Shoutout to my dad who accidentally moved into an up and coming black lgbt neighborhood and was very disappointed to learn that all of his “new friends” weren’t actually interested in how to use iNaturalist or where he saw coyotes on his walks 😔🙏🏻
You misunderstand. My father has accidentally been on multiple dates now with multiple guys he was hoping wanted to be friends 😅
fuck i’m trying to catch all these flies but they think my vinegar is stupid. i have honey also but that’s for me i can’t give them any of that
management trying to hire and retain employees
Saw this an immediately thought of bunny-wan
it is screaming bunnywan omg
and i do love that bunnies are apparently capable of such brutal passive aggressiveness
(i imagine obi-wan does something similar with like meditation, where he and anakin are bickering over something stupid and anakin storms off to work on a ship in the hangarbay and get his anger out and obi-wan flounces walks with great dignity to sit beside the ship and meditate like ''i'm giving my totally understandable anger to the Force even though it's totally justified to be annoyed at you but im giving it to the Force cause I'm a happy bunny good Jedi and you're behaving like a miserable excuse for one")
sometimes when I’m being especially self deprecating and convinced no one likes me I have to tell myself “you’re being goob. you are being goob right now”
Girls will be boys
Boys will be girls
Fascists will 💖 be shot💖
The amount of terfs I blocked on this post, that complained about the fascist part is very telling.
why does this look like two hardworking men who never had time for romance and yet found love in their old age
My favorite thing about J. Jonah Jameson is that he just hates Spider-Man. He supports mutants and doesn't hate enhanced people. He's not racist, sexist, homophobic, or transphobic. He just hates Spider-Man. And I'm half convinced that he's faking for the publicity.
He'd probably get pissed if he hears someone hating on Spider-Man for being enhanced.
"Spiderman isn't a menace because he can climb walls! He's a menace because he's climbing walls without a license or safety equipment! He's setting a bad example!"
"I just want you to know that you that your identity as an enhanced person is valid. Your identity as Spiderman is trash."
EXACTLY! THANK YOU FOR THE FANMAIL. BIGOTRY IS WHAT’S RUINING THIS COUNTRY! BIGOTRY AND SPIDER-MAN!!
When I tell you that I wasn't expecting JJJ to be on Tumblr
I should've expected it. But I didn't
day 1 at the communal puzzle club: i see a puzzle with a sign next to it that says "please help with our communal puzzle" and i say to myself "don't mind if I do" and did the whole thing
day 2 at the communal puzzle club: i get gently reprimanded for not sharing the puzzle experience with the others. in my defense I thought they needed all the help they could get
day 3 at the communal puzzle club: we start a new puzzle and i put one of the pieces in my pocket and save it for later so i can be the one who puts in the last piece
day 4 at the communal puzzle club: the puzzle is almost complete so i reach into my pocket and realize i left the last piece in my other pants which are currently in the washing machine. i feign ignorance
day 5 at the communal puzzle club: the others are suspicious but they have no proof. they check my pockets before i leave but little do they know that this time i ate the pieces
day 6 at the communal puzzle club: i put an entire bottle of miralax in my coffee to get the pieces out of my digestive system but they are too far dissolved to be usable. my stomach is in so much pain and i can't stop shitting but i rinse off what's left of the pieces and make it to puzzle club anyway, only to find out they don't meet on mondays. i am inconsolable.
day 7 at the communal puzzle club: i realized those pieces are incriminating evidence so i slipped them in someone else's pocket. i should be good as long as they don't find residual traces of my dna
day 8 at the communal puzzle club: there is an odd feeling in my gut. i feel as if something has been awoken in me
day 9 at the communal puzzle club: i am in such deep focus that the others are starting to fear me. either that or they are cowering away from the communal puzzle out of sheer respect for my skills
day 10 at the communal puzzle club: i'm getting better and better, i can now do several puzzles in one day. the others are discussing what to do about me in hushed tones. little do they know my laser focus allows me to hear everything they say. they aren't a threat.
day 11 at the communal puzzle club: the club manager unlocked the door but already i am inside. ive been here all night doing puzzles in the dark. they threaten to ban me from the club so in response i pick a 500 piece puzzle at random and complete it in under 45 minutes, just to show them who the real authority is
day 12 at the communal puzzle club: i have been officially banned from the communal puzzle club. in a fit of rage i grab as many pieces as i can and eat them, making sure to thoroughly chew and swallow every single one. if i can't do them, no one can.
day 13 at the communal puzzle club: it's monday again. the club doesn't meet today. it's the perfect opportunity to break in and do as many puzzles as my heart desires, without any of the club's petty drama to distract me
day 14 at the communal puzzle club: i am in jail because the club manager snitched to the cops like the pathetic weakling they are. this is the worst night of my entire life there aren't any puzzles here
day 15 at the communal puzzle club: the judge let me off with a restraining order since I didn't actually steal anything. i show back up to communal puzzle club just to make a show of ripping the order to shreds. no piece of paper will dictate my life, only jigsaw-cut cardboard has that power. nothing else.
