theatre squid ramblings

yeah yeah, whatever. i'm in a really weird place rn, and i'm aware that this is self-destructive, but if i don't find this missing person, i don't think i can live with myself,,, and i know that i can't do the search alone and

🐻 AND?

and i'll admit that you were on,,, surprisingly decent behavior,,, during big run and all that. and thank you for keeping an eye on me when i passed out in the middle of the fight. i guess.

🐻 OF COURSE I'M BEHAVING WELL! I'M REFORMED :3c

YOU'RE WELCOME BTW. AND WHILE WE'RE MAKING CONFESSIONS, I'LL ADMIT THAT I WAS KIND OF MEAN TO YOU THE WHOLE TIME. SORRY.

THING IS, I STILL HAVE COMPLICATED FEELINGS ABOUT YOU. I FIGURED IF I WAS ANNOYING ENOUGH YOU'D GO AWAY AND I COULD STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU. STILL CAN'T :/

BUT CLEARLY YOU HAVE A THING FOR BEING DEGRADED SINCE YOU'RE TALKING TO ME NOW :3

first of all, fuck you. second, you apologize for the insults at big run but not,,, literally everything else you've done to me?

🐻 YOU WOULDN'T FORGIVE ME IF I DID SO WHY BOTHER? I DON'T NEED YOUR VALIDATION. I'M AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I'VE FOUND A MUCH BETTER SUPPORT NETWORK

🐻 BUT KNOW THAT I DO REGRET MY ACTIONS BACK THEN. I LOOK BACK ON MY ACTS OF TERROR AND THE WHOLE THING'S JUST KIND OF EMBEARASSING, YANNO?

yeah, you're right... i don't know if i have it in me to really forgive you. i just,,, want some closure, i guess.

🐻 CLOSURE AND A HELICOPTER RIDE

i'll do whatever (within reason, mind you) to repay you for your help.

🐻 DW ABOUT IT, I WILL GLADLY PROVIDE TRANSPORTATION AND GIRLPOWER OUT OF MY OWN POCKET FOR OLD TIMES SAKE! BUT ONLY ON ONE CONDITION

ughghghghgh,,, name your price...

🐻 IF YOU QUOTE ANY OF YOUR DUMB MUSICALS I WILL SPLAT YOU

deal. i wasn't even going to speak to you throughout this anyway

🐻 PROBABLY FOR THE BEST, I'M STARting to miss you agian and i really don't want to regress into who i was when we where working together...

ughghghghghgh i regret this already

yeah yeah, whatever. i'm in a really weird place rn, and i'm aware that this is self-destructive, but if i don't find this missing person, i don't think i can live with myself,,, and i know that i can't do the search alone and

🐻 AND?

and i'll admit that you were on,,, surprisingly decent behavior,,, during big run and all that. and thank you for keeping an eye on me when i passed out in the middle of the fight. i guess.

🐻 OF COURSE I'M BEHAVING WELL! I'M REFORMED :3c

YOU'RE WELCOME BTW. AND WHILE WE'RE MAKING CONFESSIONS, I'LL ADMIT THAT I WAS KIND OF MEAN TO YOU THE WHOLE TIME. SORRY.

THING IS, I STILL HAVE COMPLICATED FEELINGS ABOUT YOU. I FIGURED IF I WAS ANNOYING ENOUGH YOU'D GO AWAY AND I COULD STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU. STILL CAN'T :/

BUT CLEARLY YOU HAVE A THING FOR BEING DEGRADED SINCE YOU'RE TALKING TO ME NOW :3

first of all, fuck you. second, you apologize for the insults at big run but not,,, literally everything else you've done to me?

🐻 YOU WOULDN'T FORGIVE ME IF I DID SO WHY BOTHER? I DON'T NEED YOUR VALIDATION. I'M AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I'VE FOUND A MUCH BETTER SUPPORT NETWORK

🐻 BUT KNOW THAT I DO REGRET MY ACTIONS BACK THEN. I LOOK BACK ON MY ACTS OF TERROR AND THE WHOLE THING'S JUST KIND OF EMBEARASSING, YANNO?

yeah, you're right... i don't know if i have it in me to really forgive you. i just,,, want some closure, i guess.

🐻 CLOSURE AND A HELICOPTER RIDE

i'll do whatever (within reason, mind you) to repay you for your help.

