each of the inner circle members. Now that the dynamics of the inner circle shifted, they were all pairing up and finding their person. While you had always been close to Rhys, Azriel was the one you had usually ended up pairing up with in the end. Azriel had never come to this realisation, his entire life, he had been yearning for someone to pick him, only to drive away the one person who did.

Madja looks at him and he swears she can read his mind. She shakes her head and starts, "You were ready to die for her Azriel, when she was going to be clipped. You put yourself under the mercy of the old high lord for hundreds of years to ensure her safety and you're going to let your relationship fall apart because of what? A misunderstanding?"

Azriel stills, the conversation had escalated very quickly, leaving him speechless. He can't jump to conclusions before he even knew your side. He would talk to you and everything would be okay. It was just one big misunderstanding. It had to be.

He takes a deep breath and revels in his new found peace and clarity. The Azriel of a weeks ago would have angrily stormed off, lashing out at whatever unfortunate victim would check on him to make sure he's okay, but he's getting better now. He isn't anywhere near perfect, he is the same Azriel, but he hopes that when you get back he will be someone that is deserving to have you in their life without taking you for granted.

He takes a deep breath in and out. "Okay. When is the soonest I can speak with her?"

-

note: Azriel self-help arc time! Yes he did suffer for a bit and yes he will suffer a lot more so don't you worry, but I do think he deserves a little respite. He's coming to his senses... slowly. Thank you all for the support on this series I know we've hit a bit of a slow point in the storyline but there will be the reunion in the next episode which will be explosive one way or another so keep an eye out for that. Until next time loves!

note note: I probably will stop putting out chapters at this speed because I want to actually be able to edit them and the next parts are really important to the story and I do want to get it right :)

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Why now? (Part III to Why Me?)

azriel x rhys' sister! reader

angst/eventual comfort (Reader is in her healing era, finally being able to process the mating bond, growth may not always be exciting but it is very necessary )

Summary: When you walk in on Azriel and Elain the mating bond snaps leading you to flee to Autumn with Eris so you can be free of Azriel. Your absence causes Azriel to come to some drastic realisations, but is it already too late and has your time in Autumn led to you moving on?

Parts I and II if you missed them

-

The first few days in the Autumn court were dreadful to say the least. You couldn't open your blinds for the first day, couldn't open the blinds for the second, and couldn't get out of your room until the third. Being in love with Azriel and having to watch him pursue Elain was one thing, but finding out Azriel had been your mate this entire time and watching him possibly invoke a Blood Duel with one of your friends over Elain was something completely different.

Eris in all his cruelty had actually backed off and left you alone to sulk for the first few days. An enchanted tray of food that never goes empty was brought with a cup that magically replenished itself. You didn't even begin to process all that had happened, you've just been allowing yourself to sulk in your misery.

The shadow had tried to make sure you ate and drank, bringing you the cup and insisting you drink water to replenish the liquids you had lost from crying. You drank the water and then proceeded to launch the cup at the shadow which swiftly caught it and put it back on the tray. Even in your absolute misery, Azriel was still taking care of you and you hated him for it.

By day 3 your melancholy had been replaced with fury and you were angry. Angry at the Mother for putting you in this situation, angry at Azriel for not reciprocating your feelings or even noticing, angry at Elain for being so perfect.

On this day, you actually opened your door to allow in a visitor. The visitor was the fox you had initially chased down, and yes, you let it in so it could terrorise the shadow, but it was company nonetheless and provided you with some form of entertainment.

Day 4 you had sat in your room and stewed in your thoughts. Where did your feelings for Azriel end, and where did the mating bond begin, or had they been one and the same this entire time? Some cruel, desperate part of you contemplated telling him, only to see the hurt on his face when he realises the damage he has done to you. Another part, tells you that maybe he has known this entire time, but hasn't cared about you enough to tell you, or worse he cares so much that he can't reject you.

You wanted to hate him, but most of all you wanted to hate Elain. Sweet and lovely Elain, who was always compassionate and brave, but you didn't have it in you to hate her for being what you weren't. You couldn't hate her because she wanted a choice in who she gets to end up with, after everything she has been through, she deserves to be happy with someone whom she loves. The same goes for Azriel, and if that isn't you, you're going to have to find a way to make peace with that because you would never want him to be shackled to you by a mating bond when his heart yearns for another. Keeping him bound to you for any reason outside of his will isn't love that's a prison. You couldn't be the reason that he would be bound to another against his will, not after what your father did to him in the War. You could never do that to him, not matter how badly you wanted to be with him

The first time you had noticed something was going on between them is when you had been on a shopping trip with Nesta and Elain. She gravitated towards this one pair of sapphire earrings and had asked you how you think she would look like in blue, it wasn't her normal choice of colour, but she wanted to try it out. Alarms started blaring in your head, but you decided to think nothing of it not wanting to entertain the idea of her going after Azriel.

Then you saw Azriel gaining a sudden interest in gardening and spending time with Elain in her garden. He is allergic to pollen. He has always disliked gardens, they leave him with watery red eyes and an itchy throat. He would never take you to the gardens of Velaris, but he would tolerate them for Elain.

The final nail in the coffin was when he started to do all the things he would normally do with you with Elain. At that point you knew and you didn't need any evidence to confirm it. Yours and Azriel's coffee runs and bakery crawls became far and few in comparison to him and Elain's plant nursery trips and walks in the garden. When she came back gushing about how lovely the gardens of Velaris were, you had to leave the room and immediately head to training for the safety of yourself and everyone around you.

Yes you still saw Azriel every day. Yes you guys would still train together. Yes you were still close, but the it was never just the two of you anymore. It was family game nights, training with Cassian, or debriefs with him and Rhys. As second in command of the Night Court, you had many duties and threw yourself into your week to deal with this. You went on trips to Dawn and Day back to back when you first started realising that maybe Azriel's priorities were shifting and that maybe you weren't his number 1 anymore.

-

It was now day 5 and Eris has had enough of your sulking. He barges into your room, opens the blinds and yanks off your covers. "Get up. You've had your days to wallow in self-pity, it's time to get back to the real world and stop moping around . You're making the place very grim, you know." You could kill him. How dare he-

"I will set the bed on fire if you don't get up." How dare he? That bastard- "Move." You get up at the first sight of flames emanating off of his fingertips.

