"Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot"

"Crickets always chirp up the conversation"

"It turns out that Diet Mountain Dew is the same price in vending machines on campus as it is at local grocery stores, so Nami said she ain't losing any money buying it cold and fresh. Nobody can say she hasn’t done her Dew diligence"

"What language do bridges speak?

Span-ish."

"I bought a wooden car. It's got wooden engine, wooden doors, wooden seats, wooden wheels, even a wooden key. Guess what?

It Wooden start"

"If I don't wear a pocket watch..

how could i be ahead of my time!"

"What if the meteor that killed the dinosaurs was actually a space ship and we are the aliens?"

(source)

Rubber boi needs to finish bread first🥖✨

"Why do teenage girls travel in odd numbered groups?

Because they just can’t even."

"Why do bulls make terrible salesmen?

They charge too much."