scarecrow from the 1973 film. alter as needed.
- how you doing? you okay?
- up yours, you two-bit son of a bitch!
- you heading east, buddy?
- some corn flakes with a little milk. and some scrambled eggs. bacon. toast.
- i got the money to get us rolling.
- this your first day?
- hey, fella, you got nothing better to do than listen in on other people's conversations?
- i'm like the meanest son of a bitch alive.
- i don't trust anybody. i don't love anybody.
- we're gonna be partners.
- otherwise, i'll break your back.
- can i have a bottle of beer and a chocolate doughnut?
- man, i didn't start it.
- you get in a lot of fights, don't you?
- you think crows are really scared of a scarecrow?
- that's the most harebrained idea i've ever heard.
- i guess the fish are reciting poetry.
- it was just bullshit.
- you're not playing with a full deck, man. you got one foot in the great beyond.
- you didn't pick me. i picked you.
- that's as far as we can take you.
- shut the door, you big dope.
- these two guys go into a bar, right. and one guy says to the bartender, "two mugs." bartender says, "i know that. what'll you have?"
- i'm the tallest man in this bar.
- people can't stay mad at you if you make them laugh.
- i'll put you into the goddamn wall.
- gotta wash your hands first.
- ever see dawn from a ship?
- always made me feel like a kid.
- getting laid is sure good for my regularity.
- you should be more careful where you drop your drawers.
- it's like i've been asleep for nine years.
- the world goes on changing. there's nothing you can do about it.
- [name] has told me nothing about you.
- you cute little motor scooter, you.
- how come you wear all these clothes?
- ask me if i like you.
- what did you miss most when you were in prison?
- making pie. it's chocolate.
- there ain't no better sound on earth.
- you have your own place.
- it started back when i was in high school.
- screw the world.
- take it easy. you have a whole half a life to go.
- gee, i thought you'd never ask me.
- come on, then, my little darling. you get your little self right there.
- i'm headed for something. and it's gonna be big. i can feel it.
- she did things i didn't think you could do unless you were a snake.
- i was so drunk, i kept falling off the bed.
- this round's on the house.
- don't get upset. you gotta watch out for your digestion.
- are you ever coming back?
- that's real good, hon.
- what the hell are you laughing about?
- just drop it, will you? because i know what you're doing.
- want to dance?
- working, my ass.
- i want to tell you something. i don't want to see you, i don't want to hear you for a whole month.
- you were the guy who punched him, not me.
- come on. it ain't so bad. it was all just a joke.
- i don't want to talk. i want to be left alone.
- friend, i don't think you understand.
- with that attitude, you could end up on the hog farm up to your ass in pig shit.
- why don't you finish your dinner.
- you look tired, you know that, buddy? they working you hard?
- i think you'd make a good assistant director for my talent show.
- don't make fun of me.
- you used to look scary and ridiculous. now you just look ridiculous.
- you're also an asshole.
- that's because you're learning, you know? you're learning how to laugh.
- will you fuck off? jesus christ.
- you're going places.
- i'm glad you wore your sweater, because it's cold.
- just remember, all right, that you're a person.
- thanks for a big fat nothing.
- you stinking shit. you coward.
- you're my best friend.
- going to read your fortunes. hands out.
- put a peanut up your nose.
- what the hell's the matter with you?
- keep your voice down. this is a hospital.
- what have they done to you?
- look, you skinny little bastard, will you wake up?
- you and me, we think alike, don't we?
- i just can't make it alone anymore.
- i'm going to take care of you.