You assumed that you looked as awful as you felt. Finding and losing your mate will leave you caring very little about your appearance. "Give me time. I am going through a lot have patience-" You grumbled at Eris, pouting like a child.

The fire that had previously danced between Eris' fingertips was nothing compared the fire now flickering in his gaze. "I had patience 400 years ago when I first began to hear about this whole ordeal. I had patience watching you pine after this male for hundreds of years while you threw yourself into different things, whether it be family or work. I had patience when you lied to me a hundred times over, saying you were done with this." He swiftly walks up to you, making sure you don't shy away from his tough love that feels almost like cruelty at the moment.

He grabs you're shoulders, almost as if he was trying to snap you out of whatever trance you had been under for the past few hundred years. "My patience ran out the second he became your mate, and yours should, too. I refuse to sit and watch you fall apart over the prospect of a rejected mated bond, and I refuse to watch him kill my brother because he can't be bothered to deal with his own feelings and would rather die a martyr because he feels like he doesn't deserve to live out a happy life. You deserve better, and frankly, if you want to let yourself fall to his depths, I will let you drown. "

His gaze is cruel and unwavering, but you know Eris well enough to know that he is trying to bring out the worst feelings in you. All the anger and resentment and hurt to try to force you into action. It's hurtful but it fully might be working.

"I had begun to think that you abandoned the mask of a villain. Good to see you still have it in your arsenal." You respond cooly, just because you saw his point doesn't mean you were happy about it. Siding with Eris over Azriel feels like a betrayal in its own right.

"Fine. It appears that I've been so focused on him for so long, that I forgot to shift the focus back on myself. Now, what do I need to do to move on?

Eris' fox-like grin returned and you immediately regretted agreeing to whatever plan he was scheming up.

-

Apparently the key to dealing with a one-sided mating bond is focusing on yourself and becoming your own individual that isn't dependent on anyone else. Shocker.

Everyone says it, but it's like when you were sick and your mom would force you to drink this disgusting medicine saying it would make you feel better. You would fight her with everything you had to not taste that gross liquid and you would fail every time, immediately after drinking it all your symptoms are relieved and you end up feeling much better. It's a terrible feeling really.

Even though you had hobbies, you rarely did anything for yourself anymore. When Eris asked you what it was that you liked doing in your free time, you just kind of blanked and were about to respond telling him that you read a lot.

"Reading doesn't count. I mixed up our novels and I still cannot get the deplorable scenes I had read out of my head. I barely think it counts as literature at that point." You were about to offer a retort about how all forms of literature are valid and that you actually do read educational texts when an arrow came nearly flying at your head.

"First hobby we're trying, Archery." Eris says excitedly, much to excited for someone who nearly killed you. You look at him, appalled, "Archery? How is this going to help with anything?" He leads you around the hedges of his gardens to an archery range and hands you a bow from a storage shed that appears to house weapons. Where he got his bow from who knows? It's Eris.

"Trying new things is a good way to find out what you like and don't like. When was the last time you did something that put you out of your comfort zone? Besides, I haven't had anyone to compete with in a while, and Lucien refuses to play with me after I shot him in the shoulder." He says this so casually like he didn't shoot an arrow at his brother because he was probably winning.

"You don't have many friends do you?" You ask half sarcastic because really who is he spending his time with? "It's not my fault. I confused the red of his hair with the red of the bullseye, truly a mistake anyone could make." You send a prayer to the Mother to help you and to get Eris more friends to terrorise, so his focus isn't on you.

He shoots an arrow, and it lands perfectly on target. You guys go back and forth for hours. You struggle at first, but finally win the 27th game. You don't care that its' because one of the foxes decided to run interference by biting on Eris' pant leg. You will take the victory where you can get it.

Over the course of the next few weeks, you guys fell into a routine. You would begin to feel useless if you were just sitting in Autumn, not doing anything, so Eris put you to work. You would help Eris with his plan to overthrow Beron, actually doing your courtly duties and gathering intel from your spies. You would balance out the work with new hobbies that you guys would try because while you needed help shifting your focus back to you, Eris needed some fun in his life.

The next hobby you guys did was painting, which you were terrible at, and Eris excelled. Then baking, which you were surprisingly amazing at, leading to Lucien, who was visiting, getting into a sparring match over the last cupcake with Eris. You had to intervene and cut the cupcake in half when you saw flames being thrown. You accidentally exploded a lab during potions making which led to a temporary hobby ban. You learned how to sew, which Eris was terrible at as he kept accidentally poking his hand with a needle. Blowing glass, origami, gardening, curses, card tricks, candle making you guys had done everything you could name and before you knew it 3 months had gone bye.

Yes you still thought of Azriel, but the mating bond had gone from feeling like you had been stabbed in the chest to the feeling of a fly landing on your arm. Slightly annoying and you know that it's there, but if you aren't focused on it you weren't able to feel it.

After the first month, you had saved the shadow that followed you here from the fox's reign of terror. It had been keeping an eye on you, but it was giving you space. You wore it as a bracelet from then on, it was actually so nice having a little helper you could see why Azriel liked them so much.

You wrote to Rhys almost every day, missing your brother more than anyone. You guys even talked mind to mind whenever you both were free, which was not as often as you liked. He told you how things were and how everyone was doing well. He tiptoed around Azriel and Elain, not wanting to bring them up for obvious reasons. When Cassian heard that you had been writing to Rhys, he demanded to have a weekly letter as well, and when he told Nesta she needed to be included in his, which led to Mor finding out, which led to Feyre, and well, now you're regularly corresponding with all of the inner circle except Azriel and Elain. Amren will leave a sentence or two on someones letter if you're lucky.

You missed your family, but you're glad you left. In your time away you rediscovered an old passion of yours that had been long forgotten, learning. You were able to read and research to your hearts content, which you hadn't had the time or energy for in over 150 years. You are always so preoccupied on the things that you do know that you forget about how much there is that is out there waiting for you to learn. You learned about botany and even created a new type of Autumn maple tree that you planted on Eris' estate. You talked to one of Eris' healers when you fell of your horse during your trial with horse jumping and she told you about there is steal a lot to be uncovered in how fae magic reacts to healing and how the healers don't know why they can't heal certain wounds. Wounds that take longer to detect, illnesses of the body that slowly deteriorate it, unlike a swift arrow wound that one could easily see, were almost immune to magic relying on pure medicinal healing. While medicinal healing is a lot better than nothing, it was not on the same level as magic and could not always heal.

