welcome to my mind cave

why does autofill want me to go evil mode

Big day for trans people tomorrow

jesus christ

i think sydney was the type of kid to steal stickers from the dollar store and hand them out to people at lunchtime in elementary school

The spirit of this reminded me of a fun story: When I was 14, I was very into Neko Atsume. An acquaintance and I were most fond of Miss Fortune and Lexy, since Lexy had "expensive tastes" as her trait, and Miss Fortune was clearly... of fortune. We had this whole world AU where Lexy and Miss Fortune were lesbians, with Fortune being a business CEO type and Lexy being her sugar girlfriend. We did honest to god angsty roleplays of these two. From Neko Atsume. And we had fun.

You really can make anything, and enjoy doing it. If you're worried that your self insert or whatever is cringe, you cannot go lower than Neko Atsume lesbian Skype roleplay. And I had a great time too. That's the funniest part. It was awesome.

i was driving with a friend and sharing a bag of those chalky conversation candy hearts with her, and letting her control the music bc i was behind the wheel, and as i was directing her to queue up songs from the great gatsby she noticed that the slur song was in my library… and i thought nothing of it, we listened to like 3 songs from gatsby

and then i crunch on a heart at the exact same moment as i hear

in this training module (2.5—)

and i LOST MY SHIT and choked on the heart laughing, coughed my guts out for like 3 minutes and nearly crashed the car

omg that is so funny but im glad i didn't kill u!

Hey everyone, Dave wants to know if #SlurMasturbationChallenge is something that would go viral on this "app". Could be the next planking or icebucket.

Torn between introducing Dave to the concept of irony or seeing how far this rabbit hole will go

CONSIDER: yes #slurmasturbationchallenge would go viral. but have u considered an alternate title: all nut april. get it like no nut november. you should fire dave and hire me

Worst part is I did not hire Dave I just hit him up for advice but I am sorely tempted to keep working with him just to keep these unhinged suggestions rolling

Me: Repeatedly and increasingly attempting to flame out and destroy any semblance of a career in music

The Tumblr community every time:

Maybe if you public started saying slurs, that would get the people against you

you're not gonna believe this

i spoke to a music business person and they said i should try to stay relevant by posting things that seem intimate yet relatable to fans in a way that makes them feel like we're connecting on a deep level, so just letting you guys know i did a really good cum yesterday hope that makes you stream my song <3

I think he likes it

I really feel like the posts by bigfoots biggest fan speak to me. They like to cum, I like to cum too!

They are so relatable, I really want to listen to more of their music now!

Yay, thankyou! Survey to help prove to the music executives how much people love Bigfoot's Biggest Fan and/or cumming:

lol

It's kinda funny when you get a bunch of likes but no reblogs like I enjoyed your post but I'd prefer if no one else saw it

It's a guilty pleasure nobody else can know I'm this fucked up

Reblog if you enjoyed this post but would prefer if no one saw it

Rock like that good for bludgeoning

i will kill every advertisement in existence

fascinated by the nurse who did my mental health assessment who was apparently so allergic to the concept of they/them pronouns that they unprompted decided i'm a she/he instead. it's so bizzare it kind of loops back around to based tbh. i'll take it.

[Image IDs: three sections of text: "He describes her pace as very slow;" "He takes her medications on her own accord" Suicidal Ideation: She sometimes has thoughts of ending his life" /end]

Me when my medical practitioner is a time traveller from 1732