🐻 DW ABOUT IT, I WILL GLADLY PROVIDE TRANSPORTATION AND GIRLPOWER OUT OF MY OWN POCKET FOR OLD TIMES SAKE! BUT ONLY ON ONE CONDITION

ughghghghgh,,, name your price...

🐻 IF YOU QUOTE ANY OF YOUR DUMB MUSICALS I WILL SPLAT YOU

deal. i wasn't even going to speak to you throughout this anyway

yeah yeah, whatever. i'm in a really weird place rn, and i'm aware that this is self-destructive, but if i don't find this missing person, i don't think i can live with myself,,, and i know that i can't do the search alone and

🐻 AND?

and i'll admit that you were on,,, surprisingly decent behavior,,, during big run and all that. and thank you for keeping an eye on me when i passed out in the middle of the fight. i guess.

🐻 OF COURSE I'M BEHAVING WELL! I'M REFORMED :3c

YOU'RE WELCOME BTW. AND WHILE WE'RE MAKING CONFESSIONS, I'LL ADMIT THAT I WAS KIND OF MEAN TO YOU THE WHOLE TIME. SORRY.

THING IS, I STILL HAVE COMPLICATED FEELINGS ABOUT YOU. I FIGURED IF I WAS ANNOYING ENOUGH YOU'D GO AWAY AND I COULD STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU. STILL CAN'T :/

BUT CLEARLY YOU HAVE A THING FOR BEING DEGRADED SINCE YOU'RE TALKING TO ME NOW :3

first of all, fuck you. second, you apologize for the insults at big run but not,,, literally everything else you've done to me?

🐻 YOU WOULDN'T FORGIVE ME IF I DID SO WHY BOTHER? I DON'T NEED YOUR VALIDATION. I'M AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I'VE FOUND A MUCH BETTER SUPPORT NETWORK

🐻 BUT KNOW THAT I DO REGRET MY ACTIONS BACK THEN. I LOOK BACK ON MY ACTS OF TERROR AND THE WHOLE THING'S JUST KIND OF EMBEARASSING, YANNO?

yeah, you're right... i don't know if i have it in me to really forgive you. i just,,, want some closure, i guess.

🐻 CLOSURE AND A HELICOPTER RIDE

i'll do whatever (within reason, mind you) to repay you for your help.

🐻 DW ABOUT IT, I WILL GLADLY PROVIDE TRANSPORTATION AND GIRLPOWER OUT OF MY OWN POCKET FOR OLD TIMES SAKE! BUT ONLY ON ONE CONDITION

ughghghghgh,,, name your price...

yeah yeah, whatever. i'm in a really weird place rn, and i'm aware that this is self-destructive, but if i don't find this missing person, i don't think i can live with myself,,, and i know that i can't do the search alone and

🐻 AND?

and i'll admit that you were on,,, surprisingly decent behavior,,, during big run and all that. and thank you for keeping an eye on me when i passed out in the middle of the fight. i guess.

🐻 OF COURSE I'M BEHAVING WELL! I'M REFORMED :3c

YOU'RE WELCOME BTW. AND WHILE WE'RE MAKING CONFESSIONS, I'LL ADMIT THAT I WAS KIND OF MEAN TO YOU THE WHOLE TIME. SORRY.

THING IS, I STILL HAVE COMPLICATED FEELINGS ABOUT YOU. I FIGURED IF I WAS ANNOYING ENOUGH YOU'D GO AWAY AND I COULD STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU. STILL CAN'T :/

BUT CLEARLY YOU HAVE A THING FOR BEING DEGRADED SINCE YOU'RE TALKING TO ME NOW :3

first of all, fuck you. second, you apologize for the insults at big run but not,,, literally everything else you've done to me?

🐻 YOU WOULDN'T FORGIVE ME IF I DID SO WHY BOTHER? I DON'T NEED YOUR VALIDATION. I'M AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I'VE FOUND A MUCH BETTER SUPPORT NETWORK

🐻 BUT KNOW THAT I DO REGRET MY ACTIONS BACK THEN. I LOOK BACK ON MY ACTS OF TERROR AND THE WHOLE THING'S JUST KIND OF EMBEARASSING, YANNO?

yeah, you're right... i don't know if i have it in me to really forgive you. i just,,, want some closure, i guess.