You read every fae magic anatomy book you could get your hands on, every healing book in the Autumn Court library. You even took a trip to the Dawn Court for a week to conduct your research with their healers. You guys actually hit a real breakthrough and the high healer of Dawn said she was going to meet with the other courts to discuss your findings. Nothing tangible yet, but it was looking good.

This leaves you right now, looking at a letter from Madja. She heard about your research and wants you to come back to Night and continue working with her. She says she has the resources to possibly find the answers you're looking for. You've had this letter for a while, almost two weeks now, and you have yet to respond. When you first got it, the prospect of even seeing Azriel again put your head in a tailspin. Then you realised, you didn't care as much as you would've. You have found a passion for something bigger than yourself, something that could help your court and the fae of Prythian. You've had your ups and downs and yes you have missed Azriel more than you have ever imagined, but you have been able to grow into your own person.

You're comfortable with yourself and being alone in a way you never have been before, always so preoccupied with the fear of Azriel not wanting you, you never questioned if you had even wanted yourself. These past 3 months had forced to you grow. You never considered what life would be like post-Azriel or post-when-you-find-your-mate, being alone was something you had equated to failing, especially when Rhys found Feyre and Cassian found Nesta. The idea of not having someone became a fear that was in the background of your mind. Now you realize, that it is okay to not have a mate. You can still have a fulfilling life filled with doing the things you love and being around the people you love. Just because your mate had found another didn't mean you had to fall apart. You had found the peace within yourself. Damn Eris and his ways.

You pull out a piece of paper and begin to write out your response. Your time in Autumn has ended, looks like it's time to go back to the Night Court.

-

taglist: @alimarie1105 @chaosabroad @bbontenswhhore @tele86 @ashblooddragons @circe143 @i-am-infinite @princesssunderworld @thestartitaness @tiffany-xx @cpfantasybooks @lucia-valentinaa @jennigsonl

note: This story is really going a lot slower than I thought, I think I'm going to turn it into a full-blown series now since I really want to do justice to this relationship. I know the chapter is a bit of an annoying self-help arc and is uneventful compared to the last two, but sometimes the key to finding a fulfilling love is self-acceptance. Thank you for all the support on this series I can't wait to see where this takes us <3

note note: I wanted to get this part out quick so it is unedited...

Pairing: Dick Grayson x Female Reader x Jason Todd

Plot: What was supposed to be a simple mission to stop Ivy takes an unexpected turn when her latest scheme leaves you, Jason, and Dick trapped, and at the mercy of some very potent pollen. With your minds hazy and bodies burning, boundaries blur, and well... things escalate fast.

CW: sex pollen, mutual pining, explicit sexual content, threesome, oral sex, overstimulation, unprotected sex, praise, cum swallowing, double penetration, creampie, slight pain/pleasure mix, lots of cum, soft aftercare, and overall just filthy degeneracy.

A/N: I don't know if this is what y'all had in mind with this sex pollen fic, but as you might've noticed, I'm a yapper. I don't do 'let's fuck and leave' type of shit. No, we're diving deep into the filth and the feelings. So yeah... this turned out way longer than expected, but your girl loves details 😭

The warehouse stinks of damp wood and fertilizer, the air thick with the scent of Ivy's latest eco-terrorist bullshit. You, Jason, and Dick move quickly through the dimly lit space, scanning for the so-called "pollen bombs" that intel suggested she was planting all over Gotham.

"God, it reeks in here," Jason grumbles, wrinkling his nose behind his helmet. "What the hell is she even tryin' to do? Make the city smell like a goddamn greenhouse?"

"Could be worse," Dick muses, flipping acrobatically over a crate before kneeling beside a sleek metal canister. "Could smell like Killer Croc's lair."

Jason makes a gagging noise, and you fight back a laugh as you crouch beside them, eyeing the canister. It looks pretty standard—small, about the size of a fire extinguisher, a simple pressurized trigger system on top.

"Think this is one of them?" you ask.

"Either that or the world's most industrial lookin' Febreze bottle," Jason mutters.

Dick scoffs, running his gloved fingers along the side of the canister. "Ivy's getting sloppy. This is—"

PFFT.

The release is instant. The three of you barely have time to react before a thick, pale green vapor hisses from the canister, spreading out around you in a slow, curling cloud.

"Shit," Jason curses, jerking back, but it's already too late.

Instinctively, he pulls you with him, yanking you closer to his chest as if that could shield you from whatever the hell is happening. His arm wraps tight around you, his body stiffening as the vapor swirls around all three of you.

The gas spreads, clinging to your clothes, sneaking past your masks. You inhale before you can stop yourself, and—

"Wait," you murmur. "Why does it... smell good?"

Jason and Dick freeze, both of them taking tentative sniffs. The air is thick with something warm and sweet—notes of honey and spice, deep and rich like fresh blooms in the summer sun. It's nice. So nice, in fact, that for a second, the three of you just... stare at each other, confused.

Jason exhales sharply, waving a hand in front of his face. "Okay. What the fuck?"

Dick coughs, looking around at the dissipating mist. "Maybe it's, uh... a trap? Some kind of knockout gas?"

"We'd be on the floor by now, Grayson," you point out.

There's a beat of silence. The three of you just stand there, letting the last wisps of the pollen drift away, waiting for some kind of reaction—dizziness, nausea, anything.

But nothing happens.

Why him? (Part II to Why me?)

azriel x rhys' sister! reader

angst/eventual comfort (Buckle up bc this part is in Azriel's Pov after reader left him for Autumn. I swear the comfort will come eventually)

Summary: When you walk in on Azriel and Elain the mating bond snaps leading you to flee to Autumn with Eris so you can be free of Azriel. Your absence causes Azriel to come to some drastic realisations, but is it already too late and has your time in Autumn led to you moving on?