day 16 at the communal puzzle club: everyone is so quiet today when I walk in. I eat some pieces in a show of force, just to remind everyone who's in charge. I comment that they taste somewhat like strychnine, they say it's just because Ravensburger has a new method of chemically processing their pieces. sounds plausible. 30 minutes later i am convulsing violently but i beg them not to call an ambulance until i finish the puzzle i was working on. but the bastards don't listen and I'm shipped off to the hospital kicking and screaming.
day 17 at the communal puzzle club: i spent the night in the hospital. a detective comes in and says they're investigating the manager of the communal puzzle club for attempted murder and asks what i know. i tell him honestly that i ain't no snitch and spit in his face. he says they have more than enough evidence to prosecute regardless.
day 18 at the communal puzzle club: the club manager is on trial for attempted murder and i am called as a witness. i tell the judge that i ain't no snitch and spit in his face. i am held in contempt of the court
day 19 at the communal puzzle club: the defense makes a plea of justifiable self defense, citing the restraining order that isn't even 1 week old. somehow the judge buys that flimsy defense. i mean, this is the same judge who didn't even recognize me from that same case despite being the same judge. i think the poor old man has dementia so i make a motion for a mistrial. it gets shot down because the system is corrupt.
day 20 at the communal puzzle club: the judge says i should get jail time but he decided i should be in a mental facility instead. i don't know why he would think that, i have been nothing but sane my entire life. god forbid a woman have hobbies
day 1 in the psych ward: they have puzzles in here this is amazing
day 2 in the psych ward: all the puzzles are missing a few pieces. this is unacceptable. im going to go insane
day 3 in the psych ward: i have been informed that they do not use the word "insane" in here so i take back my previous statement.
day 4 in the psych ward: i need to find those missing pieces i need to find them i need to find them i have been questioning everybody all the nurses all the doctors all the patients all the miscellaneous hospital staff but nobody knows anything. this is hopeless. i will never be able to overcome this trauma. my life is over
day 5 in the psych ward: it's so boring in here. without complete puzzles there's nothing to do except watch tv but the only channel they get is the local news. i begrudgingly watch out of nothing but all-encompassing ennui. but one of the stories is about the communal puzzle club and suddenly i am overcome with nostalgia. turns out there was a series of alleged poisonings attributed to that location. strychnine was found in three people so far, one of whom was myself. but the others didn't survive. this confirms my suspicion that i am in fact the chosen one
day 6 in the psych ward: with a renewed sense of purpose i will attempt to convince the doctors of my "sanity," but i also came to the realization that they don't care about sanity, they only care about sedation. they want to supress my passion, eradicate my truth, condition me to fall in line with the rest of the "sane" people. with that knowledge, i was able to tell them everything they wanted to hear. i acted polite, pretended i was cured, i even feigned complete disinterest in puzzles! it made my stomach boil but i did it, i convinced them, and just like that, i was free.
day 28 at the communal puzzle club: i don't know why everyone was so surprised to see me again, it's only natural that i'd come to finish what i started
(i know this is supposed to be day 27 at the communal puzzle club but day 27 was a monday so nothing happened) like what am i gonna say, "day 27 i sat alone in my studio apartment eating cereal and biding my time"
day 29 at the communal puzzle club: the communal puzzle club has been disbanded, the club manager has been arrested, and the whole place is swarming with cops. i watched as they hauled off a bunch of expensive looking printers and like a billion reams of paper and loaded them onto a big police truck.
apparently, the communal puzzle club was just a front for document forgery and counterfeit cash, and i had been inadvertently sabotaging them this entire time. which is sad because i support both of those things. but it also explains why they met 12 hours a day, 6 days a week and why they had their own building despite having no profit model and also why i was the only one who seemed to actually care about the puzzles. everyone else was too busy making fake passports to care.
in hindsight, i always knew they were all a bunch of casuals. but i didn't mind because they had so many excellent puzzles. I asked one of the officers if i could at least have the puzzles but he said they were already taken and locked away in the evidence room. the thought sickens me- all those puzzles, gathering dust, never to be assembled again. or maybe the pigs just took them for themselves! so they could have all the puzzles they want while the rest of us ordinary, law-abiding citizens have nothing to do except die of boredom!
the moral of the story is that we can never have nice things because of the fucking pigs. fuck the police.
it's really weird having a first dog be blind and then getting a second who can see...like how was I supposed to be prepared for this.
this creature can perceive when I put the treats up on the high shelf. or when I hide stuff behind my back. I can't fool her!! she's always watching me and she shouldn't have this much knowledge!!!
