god has cursed me for my hubris

daddy's got to be honest kitten. i don't think we're finding the northwest passage

service industry conditions

This is so wholesome and HEALING. 🥰

This is my girlfriend (the original poster, Amy, I mean), and because she did this, every summer now I rent an ice cream truck for an hour and park it behind my local game store.

Hi!

I saw your tags, and I can attest that this story, in specific, is 100% true, as is the fact that in her honor, I now take an ice cream truck to my LGS every year (we've done it twice, that makes it "every year"). It's a small thing to rent an ice cream truck. It costs a few hundred dollars, so not everyone can do it, but it's 100% something you can do if you have the money and the whimsy and the desire.

This is not a difficult story to believe, which is good, because it's not a fictional story, either.

Underrated JRPG feature is when one party member uses some non-weapon object as a weapon, but you still upgrade your stats by buying weapons, so now every weapon shop in the world needs to carry parasols of increasing lethality

This post inspired by how Genis in Tales of Symphonia canonically uses a ball and cup toy (kendama) because he's a kid

But because everyone in the game also gets an Ultimate Evil Super Cursed Ancient Weapon, the game has to find a way to make an Ultimate Evil Super Cursed Ball and Cup Toy. You know. For evil children.

Item: Ultimate Evil Super Cursed Ball and Cup Toy

while you studied the blade i studied the forge so i could make you the very best blade in the world! love you baby

horrified to hear an NPC say this about the most wonderful animal of all time, miss pebbles herself

these people hate to see a mare winning

PEACE RESTORED EVERYONE!

I have this saved as you KNOW he would.png

vader: who tore the warning sign off of this wampa cage?? storm trooper: security footage shows it was removed by a golden protocol droid vader: LOL

Vader in RotJ: wait the Alderaan princess is my daughter?? don’t know how to feel about that.

Luke: she strangled Jabba the Hutt to death with a chain.

Vader: OH HELL YEAH

why would you hide this in the tags that’s hilarious

"ohh my god you can't just-"

Am I yours to command? Does the collar 'round my neck have your name on it? I kneel to no king nor god, and I see no crown on you.

you wear a collar

I may choose to kneel recreationally.

uh oh i miss something i can’t name again. i want to go home to something that doesn’t exist again. does anyone have a gun

Lil comic based on a true story from college.

Derek Buckner - Port Cranes, Sunlight on Water (c.2023)

told my parents i miss archaeology and my mom was, very sympathetically, like: “do you want to dig holes in the garden?” and i was like. yes. i want to dig holes in the garden.

my wife, after reading this to me aloud: It’s your people! …do you want me to break a clay pot for you to put back together?

me, burying my face in my hands: Maybe…?

These are both moods, but unfortunately I am primarily a bioarchaeologist. (IE, I specialize in digging up old human skeletons.) And, uh, home-made bioarchaeology is tragically discriminated against by law enforcement.

They need to invent more fake celebrities like Hatsune Miku and Gorillaz and the Muppets because it's genuinely the most sustainable way to maintain a parasocial relationship with the entertainer class.

Kermit the Frog can never get canceled because Kermit the Frog has no agency or personhood beyond what he is imbued with by the collective labor of puppeteers, voice actors, singers, and writers. He is, along with these other examples, effectively a celebrity by gestalt. He has transcended the inherit instability of the celebrity class through diffusion of responsibility for his personhood. He is a god.

so i’m currently working at a law firm and the other day one of the attorneys was talking to me and he mentioned that he’s “not very confrontational” and i was like you are?? a lawyer???

and he said “yeah but in court there are rules. i can argue with some shmuck in a suit in front of a judge no problem, but when i leave the courthouse and go home i’m not gonna argue with my wife about dinner. there are no rules in our kitchen. i would die.”

there are no rules in our kitchen.  i would die.