Part I if you missed it

-

Azriel has never been more confused in his long fae life. You guys have been perfectly in sync for hundreds of years, had seen each other at your bests and worsts and now it seems like everything is crumbling down and he doesn't even know what's happening. First, it had begun with his almost kiss with Elain, which Rhys had interrupted with probably the meanest thing he had ever said to him. Then, his shadows tell him that you're getting ready to leave for Autumn immediately without telling anyone.

He begins to tell Elain this when his first shadow, the one that had reached out to him in the depths of his father's dungeon, begins crying. He feels his shadow break away from himself and run to stop you from leaving. His shadow lets out a melancholic cry, unlike one he's ever heard from them. He feels the shadow's emotions, the panic and the fear of you leaving. You guys have never left for a mission without at least corresponding to one another.

He tells Elain that he that he thinks something is seriously wrong and he needs to see you right now to make sure everything is okay. He runs to your room and when he gets there, he sees it's already full of the rest of the inner circle minus Rhys. He watches as they go silent in his presence, each one a deer caught in the headlights.

The room immediately became thick with tension and he didn't know why. It couldn't have been because he brought Elain with him? He looks to you and you look almost sickly, trembling and heavy breathing with bleary, dull eyes that look drained of the life he had become accustomed to. Something was seriously wrong.

While Autumn had been one of the more problematic courts as far as diplomacy goes, it had been relatively stable recently. Beron's reign of terror has been suprisingly quiet lately. There shouldn't be any reason to send you there. Besides it wasn't a particularly safe court and Azriel would rather be sending 50 spies to their death than to put you in jeapordy.

The entire time he was in the room he felt that you had been off. For cauldron sake you had snapped at him when he had only been concerned for your safety. You don't do that. Well, not without reason of course, and he wanted to know the reason so he could fix it because that's what you guys do for each other. How was he going to do that when you wouldn't even look him in the eye.

It didn't help that he couldn't get a grip on his frantic shadow that was holding you down. It also didn't help that Eris appeared out of nowhere and whisked you away to Autumn before he could say anything. He was going to go after you when Rhys had shown up and told him to stand down. Rhys, who had said deplorable things to him about the Elain situation. But nevertheless, he choked down the hurt he had regarding his whole argument with his brother.

You had left so suddenly and now everyone in the room had gone quiet, the weight of your absence felt by everyone immediately. He didn't even get to give you your solstice gift.

Speaking of Solstice, everyone would usually stay up late drinking and laughing but the minute you left it felt as if someone took a bucket of ice water to every single person in that room. Rhys announced he was going to bed and everyone else agreed and followed. They said their goodnights in the most polite fashion, the way they would to a courtier not their brother on Solstice. Nesta dragged Elain away before she could retort that she needed to stay with Azriel.

All the warmth had seeped out of the room with your absence and he wondered if this was how it was going to be from now on without you. Although you hadn't been glued to the hip as you guys usually were, due to him spending more time with Elain he knows he would've noticed if there was something wrong. Deep down in his heart, as shrivelled and marred it had become, Azriel knew that something was seriously wrong and he committed himself to finding out what it was.

The spymaster is the perfect person to have been chosen to solve the mystery of your sudden switch up, and Azriel swore he would get down to the bottom of whatever it was. Him and Rhys have been vying in the competition of who knows you best for centuries. He decides to start his investigation by searching your room. Yes, it's technically an invasion of privacy but anything that puts you and your happiness or safety at risk is an emergency in Azriel's book.

He has his shadows scour around and nothing seems to be out of the ordinary minus the missing stuff you had packed. A dozen or so books missing, a quarter of your closet gone, and all the trunks you had in the closet were absent. You had packed a good amount of your stuff, enough to last you a month at the least and years at the most.

He begins to look for more clues, and he notices that you had left the stationary that he had gifted you on your 400th untouched on your desk. It started off with a simple stationary set with a gold-tipped quill and obsidian star-flecked ink, then when he saw your eyes light up he would find excuses to get you more ink and pens over the years. Now your giant desk is sprawling with different inks, wax seals, stamps, pens, quills, you name it it's there. You have never left the Night Court without at the very least the original set in tow. Even during the war, you packed the gold-tipped quill in your small bag.

Azriel's stomach dropped. He knew it probably wasn't malicious, and you had probably just been in a rush and had simply forgotten, but the idea that not even a small part of him was with you left an ugly feeling spreading throughout him.

He continued to look around the room and saw that you had left everything Azriel had ever given you. The training boots he had especially made for you sat worn out on the floor next to the bookshelf, which he now noticed only housed the books that Azriel had given you, which he had noticed was a substantial amount. The travel pack he had made for your measurements, since the Illyrian one's were quite large and heavy, was left on the floor with nothing but the first aid kit that he had requested Madja to make you in case of emergencies in it.

Azriel had spent countless hours in your room, but never realised how much he comprised it, but maybe that was because all traces of you were now gone. You took the jewellery that Mor had given you, books Nesta had lent you, even the blanket that Feyre had given you made from the Coat of the elusive WinterBeast. It doesn't even get cold enough in Autumn for you to use it. You even took the apron that Cassian sewed you the one time Nesta dragged him to a sewing class on date night. For Cauldron's sakes you even took the enchanted ruby ring that Amren gave you, why would you do that when you prefer Saphire. He had noticed that when you had left, you changed out your regular sapphire jewellery in exchange for the purple diamonds and starlight emblems that Rhysand had given you.

Yes they were Night Court family colours, but it was the first time he had seen you without any blue for a while. He didn't like it. You were a sentimental person and had brought pieces of everyone in the family with you, except for him and Elain. Maybe this was your way of protesting their sneaking around, especially with talks of a Blood Duel coming into play, but you have never outright avoided him before.

He continued to pace around the room, trying to come up with solutions and possibilities, when his foot hit a box that had been hiding under your bed. Perfect cobalt blue wrapping with a silver bow, Azriel knew he had just found his Solstice present.

