Despite everything I am normal

@murraysiskind

20s / stupid / I like da movies

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

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mattheuphonium

fabulous 

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tockthewatchdog

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

I love when household beasts are like whoa. You were gonna piss all on your own? No backup or companionship or anything? Babe. I got you. I'm right here. You don't have to be alone during this difficult time (pissing), and you won't be. Ever. This is not a discussion.

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Managers buying snacks for the break room are like everybody likes bizarre pseudo healthy mom snacks for blonde children right. These weird gelatinous fruit bars will be a hit won’t they. Surely nobody wants goldfish crackers

Managers come back from the store with one can of polar seltzer you gotta split five ways and snacks you didn’t know could exist

Managers buying snacks for the break room are like everybody likes bizarre pseudo healthy mom snacks for blonde children right. These weird gelatinous fruit bars will be a hit won’t they. Surely nobody wants goldfish crackers

'newly cut californian abalone mabé pearls display a variety of shapes' in pearls: a natural history - american museum of natural history + the field museum (2001)

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