🐻 CLOSURE AND A HELICOPTER RIDE

i'll do whatever (within reason, mind you) to repay you for your help.

yeah yeah, whatever. i'm in a really weird place rn, and i'm aware that this is self-destructive, but if i don't find this missing person, i don't think i can live with myself,,, and i know that i can't do the search alone and

🐻 AND?

and i'll admit that you were on,,, surprisingly decent behavior,,, during big run and all that. and thank you for keeping an eye on me when i passed out in the middle of the fight. i guess.

🐻 OF COURSE I'M BEHAVING WELL! I'M REFORMED :3c

YOU'RE WELCOME BTW. AND WHILE WE'RE MAKING CONFESSIONS, I'LL ADMIT THAT I WAS KIND OF MEAN TO YOU THE WHOLE TIME. SORRY.

THING IS, I STILL HAVE COMPLICATED FEELINGS ABOUT YOU. I FIGURED IF I WAS ANNOYING ENOUGH YOU'D GO AWAY AND I COULD STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU. STILL CAN'T :/

BUT CLEARLY YOU HAVE A THING FOR BEING DEGRADED SINCE YOU'RE TALKING TO ME NOW :3

first of all, fuck you. second, you apologize for the insults at big run but not,,, literally everything else you've done to me?

🐻 YOU WOULDN'T FORGIVE ME IF I DID SO WHY BOTHER? I DON'T NEED YOUR VALIDATION. I'M AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I'VE FOUND A MUCH BETTER SUPPORT NETWORK

🐻 BUT KNOW THAT I DO REGRET MY ACTIONS BACK THEN. I LOOK BACK ON MY ACTS OF TERROR AND THE WHOLE THING'S JUST KIND OF EMBEARASSING, YANNO?

yeah, you're right... i don't know if i have it in me to really forgive you. i just,,, want some closure, i guess.

yeah yeah, whatever. i'm in a really weird place rn, and i'm aware that this is self-destructive, but if i don't find this missing person, i don't think i can live with myself,,, and i know that i can't do the search alone and

🐻 AND?

and i'll admit that you were on,,, surprisingly decent behavior,,, during big run and all that. and thank you for keeping an eye on me when i passed out in the middle of the fight. i guess.

🐻 OF COURSE I'M BEHAVING WELL! I'M REFORMED :3c

YOU'RE WELCOME BTW. AND WHILE WE'RE MAKING CONFESSIONS, I'LL ADMIT THAT I WAS KIND OF MEAN TO YOU THE WHOLE TIME. SORRY.

THING IS, I STILL HAVE COMPLICATED FEELINGS ABOUT YOU. I FIGURED IF I WAS ANNOYING ENOUGH YOU'D GO AWAY AND I COULD STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU. STILL CAN'T :/

BUT CLEARLY YOU HAVE A THING FOR BEING DEGRADED SINCE YOU'RE TALKING TO ME NOW :3

first of all, fuck you. second, you apologize for the insults at big run but not,,, literally everything else you've done to me?

yeah yeah, whatever. i'm in a really weird place rn, and i'm aware that this is self-destructive, but if i don't find this missing person, i don't think i can live with myself,,, and i know that i can't do the search alone and

🐻 AND?

and i'll admit that you were on,,, surprisingly decent behavior,,, during big run and all that. and thank you for keeping an eye on me when i passed out in the middle of the fight. i guess.

yeah yeah, whatever. i'm in a really weird place rn, and i'm aware that this is self-destructive, but if i don't find this missing person, i don't think i can live with myself,,, and i know that i can't do the search alone and

cod shucking dammit why do i keep putting people in danger,,,

you'd think i'd know how to deal with this situation because i've had a stalker before. but i basically just had other people deal with her for me. the most action i took was a lawsuit that never even went anywhere,,, how am i supposed to help someone who insists on trying to deal with it himself?

if this creep or whatever actually makes good on their threat, and he has to go into hiding... i'm just gonna be a liability if i were to try to stay with him. i've always been terrible at staying discreet,,, i'm a theatre squid for shuck's sake. being the center of attention is part of the job... not to mention the cubby post and the goggles incident

ughghghhgghhgh, he's better off without me. not only am i a beacon for trouble, i also continue to make other people's problems about me. memememememe. cod, i really am a drama queen...

