Is this thing on?

things librarians judge you for:

things librarians do NOT judge you for (unless they’re bad at librarianing):

things librarians judge, but don’t judge YOU for:

In college, I volunteered in an elementary school library for a semester. I would get so excited when kids would take books off the weekly displays! Something about what that week's theme resonated with them and they wanted more!

There was also one parent who would come in and check out about 20 books under their kid's name. I heavily judged the computer system for getting angry after the third book in the pile was scanned. The public library is too far, just let this family borrow some picture books, damnit!

One time this man approached me in a bar talking in Spanish. So I assumed he was Spanish and we started speaking, we had a whole ass conversation and at some point he was like. So what part of Spain are you from? And I said well I’m Italian actually. What part of Spain are you from? And he was like. I’m Greek.

One time I was in Argentina and I was so tired of trying to speak Spanish because I’m not very good at it lmao so I broke into exasperated English and the retail seller girl quickly understood me and engaged me in conversation. We talked for a while, she introduced me to a makeup brand, and then I decided to buy it. While she was packaging the purchase, she asked me if I were from the US or perhaps the UK and I just said “oh no I’m Brazilian hahah” and she looked me straight in the eyes and said, in clear Portuguese, “I’m Brazilian too”

When my dad went to China on a work trip, his Mandarin speaking wasn’t great but his listening was fine (his first language is Cantonese) and he encountered a German guy who had moved to China to work. My dad knew how to speak German because he studied it in university (but wasn’t great when it came to listening to new vocab he hadn’t studied before), and the German guy knew Mandarin because he lived and worked in China, so they had a conversation where my dad spoke to the German guy in German and the guy responded in Mandarin. I’m sure it confused a lot of their coworkers who just saw the Asian guy speaking German and the white guy speaking Mandarin.

Some years ago, I worked for a manufacturing company that had a service depot in China.  One of the engineers from the main office here in the US spent most of his time at the depot.  The problem was that he didn’t speak *any* of the various Chinese languages, and no one at the depot spoke any English. They all, however, spoke Spanish.

In the before times, I do medieval recreation. At a larger event, I watched someone from a group from Japan speak to a merchant from a group from Norway in English. They were speaking about old Norse costuming. We were in southern Arizona.

lil nas is part of the category of musicians whose music I don’t actively listen to, but every time I see something about them, I’m like “you go you funky little artist”

.

so at what point does it stop being candy making and start becoming small device machining?

before the video even started, i said aloud ”it’s that fucking chocolate guy again”

[image ID: Text reading Texas State Aquarium staff stated that the animals have been getting a little restless. One of the employees had an idea to let some of the land animals spend time with some of the sea animals, and it has worked out brilliantly.

Putting the sloths near the dolphins was the biggest surprise of all. The dolphins are absolutely delighted with the sloths, and the sloths, normally very quiet animals, have been squeaking replies back to the dolphins for hours at a time. Who would have guessed these two species would be such a great match?

There is a photo of two dolphins in a large pool, their heads peeking out above the water to look at a brown sloth, who is hanging on a branch. End ID]

As alien species encounters go, this is like the absolute best possible outcome

Okay but in the video the dolphins swim upside down like they’re imitating the sloth and it’s real cute.

THANK YOU FOR FINDING VIDEO! IDK WHY I DIDN'T THINK TO CHECK YOUTUBE! THIS VIDEO IS AMAZING!!!

Here are even more animals visiting each others!!

Oh my gosh, thank you for sharing this! This is so precious!!!

lmao all the animals are all like What, In the name of FUCK? Is THAT?

#wish someone would carry me around on a stick to visit other animals for my daily enrichment

you'd think that demons would have a lot more sympathy for the virgin sacrifices and a lot less for the guy holding both of them captive against their will

guy wearing a hooded robe and holding a tome of ancient magic: o foul demon, i have summoned you here to -

the demon, walking straight past the sacrifice and towards the guy who summoned them with murderous intent: is this guy bothering you queen?

