SENTENCE MEME ⟶ DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES / 8.1  always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

• ‘there’s no task more unpleasant than getting rid of an unwanted guest.’
• ‘is this happening? are we really doing this?’
• ‘everyone stay focused. the hardest part is over.’
• ‘how is it going to be okay? someone is calling the dead guy.’
• ‘he has a home… with people who care about him, people who are doing to come looking for him, leading them straight to us.’
• ‘we could still go to the police.’
• ‘he broke into your house. he threatened you. we could explain that.’
• ‘we are going to get caught. people always get caught.’
• ‘we can’t do this. we’re not criminals. we drive carpool.’
• ‘got up early, so i figured, what the heck?’
• ‘i didn’t sleep last night. but you would know that. you were there.’
• ‘do not drink this. it’s been in my car for three days.’
• ‘where are your shoes?’
• ‘are you sure this is about the kids?’
• ‘don’t take this the wrong way, but you could do this professionally.’
• ‘coming from a man who’s on a first-name basis with half the hookers in this down, that’s quite a compliment.’
• ‘your friends don’t like me.’
• ‘i’m a cop. i got an eye for human behaviour.’
• ‘i know what’s going on. you’re trying to distract me with sex, and if that’s the case… bring it on.’
• ‘wake up! i made you waffles.’
• ‘come back when you learn how to make mimosas.’
• ‘why have you been so short-tempered lately?’
• ‘look, i get it, okay? but we have to move on with our lives.’
• ‘no matter what i do, it’s this horrible thing that is always there.’
• ‘a priest can’t share what you say in confession.’
• ‘are you sure he’s not just gonna make you feel guiltier?’
• ‘i need to get this off my conscience. it’s tearing me apart.’
• ‘i was looking out the window, and i noticed dust in the corner of each windowpane. it’s been driving me nuts.’
• ‘well, there’s a lot of weird stuff you like to do in the bedroom, but cleaning… not so much.’
• ‘you don’t sleep. you don’t eat. you never leave the house.’
• ‘definitely rich. check out the car.’
• ‘definitely single. check out the fish.’
• ‘and let me just say, i can tell you one thing that isn’t wonky.’
• ‘oh, come on. i’m married, i’m not dead.’
• ‘i can still imagine all the dirty things i’d do to him.’
• ‘i’m telling you, that is one loose cannon.’
• ‘he’s that good in the sack?’
• ‘i poked her with my pencil a couple times. she is d-e-a dead.’
• ‘i’m sorry. it’s just you’re, like, a thousand years older than me.’
• ‘man, the things i’ve heard. there was a lady yesterday who… no, no, no, i can’t say it.’
• ‘i’m so bummed i can’t tweet anymore.’
• ‘i made out with two chicks once in college.’
• ‘i don’t know if you’ve ever buried anything before, but you have to dig a hole.’
• ‘i wasn’t even supposed to be here today. once again, in the wrong place at the wrong time.’
• ‘does that mean she deserved to die?’
• ‘now let’s all slap on a happy face and pretend like this never happened.’
• ‘i’m really not feeling like drinking right now.’
• ‘first, you stop talking to your friends. now you’re wigging out at a rat funeral. you’re making me nervous.’
• ‘well, i’m sorry i’m not handling accessory to murder as well as the rest of you.’
• ‘i know you’re having a hard time, but please hold it together.’
• ‘terrific. i found a dead body.’
• ‘drop it off in a bad part of town, and let social decay… take its course.’
• ‘it was easier when i was drunk.’
• ‘what should i do? should i gun it?’
• ‘she could’ve been married, but, no, she’s a lesbian.’
• ‘i chew tobacco. and i’m a woman.’
• ‘when you start something, young man, you see it through.’
• ‘look, i’m single. you’re single. i’m hot. you’re hot. assuming you’re not gay, and those shoes tell me you’re not, we could do that thing where we flirt for a few weeks.’
• ‘when i said “coffee”, you did know i meant sex, right?’
• ‘you should write a book. otherwise, when you die, your secrets will die with you.’
• ‘for instance, if we were talking about a crime… then confessing to the authorities would prove the intentions of our heart.’
• ‘you can’t ask to be absolved for a sin that you intend to keep hidden.’
• ‘there is no absolution for this thing. i just have to live with it.’
• ‘every noise i’d hear at night, it was him. every dark alley i passed, he was waiting for me. when i’d lie in bed, i was afraid he’d come find me. he was in my dreams… and in my nightmares. and that’s what i had to live with.’
• ‘if you wanna get back together… i’m open to that.’
• ‘this is such a scary time, and i really need you.’
• ‘you know what you do when you’re scared? you buy a night-light. you don’t go have sex with the guy you are supposed to be separated from!’
• ‘you know what’s gonna affect my marriage? when my husband goes to prison.’
• ‘you elected yourself chairman of the dead guy committee and started making decisions for everyone. like you always do.’
• ‘ow! i told you we couldn’t trust her!’
• ‘we are never gonna be able to tell anybody about this, are we?’
• ‘it’s good to have friends who help clean up our messes.’