I walk around at night and I shine my flash light directly into her eyes and I'll just be standing there staring at her weird blue orbs for like 5 seconds until I realize it's probably extremely annoying to her, because she has eyes!! I'll turn on the light in the room and she gruffs and grumbles like ?? oh right!! light wakes you up!! the fuck??
the absolutely wild implication of this, that god was previously playing fast and loose with his own acts of good and evil but then had to start being considerate about what he was doing because now mankind is watching and we know.
God's worst mistake was opening our eyes and mouths, for now we can turn to him and name his sins
one of the lines of all time
We never really talked about it but The Ugly Ducking that grew up to be a beautiful swan was still probably pretty fugly from a duck’s perspective
Like that story isn’t about an ugly duckling that grew up sexy, it’s a fucking swan was judged as a duck and hated itself as a duck until it found out it wasn’t a duck and stopped trying to be a duck.
The actual ducks in the neighborhood were probably still looking around at perfectly normal swans like “damn, look at those busted ass ducks”
This is pretty important, actually. The good ending is finding the other swans, not tearing yourself to pieces trying to impress the ducks.
NO YOURE SO RIGHT Obi wan is not a brawler, but he is a big fucking rat. Like Marchand levels of ratness (let’s not talk about the trade or I’ll cry).
im just imagining hockey player anakin being very petulant that he's being told off for fighting by assistant coach kenobi even though he's definitely been baited into fighting kenobi on the ice, like, just a year ago!! and he's like 'YOU got in fights all the time!!'
and obi-wan does the really hot thing where he grabs onto anakin's head and shakes him by the hair (gently cause concussions can be a bitch and after this last fight, skywalker is on concussion watch) and he's like 'yes but i didn't get caught fighting back. and you keep letting them hit you, you fucking idiot' etc
and anakin would have a snappy reply but actually his mouth is really dry right now and he's suddenly way more concerned with if his locker room clothes (half-undressed, heading for the shower) is enough to cover his, uh, response. to his coach's manhandling and very authoritative voice
Hahaha i loved the pregnant one! What about the #19 with obikin please?
aw thank you!! and yes, here you go! tbh i had like....no idea what to do with this one but...enjoy!
[5. 'are you jealous' - 13. 'kiss me.' (LATEST) - 14. 'hey, i'm with you, okay? always.' - 18. 'this is the stupidest plan you've ever had. of course i'm in.' - 24. 'you're the only one i trust to do this' - 27. 'i'm pregnant' - 28. 'marry me?' - 29. 'i thought you were dead' - 32. 'i think i'm in love with you and i'm terrified' - 37. 'wanna dance?' - 44. 'if you die, i'm gonna kill you' - 41. 'you did all of this for me?' - 46. 'hey, have you seen...? oh']
19. 'the paint's supposed to go where?'
Anakin looks around at the assembled members of the Council, but no one is smiling. He risks a glance at Obi-Wan, only to find his master looking just as confused as he feels. This is both not a good sign, because that means the Council has gone so rogue that not even Obi-Wan understands what they're up to, and a great sign, because it means that Anakin isn't alone in...whatever this is.
"A break?" He repeats. The word sounds as foreign as it feels for him to speak. "You want me to...take a break. From the war."
"Not a matter of what, it is," Grandmaster Yoda assures him as he crosses his hands over the handle of his gimer stick. "Need a break, you do. Need a moment for yourselves, you both do."
"I quite disagree," Obi-Wan says immediately, and Anakin feels himself relax. If his master can be counted on for anything, it is to disagree in such well-articulated manner that other people just sort of get tired of arguing. "Perhaps a short wartime leave for General Skywalker would be permissible, even recommended, but I can assure you that I need no such intervention."
Anakin scowls. His master can't be counted on for anything these days. How could he have forgotten? After Rako Hardeen, after everything....
"A rest, you need as well, Master Obi-Wan," Yoda disagrees, sounding stern. "Asked for much from you, we have. Spent too long on the front lines, you have. Forgotten life outside the war, you both have."
"We're generals," Anakin points out, crossing his arms over his chest. He glares at the wall somewhere above Yoda's head. "I would think you'd want us to be focused on the ongoing war effort."
Padmé Amidala concepts by Iain McCaig and, last image, Dermot Power.
More Star Wars later. I’m reading the ART OF books right now; that’s why you’re seeing more Star Wars than usual. See, when I was reading Andy Warhol’s diary I posted about Warhol a lot, when I was watching TWIN PEAKS I posted art and things by David Lynch—whatever I’m into, you see it here. I’m not that hard to figure out...
"they took pluto from you" "they took dinosaurs from you" "they took neptune from you" grow a second personality trait and stop getting upset that our understanding of the world has grown since you were in 3rd grade
They took naptime from you
actual thing to be legitimately upset about to be honest. napping can be healthy