'i have summoned you demon!'  'uh no you haven't. i don't see you bleeding out in the middle of the summoning circle'  'then... then why are you here?'  'SHE summoned me.'

@the-knights-who-say-book​ how could you leave this gem in the tags???

fake relationship but its a king and his concubine that was once an amazing soldier but he couldn’t go up the ranks for whatever reason so the king was like listen. hear me out. you can be my strategy dude. u just gotta be okay w walking around shirtless a lot. and soldier dude is like man that’s an UPSIDE and yknow they end up falling in love

some idiot advisor: I can’t believe his majesty lets his boytoy attend these council meetings, it’s an insult to the noble institutions that uphold our nation, it’s an outrage—

a somewhat smarter advisor: you’re just mad bc he pointed out how dumb your naval attack strategy and no one laughed when you made a mean joke about him

Boytoy has gone from a top fighter who was well respected but in constant danger to wearing silks and eating grapes on daises. That fucked up rotator cuff was the best thing to ever happen to him

Bonus points: at least half the other concubines are experts in assorted fields, the monarch brings them to relevant meetings to both play up a reputation for frivolity, and make sure at least one person there doesn’t have an outside agenda.

my harem? 

did you mean: my chief strategic advisors

The kingdom is an absolute monarchy but the harem has become a secret meritocracy. The nobles and official advisors kind of side-eye His Majesty because wow some of these consorts must have like…really good personalities. Kings of the past have had their own specific tastes of course; size, shape, age, color, et cetera. More than one ruler has interviewed consorts feet first and Ardwin the Adventurous’s obsession - God rest him - with snuffling armpits like a sow rooting for mushrooms is well known despite never being alluded to in polite company.

The worst part of it is that the new king takes at least part of his harem with him everywhere and it’s so embarrassing. The Counselors of War have never once met with His Divine Majesty without that hulking battle-scarred consort interrupting with muttered growls or scornful snorts. And the Ministers of Finance all flinch at the sight of that fox-faced one, rumored to have been rescued from the gallows because His Augustness took a fancy to his eyes or some such nonsense. General petition days are even worse, with practically the entire harem drifting in and out of the Grand Hall in turns, insouciant and smug like granary cats who know they’ve been given full run of the courtyards and barns.

It’s absolutely infuriating that the kingdom has never before known such a period of peace and prosperity under this ridiculous monarch.

Tag to this - the biggest secret is the Queen who runs the Kingdom’s spy network. It’s the envy of all the other Kingdoms around, and not a few nobles! Not ALL of the Kingdom’s Diplomats are spies. But many of their servants are. The Queen grew up as a neglected child, and she learned how servants are ignored, but who always know everything that goes on. Many of the spies are like the Queen - beautiful and seemingly vacuous. The sp[ies tend to have great fun, and also work closely with the Concubines

#everyone is furious when the king picks his bride #a minor princess! of a minor ally! she’s not even that pretty or smart or anything! #but at least when the king marries her he’ll have to get rid of his harem #or at the VERY LEAST stop FLAUNTING them everywhere #if nothing else her family will object to this insult to her honor

#BUT THEN

#somehow she’s befrIENDED THE CONCUBINES

#sometimes they follow HER around!! in public!! 

#the king and queen are  s h a r i n g  t h e  h a r e m

#never has the court been so furious and scandalized all at once #it’s a genuine shock to all of them when ten years later no one has even once tried to overthrow the royal family #(they’re wrong there have been no less than thirty attempted coups twelve of which nearly succeeded) #(but the harem and the spy network are VERY good at their jobs)

One of my fav things about Gandalf is, he can & canonically does Full Name hobbits when he’s angry like he’s their mum or something

important follow up Qs:

1) does it frustrate Gandalf that he can’t do this to Bilbo & Frodo with the same impact bcos they don’t have nicknames

2) does he do it to non hobbits

Gandalf, in the distance: ARAGORN SON OF ARATHORN

Aragorn: oh shit I’m in trouble

I think when Gandalf is pissed with Hobbits he reverts to the extremely formal  Mister Baggins!

you’ve cracked it, that’s absolutely what he does

you know how mad he is based on how far back into your lineage he goes, consider:

Mild: Meriadoc Brandybuck! (last name only, you’ll probably live)

Mad: ARAGORN SON OF ARATHORN! (now your ancestors are involved, bad)

Murderous: THORIN, SON OF THRÁIN, SON OF THRÓR! (you are maybe about to meet your ancestors, via Gandalf… and not glorious battle) 

The scary thing about Gandalf is he’s been around long enough to have met your entire lineage, so the recitation has more oomph.