Hiding Solstice presents from Azriel had always been hard work. The shadows would see and get excited and tell their master of the gifts long before they were wrapped and under the tree. You, however, were somehow the only one who could surprise him. You refused to let him find out, leading to you not even putting your present under the tree. He would receive his gift late at night when everyone had gone to bed, and the stars in the sky were fighting to stay up, the threat of sunlight imminently close. You would creep around in the shadows of him and steal leftover Solstice cookies and have your own gift opening either in one of your rooms or next to the embers of the fire that had been roaring all night.

Azriel had committed many atrocities in his life, his line of work almost required it. He didn't know what came after this life, and every day, he wondered if the Mother would even let him go on knowing all that he had done in this one. To go against the Mother was one thing, but to go against you was another. Azriel knew that he would forsake the Mother a hundred times over before he would forsake you. Even if this present was meant to be his anyways, you aren't here to give it to him so how does he know he can take it? But what if this present is actually a clue, and you purposefully hid it to spite him. You were still Rhys' blood, you guys can get a little petty at times.

Besides he did technically give you your Solstice present. Azriel always had an easy time with gifts, he listens in on conversations about what people want and gives it to them. While there is a lack of sentimentality there, everyone is happy so why does it matter?

But you always give the most thoughtful gifts, the gifts people didn't know they wanted but needed. He tries to keep up with you, but he just isn't sentimental enough to be good at those kinds of gifts. He gifted Elain a necklace, because that's what the jeweler said that women liked. For you though, he knew he had to come up with something big.

He came up with his gift months ago when Azriel had to go on a month-long mission to help keep the Spring Court from falling. When he came back, his first shadow darted to you, swirling around you happily. It had been whispering about you constantly during his time away and had only calmed down in your presence. It clicked for him, and while this shadow is the most important to him, the one that had reached out in the darkness when he was at his lowest, he knew deep down that it in some way it had belonged to you. Always preferring your company to his, always asking about your whereabouts, always calming down in your presence. He told his shadow and the shadow was elated the shadow came up with different ideas to always be with you, as a bracelet, in your hair, even as a part of your shadow.

While others had always been weary of his shadows, you treated them like a pet. Talking to them, petting them, and never missing an opportunity to call them cute. While the shadows are sentient, they are a manifestation of himself, and where others cowered in fear you embraced them wholeheartedly. It was probably the most intimate thing that Azriel had ever done for anyone he even had a mini speech written down about how grateful he was to have you in his life, but he never got to give it to you because you left before he had the chance. He didn't realise that the shadow had managed to escape with you until after you were gone.

You had just left but he missed you. The lack of knowledge of your return had him spiraling. He needed to know why you left because then he could know how to bring you back. In his desperation for answers and current lack of a better judgement he decides to open the present.

He rips open the cobalt wrapping paper to find a navy box littered with silver stars that looked like the night sky. He takes off the lid of the box and starts ruffling through the shiny paper you stuffed the box with, an extra layer of protection to block his shadows from seeing what was in the gift.

The first thing he had pulled out was a matching blade and sheath. The hilt was intricate, it started blue and bled into a violet littered with specks that he could only see after turning it over, pure starlight. The hilt had little stars and swirls engraved in it, an Illyrian design, but the actual shape of the blade and craft of the blade hailed from Dawn.

The blade of a Peregryn general was the sharpest and lightest blade that you could find in Prythian. The craftsmanship is a very regulated process and no one is able to get them. No one else is allowed to wield them and the blade dies with the Peregryn, they are blood bound. They are heavily enchanted and are basically a lifeline for any peregryn soldier. They only break when warding off a death blow.

There usually a bit smaller, no bigger than a throwing knife. He pulled out truthteller to compare the size and it was a perfect match. The matching sheath was gorgeous, all dark leather and intricate designs. More swirls of shadows and stars and little specks of blue and purple, a mix of you and Azriel.

He was aghast. He had mentioned being bitter about the Peregryn blades and made a joke about how Illyrians were the better winged fae in the past Mother knows how long ago, but he never thought you would actually be able to acquire one, let alone customise it to his liking.

He was touched, but he tried to suppress his feelings so he could maintain his control and continued to look through the box. The only other thing was a pair of gloves, but knowing you, they must have been a lot more than a pair of gloves. Also from the Dawn court, they had the same level of intricacy in their design and appeared to match the rest.

Azriel put a glove on and felt immediate relief. You knew that the cold would sometimes aggravate the scars on his hands and while he was still able to function for all these years, it wasn't comfortable to say the least. Azriel hated asking for help, he couldn't do it, so he has suffered in silence, enduring like he always does. You had these gloves imbued with a healing magic, from the Dawn Court, the court with the best healers in Prythian.

He knew that you had likely spent years crafting these gifts and working with blacksmiths and healers, calling in favor after favor, swaying high lords all for his sake. No one has ever done something like this for him.

His heart swells and then breaks. You had done all of this for him and now he had let you down without knowing why. You gave him a lifeline and he was going to waste it on a Blood Duel with Lucien Vanserra. He was going to waste years of work you had put into this surprise trying to take someone’s mate away from them, the very thing he had always wanted. Shame fills him and the thoughts begin to flood his mind.

The thoughts of how he doesn't deserve you. Thoughts of how he has failed you and will never be able to fix that damage that he unknowingly did. Thoughts of how you finally saw the faults in him like everyone else and you had decided that enough was enough and you decided you didn’t want anything to do with him. Thoughts of how he had lost the one person who had always been unconditionally there for him.

The thoughts just keep coming and he doesn’t know how to stop them. His shadows frantically swirled around him unable to deal with the distress of their master. Mental distress becomes physical and the weight of existence is heavy on his chest.

Azriel falls to his knees and holds his new blade, your blade, to the left side of his chest. He crumples in on himself and the shadows surround him. Wetness begins to stream down his face and he can’t even begin to comprehend why. What is this agony he was feeling.

His vision blurs, not that it matters since his shadows surround him and block the light. His breathing is erratic and his heart is nearly pounding out of his chest. His chest swells with emotion heavy as pain, almost as if there was a phantom knife lodged in his chest. He had never felt this way before, he was very good at keeping his composure but right now he was a complete and utter mess.

Trying to get himself together before he completely falls apart he’s able to prop himself up against your bed. Your scent immediately hits him and a wave of comfort rolls over him. Even in your absence you’re taking him down off the ledge. The minute he picked up your scent it was like he was finally able to think clearly.

