'Lily is so entitled, argue with a wall. She is such a hypocrite!' (Snape vs Marauders rant Part 3)
There were so many comments under this post criticizing Lily for marrying Snape's bully and ruining his life, knowing that Snape liked her. They sympathized with him.
"SHE IS THE WORST EXAMPLE OF FEMINISM FOR CHOOSING A R4PIST!" I even saw such a comment.
Some even claimed that Snape betrayed Voldemort on his own record and not because of Lily. They thought that he did not fancy her but was a good person at heart who wanted to save everyone, and that's why he did so.
Hypocrite? Fake friend? Are we seriously talking about Lily like this?
Let's deep dive into their friendship story.
Young Snape was the one to approach young Lily first. They lived in the same neighborhood. Initially Lily was not glad to have him around since he looked down on her sister, Petunia, for being a muggle and insulted her (not as if Petunia didn't insult him back... Both were at fault.). She decided to ignore his pureblood ideology, thinking that he wasn't at all serious.
However, Lily stuck with Snape since she was a Muggle-born and had no idea about the new world that awaited her. He was her first and only wizard friend.
When she comes across James, he is an arrogant boy who is so full of himself. Yes, he was so extremely talented that people envied him. When he constantly kept asking her out, she was disgusted and annoyed. Snape kept asking her to stay away from James, knowing how arrogant James was and also probably because of jealousy, and she listened to him. (Yes, jealousy. Accept it or not, the books clearly say that everyone envied him. But he was so full of himself at that time that his big head outweighed his talents.)
As years passed, Snape interested himself in dark arts, and his pureblood ideology only deepened. Lily was left concerned about the influence his Pureblood Slytherin friends had over him. She constantly reminded him about their horrible actions and how dangerous they were, asking him to distance himself from them. However, Snape never listened to her.
Lily had always ignored his horrible influence and had always stood in support and defense of him until that one incident in the 5th year when the term 'mudblood' slipped from his tongue. That was when she realized that he had reached a point at which they could no longer consider themselves friends.
He had chosen dark arts over their friendship. For the sake of her self-respect, she chose to stand up for herself and not defend him.
(Mind you, mudblood is not something 'oh-so-cool' to say. It was a horrible and demeaning insult for someone.)
After the incident, she also found out that Snape was present with his Slytherin gang of friends, who picked on Lily's friend, Mary, who was another fellow Muggle-born and did horrible things to her. That was when she was horrified by the person he turned out to be and immediately decided to break the friendship.
Now, let's compare Snape and James and talk about how she made the right decision by choosing James over Snape.
Snape probably had fancied her; in fact, many did. However, he probably never had the guts to confess and ruin his long friendship.
But he definitely ruined the relationship by taking an interest in dark arts, evil and sadistic ways to harm people, inventing curses for such a sadistic purpose, and hanging around with pureblood supremacist Slytherins, who did horrible things to Muggle-borns like her.
'Mudblood' was never a slip of the tongue. He was not being forced by James at that time to call her that word. He did it on his own record.
He never defended and protected Lily's friend, knowing how disappointed Lily would be once she heard what happened to Mary. It could have been fear of being a target. But the problem is that he was never apologetic or guilty. While Lily accused his Slytherin friends, he kept defending them instead of feeling any remorse.
He chose his interests over their friendship. He definitely had a choice. Lily does not deserve to be hated for a choice he decided to make. If he suffered because of her loss from his life, he should have held himself responsible and not blamed James for 'stealing' her from him.
As time passed, Lily had thought that he would mature and give up on dark arts, but how wrong she was. He always remained an immature boy who never wished to grow up.
He had many talents that people were envious of. However, as I mentioned above, he was arrogant and so full of himself. Lily was right about feeling disgusted by the boy in the early years since he was a shenanigan. He was wrong to pick on Snape and, too, throw a spell at him while he was unaware and unarmed. How he publicly humiliated Snape can never be forgiven.
However, the reason why some Snape fans do not understand why James is considered to be better as a person than Snape is because he reflected on his past and grew up. There are definitely some James fans who justify the bullying, which is very wrong. However, if we were to talk about the unbiased Potterheads, James seems more redeemable than Snape. When James was made the head boy in the final year, he gave up on his stupid antics and lived up to the role and responsibilities.
It was actually Sirius who had a huge dislike towards Snape and wanted to trap him when Snape was desperate to find out Remus' secret and expose it to everyone. He had led Snape to the werewolf form of Remus, and James had to step in to save Snape from the danger.
After their final year at Hogwarts, James actively indulged himself in the 'Order of the Phoenix' to protect Muggle-borns, half-bloods, and half-breeds, who were in danger since Voldemort was rising to power and he was gathering more followers.
Let's keep feminism aside and not taint its name since feminism has nothing to do with romance.
(We are only here to debate why Lily chose James over Snape, not to justify James and Lily's relationship. Personally, both of them are a pile of shit.)
Lily chose a man who changed for her; a man who reflected upon his mistakes and improved himself just for her, a man who wanted to protect her from danger and protect everyone around her.
She gave up on a man who made her feel less, a man who insulted and looked down upon people like her, a man who claimed to protect her but ruined people around her.
She was a simple woman who chose a person who valued her, not devalued her.
So, my dear women (not just women, but everyone!), if you ever wish to be in a relationship, choose a person who is willing to improve themselves for you, protect you, and respect you. Do not choose a person who would want you to change yourself entirely for them and be forgiven every time due to sympathy.
Edit: Find a Ron. Both James and Snape are shitty people. If you ever find someone like those two, run as far as you can.
Believe me, I've had many friends in the past who made me feel less and made me change myself for them. I hung around them since I was not a social butterfly and had only them as close friends. But every time I hung around them, I would only feel insecure and disappointed.