In a last ditch attempt to save your people, you offer your life to an ancient god of war and blood. Unfortunately, your translation of the ancient text was a bit off. You're married now.

See you space cowboy.

You're goddamn right it does.

Ever Seen A Baby Tapir Chew Its Food?

Point Defiance Zoo just announced that their Malaysian tapir Yuna gave birth to a calf on Sunday night 🎉

The squeaks. The wiggly snoot. The spots. The snooze. 🥹

Some of you guys have never burned a CD and it shows

Some of you guys don't even realise I don't mean setting a CD on fire

I've noticed that I really enjoy this aesthetic.

My car is getting serviced and this auto shop has a shop dog and he's ridiculous. Look at this guy. This is a grown ass man.

Today is hubs' birthday 🥰🥰

He told me he wants a movie date at the cinema as a present, so I'm about to get tickets for the Minecraft movie 😆 He said, and I quote, "I'd watch it at the cinema for shits and giggles" 😆

we listen and we take notes

But I also plan to get him a tiny cake to celebrate during dinner 🥰 Tho, idk if the cake can handle 35 candles 😅 might have to get a number instead 😅

a day night well spent 🥰

a really little animated black cat with giant eyes and no other discernible features

do you get it or do you not know anything

more examples that people keep getting upset with me for not adding

That’s just how black cats be

tomorrow im really gonna give it my nothing

tomorrow im really gonna give it my nothing

Can't be sincerely dark without being called edgy, can't be sincerely emotional without being called melodramatic, can't be sincerely silly without being called stupid. They're gonna hate every emotion you put in your art no matter what so make it anyway and be as sincere as you can be

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

i know what i’m doing dw

Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?

Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck

POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK

desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”

You're failing.

You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY

Pluto is Roman, not Greek

?????

Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.

I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me

HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*

I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe

Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano

FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER

Achievement Unlocked:

Lightning Bait

You're basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.

I need you to name every greek God you know and what they are for plz

For science

OKAY FINE HERE'S WHAT I'VE FOUND

ares is the god of war, not kratos

WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN

Eris dangling this concept in front of OP like "make the post, it'll be so funny. You know the name of some greek gods, you can do it."

op I'll give you a golden apple if you name the hottest goddess