He was emotionally and physically spent from all that had happened tonight, he needed the small comfort of whatever part of you he could get. You would laugh at him for this and scold him for not writing a letter, he would give anything for you to walk in and say something like how he’s a big illyrian baby who can never ask for help. You would laugh and stay with him until he feels like he can be alone again. You were meant to be here laughing with him and crying over how touched you were by his gift, instead he was here by himself crying because of how touched he was by yours and how he wishes you were here.

Like a child that just had a nightmare, he crawls into your bed and wraps himself up in the blankets and your scent. His body relaxed, his heart rate steadies, his breathing evens, and his shadows calm. Everything instantly feels better and what seemed like the end of the world moments ago now seems manageable. Your scent lulls him to edge of sleep and he drifts off with thoughts of you on his mind.

-

taglist: @chaosabroad @bbontenswhhore @tele86 @ashblooddragons

note: I really tried to get this out in 24 hours so it may be a bit rushed and completely unedited... but thank you everyone for your support and thank you for everyone on the taglist! This may be a bit of a boring chapter, but I feel like it's necessary to flesh out the relationship between the reader and Azriel. Until next time!

Why me?

Azriel x rhys sister! reader!

angst/eventual comfort (there will be 2 more parts to this series with an eventual happy ending)

Summary: When you walk in on Azriel and Elain the mating bond snaps leading you to flee to Autumn with Eris so you can be free of Azriel. Your absence causes Azriel to come to some drastic realisations, but is it already too late and has your time in Autumn led to you moving on?

-

They always said fate is a cruel mistress, but you never believed that to be true, until you saw Azriel about to kiss Elain on the night of the solstice. Fate had allowed you to survive all these years. Fate had brought you and Rhys, Azriel and Cassian. She and the mother must be scheming together to conspire against you because the minute you saw him with her you had felt something shift within you, and you knew that the mating bond just snapped.

After all these years of being Azriel’s closest friend and confidant. After the first few years after your and Rhys' mother first brought him home and you would sit in silence with him, keeping him company when he was too uncomfortable to speak much. After he almost got exiled from Illyria for slaying the men who were trying to clip your wings at camp. After he made a bargain with your father, the high lord, his lifelong servitude for your safety. After you decided you realised you were in love with him after you watched him give away his freedom for your wings.

After years of Azriel defying orders during the war to let you know that your brother and Cassian were alive. After he dragged you out of your depression after your mom and sister died. After watching him pine after Mor for centuries, while you pushed down your feelings. After him being the only thing that kept you going when Rhys was under the Mountain. After befriending Feyre and her sisters.

All you could think is why? Why me? Why now?

You run out of the room before they can see you, breathing heavily and rapidly with tears streaming down your face. The room was spinning, your body processing what was happening a lot quicker than your thoughts which were in completely disarray. You have no idea where you were running to, all you knew is that you had to run faster. Away from Azriel and Elain, away from this cruel situation, and away from this mating bond you knew you were going to have to eventually reject against your will.

You are about to pick up the pace when you slam into wall. It was not a wall, but Rhys’s chest. He's grabbing both your arms as you sink to your knees, unable to control your breathing. He tries to hold you up when you lock eyes with him and the only words you’re able to get out are, “it’s him. He’s my mate. And- he’s with-” You begin to hyperventilate on the floor while sobbing into Rhys’s chest, his arms rubbing soothing circles over your back. Rhys had known about your one-sided love for Azriel since the beginning. He was the one who had to stop you from killing your father when you found out that he had basically enslaved Azriel, the reason for your anger apparent to your overly perceptive brother. You told him to stay out of it then and he has tread lightly throughout the years, but you knew if it came down to it he would cut Azriel down where he stands for ever disrespecting you if it came down to it.

Despite the storm brewing in his violet eyes, his voice is soothing and comforting, “I’ll take care of it," he says. You hug him tightly, thankful for his support, but you knew in your heart you couldn't handle staying in the Night Court and seeing Azriel and Elain every day. At least not while the mating bond was still fresh, not when it had reopened old wounds that had never fully closed. "Rhys I can't be in this court. I need to go. Tell everyone that the situation in Autumn worsened and you needed to send someone to keep the peace. Tell them whatever you need, I just need to get out." You gave him a pleading look and he knew by looking in your eyes that you had made your mind. He gives you a solemn nod and just says, "Okay, but write to me if you need anything and don't be gone for too long. This is only a temporary solution. Use your judgement and be safe okay?" "Okay," you nod back and give him a hug before he starts angrily walking to go handle the Azriel situation.

You immediately winnow to your room and send a letter to an old friend calling in a favour. You quickly packed your things, getting ready to leave the Night Court until you can fully process this staggering new information. You close your final chest, when Cassian comes barreling through the door tears beginning to form in his eyes. "YOU'RE LEAVING WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE?" The mother must really have it in for you today. You schooled your features into indifference, "Cassian I need to go. This mission is crucial for the stability of the courts." You try to make it sound believable, but you're honestly so overwhelmed and so exhausted that you end up sounding monotone. "But-" Nesta walks in and shushes Cassian. While you had initially been closer to Feyre, you and Nesta have recently grown closer even starting a book club together bonding over your love for trashy romance books. Nesta looked at you up and down. It felt like her eyes were bearing into your very soul. She gave you a knowing look and something akin to pity flickered in her eyes, "It snapped for you didn't it? He has no idea?" Cassian's eyes went from glassy and pleading to confused, he sat down, and you watched everything finally fall into place for him. He jumps up, wings on alert, "Oh my god. IM GONNA KILL HIM-" You and Nesta run to hold him down. "NO-"

Mor and Feyre come barging in, trying and failing to hide the disbelief written across their faces. They were followed by a sauntering Amren, who looked as unphased as ever. From the looks of it, Rhys had told Feyre via mind to mind, who told Mor while Amren had been in the room and of course had already known everything, as she always does. Great you had intended to leave silently and now the entire house knew about the predicament that you're in. Mor looks at you guilt written on her features, she slowly begins to approach you. "We couldn't let you leave like this without saying goodbye first." She hugs you and tears begin to well up in your eyes. Then everyone else comes in and it turns into a group hug. Even Amren begrudgingly joins. Too emotionally exhausted to say anything more you thank everyone and get ready to winnow to the one court you know Azriel wouldn't follow you to when a shadow frantically darts to you and holds your wrist down against your desk.