You aren’t a drama queen. Normally i avoid mentioning too much of what I know about him since he doesn’t like it, but he’s having one of his episodes and he’s not checking chumblr. He answers his texts in even shorter responses than usual and when I do see him in his apartment he doesn’t let me stay long.

I don’t want to share too much. Just… old mindsets creep up to him sometimes. He gets it in his mind that somehow he would be better off returning.

Let’s just say if he did that he would never be allowed on the surface again. He already was viewed as incompetent because he didn’t do his jobs the way an “octarian should.” In reality he was just always overwhelmed and never given a chance. It took him forever to be allowed to do solo jobs, and that was a privilege he ended up using to his advantage to escape. He’d never get the chance again.

His school seemed pretty messed up. His supervisors hated him and felt the need to remind him that he’s lucky he’s good at the job. He’s told me what would have happened if he didn’t get his job. It’s… not good.

Basically, don’t blame yourself, ok? He cares a whole bunch about you, even if he is overprotective. He’s just in his head right now. If anything being with you would probably be safer than isolating.

He won’t like that I’ve shared even this much but it’s important. He has it in his mind that he has to keep you safe.

Hope this explains everything. I’ll try and coax him into being more talkative. He did pick his splatfest team so maybe it’s not as bad. Team morning is what he chose.

huh,,, guess the two of us have a lot more in common than i thought. i mean,,, i wasn't threatened by my teachers or anything like that, but... idk, just... make sure he's still doing ok, ig. tell him i love him and that i care about him,,,

cod shucking dammit why do i keep putting people in danger,,,

you'd think i'd know how to deal with this situation because i've had a stalker before. but i basically just had other people deal with her for me. the most action i took was a lawsuit that never even went anywhere,,, how am i supposed to help someone who insists on trying to deal with it himself?

if this creep or whatever actually makes good on their threat, and he has to go into hiding... i'm just gonna be a liability if i were to try to stay with him. i've always been terrible at staying discreet,,, i'm a theatre squid for shuck's sake. being the center of attention is part of the job... not to mention the cubby post and the goggles incident

ughghghhgghhgh, he's better off without me. not only am i a beacon for trouble, i also continue to make other people's problems about me. memememememe. cod, i really am a drama queen...

this whole octoweapon debate is shucking stupid,,, making me feel like i have to pick a side or something. cyclone has a point, i'd probably be really weirded out too if some big cultural thing i cared about was being sexualized like that. but i also kinda get where nautalie's coming from what with how daunting the idea of intimacy is,,, i can't say my feelings about it are the same as theirs but it's,,, adjacent to that, i think? i won't get into detail since i've had enough personal stuff about me exposed on the internet, but yeah...

i think i'm gonna stay out of this from now on,,, hate the thought of having to choose whether to side with my boyfriend or my best friend over something so emotionally loaded.

Don’t stress it too much. I just get heated about topics like this.

Uh anyway I may not go outside ever again hahahahaha I hate everything

wait what happened

Some racist inkling got a bit too upset with my opinions on the octoweapons

Anyway worst case if someone from the domes tracks me down I’ll literally just live with the salmonids.

How did someone even recover my old name? I never brought records of that on the surface.

yikes,,, is there anything i can do to help?

Don’t stress it too much. Worse case I just have to hide.

If they search for me then there’s nothing much I can do.

Same as always, I live life, don’t keep my head up too high, trade. I’ve never thrived out in the open. Keep my grizzco shifts, because I know Atlas would understand if my situation got worse

If anything does happen, don’t try and rescue me.

You’d never make it back to the surface.

"if anything does happen, don't try and rescue me" last time i heard that, it was out of my mouth and i was shucking suicidal.

cyclone,,, i... i can't come up with any words that make sense rn, but i worry about you,,, all the coddamn time. ever since mitralypsis... if those other guys weren't there, you would've died. like really dead, no respawner or anything. i watched you fall out of the sky, and i couldn't do anything,,, and sure we both managed to survive but...

i know you're telling me to butt out of it to protect me or whatever, but have you REALLY considered that this kinda thing goes both ways? i almost lost you before, and this really sounds like i'm gonna lose you again and i can't handle that... not after making all these plans for my future, with you being a part of it. just,,, be careful ok?