“I knew your great-great-great-grandfather and he, too, was a bitter disappointment, but not as much as you are in this moment”

…what???

this is a universal experience because education is chronically underfunded across the world

The floors were always a little squishy

squishy? the entire building would shake if someone walked across the wrong part of the floor. which was the whole floor. and they're just squeezed into whatever part of campus the semi can drop it off in.

Well, this course change fucked SOMEBODY’S schedule up, because I’ve officially been enrolled into my Old English class.

So…yay for incompetence and a really great job that is flexible around my course schedule?

I don’t understand, what happened? Did they clarify the duration of the class? Did your boss confirm a new schedule? WE NEED DEETS, PHI.

I double-checked with the professor and she said it’s a two hour class.  So.  I dunno.  But basically someone dropped the class because I was added from the waitlist to the registry.  

My supervisor emailed me back and she said the course change was fine, we’d confirm my new schedule tomorrow.  

In conclusion, this job is attentive to my needs and welfare, NYU doesn’t give a flying fuck.

Here in Argentina it’s very common for masters and doctorate classes to happen after 6 PM, because you assume 90% of the people taking the classes work 9 to 5 jobs. It does mean classes can run pretty late (most of them were three hour classes from seven to ten) but it also meant no scheduling conflicts. I’m sorry for the person who was screwed over, hope this didn’t affect their overall goals too much.

class schedules depends on area. i graduated from a four year university that offered post grad during the day and night. however, i was on a branch campus instead of the main campus. the branch shared with the local community college. the campus share was split up that the community college used the campus predominately during the day, and the university after 5 or 6 pm. this did let post grad students take classes after work.

Hey now, you’re an all star

listen to what I orchestrated

SoundCloud

THIS IS FUKING AMAZING WHY CANT I SPREAD THIS EVERYWHERE I WANNA SHOW IT TO EVERYONE. LITERAL GOOSEBUMPS

composer IN progress????

NO, YOU ARE READY FOR THE WORLD. IN FACT, THE WORLD IS NOT READY FOR YOU

I love this

4-2-2011

I never considered baby capybaras were a thing but here I am, d'awstruck but the tiny adorable child

babybara

holy shit

“Hey Dad, wake up”

Anyone else seeing what I’m seeing?

I was very concerned until Dad's ear moved.

"Before dawn he's your son. Sarabi? Aw, hell."

Owner asks dogs to hide because customer is scared of dogs

(via)

Translation

[Three dogs are sleeping on a welcome mat of a shop of some kind. A cat is nestled in between them.]

Owner: Customers are coming. They’re scared of dogs. Hurry up. Customers are coming.

[Dogs slowly get up and walk off to the back in single file. Cat remains on the front step. Just before the last dog enters the back room, the owner calls out again.]

Owner: Teng (Dog’s name), go get Xiao Bao (Cat’s name) too. Go fetch Xiao Bao

[Dog turns back to the entrance and gently drags the clearly reluctant cat back inside. The owner speaks softly as the dog approaches the camera]

Owner (softly): All right, put (the cat) down.

[The owner gives what looks like dried jerky to the dog]

Owner: Let Xiao Bao eat some. Let Xiao Bao eat some.

[The dog takes the jerky and lowers his head so that the cat can nibble on the other end]

This is literally the best video I’ve seen in my entire life

I’ve reblogged the video before. The translation brings it to a new level of niceness.

The cat! Being dragged!! Asdfjsdklfj!!!