Where there is smoke there is fire, and where there are shadows there is a shadowsinger. You fight against the shadow, but it frantically circles itself around your wrist. Desperate to hold onto you, when Azriel comes in looking as frazzled as you had ever seen him. You nor Azriel had never left for a mission without saying bye or at least communicating to one another. This was a first and to say it bothered him was an understatement, he was frantic. His shadows were radiating off of him, rapidly swirling and darting around the room in a way you had never seen before.

You really didn't want to talk to him, but his shadow was preventing you from leaving. You didn't even want to look at him. It hurt. Everything hurt. Being in his presence was already a stab to the heart, but Elain following seconds behind him is what twisted the knife and put you in the grave.

It would have made it easier if you actually hated Elain, but you didn't. She was honestly a lovely, kind, and beautiful person and you could see why Azriel would fall for her. Which honestly made it so much harder to deal with because while you considered yourself to be all rough lines and hard edges, Elain was smooth and perfect in a way you knew you would never be. Not after everything you had endured in your long life.

The moment you guys met eyes, everyone else in the room had gone eerily silent a mix of not trying to look like they were listening too hard and a mix of not trying to give away what they now knew. You tried, you tried really hard to stay mad at him, but it's hard to remain mad at someone when the very fibers that make up your soul are screaming at you to be near them.

"Why would you just leave without saying anything?"The audacity he has to look hurt when he wouldn't have noticed you were gone if Rhys hadn't gone and busted him with Elain. Emotions swirl around inside of you, none of them good all of them lethal if you fall victim to them. He didn't know it but your relationship with Azriel was on a knife's edge and it was taking everything in your right now to maintain whatever composure you had left. As stoicly as you have ever spoken to him you respond, "It's urgent. Autumn could fall if I don't go and that would send Prythian into chaos. It's my duty to go." The air in the room stilled. You were a lit match, and his presence was gasoline; if he got any closer, it would not be good for anyone.

"You should have told me first. Autumn isn't safe, if you wait a few days I could accompany you and together we could-" Azriel frantically begins to rant. He's pulling on a lose thread, not realising what he's unraveling. You immediately shut him down, "No. I need to do this myself and frankly I don't need to disclose all my missions to you." He looks at you apalled.

This isn't the you that he knows, the one who can decipher what he is thinking from a single glace. The one who he can speak to without words as though it was a second language. The one who offers him peace when the world becomes too difficult to bear. The sharpness of your tone is grating and he begins to wonder how he was able to turn the one good constant in his life against him. His chest feels heavy with emotions he cannot even begin to decipher. Panic? Fear? Despair? So much despair. It becomes overwhelming. He is usually fairly good at compartmentalising his emotions. What in mother's name is happening to him?

You break him out of his downward spiral by clearing your throat and looking at the shadow currently frantically swirling and holding your wrist down like an anxious child crying and clinging onto it's mother anytime she's not near. The shadows had always been rather fond of you. A look of surprise and then shock coats his features as he appears to be struggling to reel his shadow in. Certain shadows have defining features, and you recognise this one to be the one that would always dote on you. When you and Azriel were kids and his shadows were far and few there was always one that favored you the most. When you're wings were almost cut off and you isolated yourself to your chambers, the shadow had stayed with you until you were comfortable enough to be alone. You hadn't been able to recognise it since you had never seen it this frantic.

"I can't reason with him. He's refusing to leave you." Azriel admits defeated. At this the shadow releases you and starts frantically swirling around Azriel, darting away from Elain when she reaches a hand out to try and help, and immediately comes to you and perches itself on your wrist. "Take it with you," He says sheepily. "He was always more yours than mine anyways. He cries in your absence and only makes himself known in your presence."

Azriel nervously laughs trying to get rid of the tension in the room, it was so thick a knife couldn't cut through it. The rest of the occupants of the room didn't look at him worried that their eyes would reveal to the spymaster the secret that was now only secret to him.

You don't care if he doesn't know how what he's saying affects you. All you know is that you're in pain. There are stories of fae that have been driven to madness by an unrequited mating bond, you had thought them dramatic but right now you can feel it taking a physical toll on your body. You need to leave. You have to go against everything your body and heart are telling you to run to him, to be with him, to never let him go. You have to chose yourself and whatever is left of your dignity. At this point you're fighting every emotion you have ever felt towards Azriel tenfold, praying to the mother you don't explode and cause irreparable damage.

"It's not your duty to look after me. I am well equipped to handle my own missions and I certainly don't need your shadow to look after me. So if that is all, I must now be on my way." Azriel's face is a mix of hurt and confusion, something you had not seen in all your years of knowing him. His mouth opened to say something to you, but Elain put a gentle hand on his shoulder and you had summoned every ounce of self-restraint you possessed to stop yourself from lunging at her when someone there was a burst of air and the smell of cedar and oak permeated the room.

"Am I interrupting something? Surely the Night Court's entire political standing isn't dependent on a lover's quarrel?" the biting tone matched the mischievous eyes and the fox-like grin. Elain looked like she wanted to explain herself when Eris looked her way and cooly responded, "Relax, what you do or don't do with my brother is none of my business, but I would at least give it a try before invoking a blood duel those aren't really great for pr. Not like you're court already has the best reputation as is."

Mor blanked. Elain hid behind Azriel. Amren and Nesta raised a brow. Cassian scowled. Both Feyre and Azriel straighted on alert and were about to take a step forward to take care of the intruder when he lifted a hand to stop her. "I kid. No one in this court can take a joke it seems." He would have been charismatic if he wasn't... well Eris. He held his hands up, although his smile remained and sarcastically said, "I am here on business to escort your wonderful princess to my personal estate to ensure her safe keeping for her time in Autumn."

While Rhys had always been scarily perceptive, he had met his match with Eris. He has been in the room for a minute, maybe two max and he had already begun to look for the cause of the tension in the room. His eyes scanned everyone, only halting once they reached the shadowsinger on seemingly high alert with Elain right behind him. He looked back to you and his eyebrows raised. He figured it out.

