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²³⁰ clay ⋆ he/him ⋆ nineteen
squid game, resident evil, dead by daylight, and an american werewolf in london enthusiast. always looking for mutuals!! thangyu truther and claire redfield’s malewife.
other account is @transgoodman for aawil posting and my ao3 is zcmbee. contributing to the thangyu nation in the only way i can with shitty text posts and headcanons.
divider by roseschoices
feel like sharing this super cool commission i got from @ tenghostsofvoid because it’s a mixture of my super cool autism powers …. squid game and an american werewolf in london
gore warning
the people (me) crave thangyu streamer au. idc who the streamer is. i need it. #woke
rival streamer au where nam-gyu posts an anonymous confession google form for his chat and there are just four in a row from an anonymous thanos in graphic detail on how bad he wants to hit. people definitely know it’s him. he denies it every time.
i was quite rudely reminded that thanos was going to kill himself before the games and ended up dying anyway, so hear me out if you will.
nam-gyu leaves the games through vote and with his little earnings, puts some of it towards a proper grave for thanos and decidedly tries to leave everything about him at that.
he doesn’t want to acknowledge the “feelings” he had for thanos. he refuses to. he doesn’t want to remember how the only semblance of happiness he had in the games was by thanos’ side. when he does remember, he shrugs it off as the effects of the drugs he was under at the time. he tries to make himself believe that he only hung around him for the drugs and the power, that being around thanos’ gave him some sort of status and safety in the games.
unfortunately, the bridge thanos almost killed himself on is in the city closest to nam-gyu. he passes by it everyday on his way to work. it’s hard not to recognize it when every second he had spent in that prison was burned into his memory against his will.
he wanted to forget thanos, forget his feelings, yet every time he passes that damn bridge he feels remorse. he feels guilt. maybe if he had voted no at least once, they could’ve gotten out and he’d still be alive. he would’ve hated his guts, he would’ve never seen him again, but at least he’d be alive. he tries his hardest to remember the pain thanos put him through, how much of a dick he was and how he was only a tool in his manipulation, yet he can never bring himself to truly be mad.
he never lingers around thanos’ grave, the only time he visits is to change out the bundle of purple irises for a new one and that’s it. he really only sees the bridge as a place of remembrance. after all, no body lies in his grave. thanos probably never even stepped foot in that cemetery. the bridge is the only place, aside from the club, that nam-gyu knew thanos once stood. so, he decides to frequent the bridge every now and then.
he’s not an emotional sap, he doesn’t break down crying or talk to somebody that isn’t there. he just sits at the bridge and uses it as a place to just…relax. the bridge, oddly enough, becomes a place of peace for him. no thoughts, no sadness, just peace. it’s the one place that can calm him down or empty his mind. he doesn’t have too much belief in spirits or god or anything, but when he’s at the bridge, he doesn’t feel alone. for once in his life, nam-gyu feels content, and he’s okay with that. and if he failed to forget about thanos, then so be it. thanos isn’t the type of guy you can forget anyway.