Azriel's wings fan out, casting half the room in shadow due to their span. "Why would you be her escort. We are perfectly capable here in Night to maintain the safety of the members of this Court." He was glaring Eris down, he might as well have been puffing his chest out at this point. Cauldron knows what he's doing or what he thinks he's going to get out of this.

You already knew Eris was going to toy with him from the glint in his eyes. "I believe it, but when my dear, old friend, who I hold in such high esteem, writes to me calling in a centuries-old favour, how could I refuse? Even without the favour, there are very few who can resist the will of the Princess of Night. She's as formidable as she is convincing as you would know." Good to see that Eris is still as calculated and provoking as ever. Now if Azriel had known he was your mate, Eris would be a dead man but right now he just stood there glaring him down with a look so cruel it sent shivers down your spine.

Eris just shrugged it off and rolled his eyes. "Well it was lovely seeing all of you but we must be going now." With a wave of his hand all your luggage had disappeared and he holds out his left hand to you. You give your family a curt nod, not meeting Azriel's gaze. You turn your back on them and take Eris' hand and then the world falls away.

-

The stars in Autumn don't compare to the ones in Night. It's hard to believe that it was even the same sky. The same sky that your family and Azriel are under right now. You're just realising now that you had never given Azriel your solstice present, not leaving it under the tree because you wanted to give it to him personally. Your mind begins to stray to a cruel place, questioning what if he had known all this time and didn't tell you to avoid having to reject you.

Eris snaps you out of your spiral before it can consume you. "Are you in the same situation as my brother or does he just not know he's your mate. Frankly, you guys should start a support group because I don't know which is worse." He says trying to lighten the mood in the most Eris way possible.

You feel weary in your bones from the exhaustion of the night and you lash out at Eris. "I know you weren't hugged enough as a child, but can you please refrain from the comments for one evening?" Your voice drops along with your demenour, "The bond snapped when I walked in on him almost kissing Elain. I needed an out. Thank you for being one Eris." Tears began to well up in your eyes. It was just too much everything was too much. Eris slings an arm over your shoulder and leads you to his manor. "Come on princess, I have hot chocolate and mulled wine on the stove and cookies in the oven. Well Lucien does but that's just semantics. You have tomorrow to cry over that overgrown bat and his emotional constipation."

The manor is a large cream Tudor-style manor with dark brown wood lining all the doors and windows. You walked in and were immediately hit with the warmth and the smell of maple cookies and cinnamon. For all of Eris' brashness, his home was very warm and welcoming. You saw Lucien pulling cookies out of the oven, his head snapped to you and he ran over to pull you into an embrace. You guys are practically in the same situation now; unrequited mating bonds really bring people together, apparently.

You just realised that Lucien is here, celebrating with Eris instead of in Velaris. You look to him confused and ask, "Shouldn't you be in Velaris?" He responds with an immediate retort and a raised brow, "Shouldn't I be asking you the same thing?" Touché.

Cut off by the sound of a cork popping, you guys turn to see Eris uncorking a bottle of wine. He then pulls out two identical ones, branded with the signature Autumn maple leaf. He then somehow fits a bottle each into his almost comedically large wine glasses, also adorned with maple leaves and foxes on the stem.

He brings over the glasses of wine handing one to you and one to Lucien. He raises his glass and goes, "Here's to us. When the mother challenges us, we laugh in her face and keep going. Here's to being misfits and outcasts and being so much better than everyone else." Half the time no one knows what Eris is saying, but you'll drink to it. Everyone in your family has found their mate or person and here you are on Solstice drinking a bottle of wine from a fox glass. How the mother has her ways, maybe fate bribed her to give you a harder time with the amount of times you've defied her over the years.

Solstice wasn't all bad. You laughed and drank with Lucien and Eris. Telling them the story of you and Azriel, drunkenly crying your eyes out with Lucien who responded with his own sad backstory. Eris looking at the two of you crying with a murderous look, when you forgot why you were crying and ran outside to try and domesticate a fox with Lucien on your coattails. You guys had succeeded much to Eris' dismay as he now had an entire den of foxes in his home. Eris only proclaimed it was bedtime when the sun had started to rise. He carried Lucien into bed first, who was much to drunk to protest. Then it was your turn, you insisted you needed no help but he got fed up and threw you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

He threw you onto your bed and then paused, his eyes glued to your right wrist. You look over to see what had drew his gaze and were shocked to find a stowaway shadow hiding on your wrist. It was the shadow. Immediately you remembered why you were here and felt the part of your that was missing from Azriel's absence. You try shooing it away wanting to send it back, you don't want Azriel to know the state you're in or worse have the shadow tell him about the bond.

"I don't think he controls this shadow anymore. Maybe it's because this is probably his first one." His first shadow? What does that even mean? "His first shadow should have a connection with him on a soul-level. It's basically an external manifestation of himself in it's purest form unlike the rest of the shadows. The first shadows rarely show themself, since they're the ones who called the other shadows in the first place. Not much is known about shadowsingers, but if he's leaving you his first shadow I wouldn't give up hope just yet."

You are about to give a retort, but he cuts you off. "I didn't say don't move on and try to live your life for yourself. Just don't be too closed off when the time comes. Goodnight, princess. I hope you had a good solstice." Eris says as he closes the door of your new bedroom behind him and you drift off to sleep before you could think too much about his words.

"Remembrance"

Warnings: none. Just fluff

Summary: Don comes home

Word Count: 897 words

A/N: this is based on the poem 'Remembrance' by Maya Angelou. I've been studying her poems and love them, so this definitely won't be the last time I will write something inspired by em! Anyway, when I was reading 'Remembrance' I couldn't help but think of Ressler so I had to write something. If I have to be the last writer of this fandom I will be, damn it!

Both of you laughed as you fell on the couch, Don landing on top of you with an oof.

"You're heavy!" you playfully hit his chest, still laughing.

He buried his head in the crook of your neck, but he did shift his weight off of you.

"Hm...I missed you," he said, his voice slightly muffled.

"You've only been gone a week," you reminded him, your hand trailing up and down his back, "I missed you too," you added softly.