Fic List and Status Updates

Souls Adrift on a Sea of Stars (Supergirl) (Aka the Supercorp Pirate AU) Chapter 2 currently in progress! Monthly updates planned to resume in September.

Friction (MATURE): (Supergirl) Chapter 4 of 5 completed and awaiting edits. It also grew another chapter lol ;)

The Light and the Knight (Supercorp): Outlining in Progress, Drafts/Vignettes Written Untitled (Supercorp/Curse of Strahd Crossover): Outlining in progress!

Embers (Supergirl/Red K! Kara) Nothing to Fear (Supercorp vs Bat Villains, Supercorp vs. Their Own Issues) Good Vibrations (MATURE): Fluffy Supercorp Smut. #KryptoniansCanPurr

Coverture (MCU, Sylvie/Loki)

They didn’t know Alex was watching them.

She was the only one awake- Kelly was sleeping in near silence, her breath tickling Alex’s throat, as her head lay pillowed on Alex’s chest. After the reception had formally drawn to a close, the core group, the Superfriends, had all moved on to the sprawling mansion that Lena had generously rented for them to inhabit for a few days before Alex and Kelly left for their proper honeymoon.

Alex was the only one awake. They’d all be tired and hadn’t even finished the drunken game of monopoly they’d begun for old time’s sake. Kelly had changed out of her wedding dress and Alex out of her suit and they lay curled up on a loveseat beside the crackling fireplace. Nia and Brainy were in a similar state on the couch. Between them all, Kara’s little doggie monopoly piece remained where it had last landed on Park Place, forcing her to declare bankruptcy and, of course, end up ceding all her deeds to Lena.

The game was essentially over at that point and everyone knew it, so the drinking began to lubricate the passing of stories and telling of tales. A second buzz in the same day always hit harder than the first and everyone fell asleep where they sat, except Alex.

She had a sick terrible feeling in her stomach, not of regret surely, but a dread she had trouble explaining. It finally hit her as she watched the firelight dance across Kara’s features.

Something had changed. Something was over, a page turned to a new chapter. One where, Alex somehow knew, their lives would no longer revolve around alien insanities and mystical calamities. The world was settling, shuffling back to the state it was in before Kara caught that plane all those years ago and announced herself to the world.

A more normal time, calmer, changed perhaps in many ways but just… life.

Now that Alex was at the threshold with her toes curled back from it and unsure if she was ready to cross, she felt a little loss. Her future was looking less superheroic and more soccermometic; Kelly had her two-thirds of the way convinced to reactivate her medical license and join a practice. When everyone talked about their futures the sounded mundane, even Kara was more excited about her big new job and chasing her dreams.

Wait.

Alex was wrong. Kara was awake, she was just so utterly entranced that one might be misled into thinking that she was merely dreaming.

Kara and Lena somehow ended up in a wide chair together, curled up in a tangle of limbs, wrapped in Kara’s cape as a blanket. Lena was tucked in under Kara’s chin on Kara’s lap, clearly in a deep, peaceful sleep.

Kara, however, was very much awake. She held Lena in a particular way, at once shockingly gentle and fiercely protective, making a fortress of her arms. Kara was intently focused on her chair-mate, either staring at her with the most pitiful expression of fear and anxiety or nuzzling her nose into her dark curly locks and sighing.

Alex frowned, unsure what to do or say. Her sister looked pained, as pained as Alex had ever seen her. She knew for a fact that she and Lena weren’t fighting- they spent more time together than ever now; it had started with them effectively splitting their time between their respective apartments but over the last couple of months had shifted to Lena, for all intents and purposes, shacking up with Kara. They spent no more than one night in ten apart and of those nine they were together, eight seemed to be at the loft.

Whenever Alex set foot inside, Lena was simply there, for no special or particular reason, the two of them just sharing the same space casually and naturally.

So why did Kara look so broken?

“Hey, kiddo,” Alex whispered. “Why the long face?”

“I can’t talk about it now.”

“Why not?”

“I just can’t.”

“You guys didn’t have a fight or something, did you?”

Kara was quiet for a time.

“I think I waited too long.”

“For what?” said Alex.

“Don’t you know?”

Alex furrowed her brows, watching intently. Lena stirred, perhaps nudged towards consciousness a little by their murmured conversation and the urgency in Kara’s soft voice.

Then it hit her. Indeed, it struck her like a physical force. Kara looked down at Lena again and Alex gasped at the realization, wondering how the hell she had missed this, of all things.

She’s seen Kara smitten before, like she’d been with Kenny or the fuckboi from the dickhead planet. That was different. That was not this. Kara looked at Lena like she might not be able to breathe if she let her out of her sight.

Oh. Oh shit.

“We’re all moving on with our lives,” Kara whispered. “Taking new jobs, getting married, starting new careers. What happens when she’s too busy for me, Alex? When she finds somebody else and wants a real family and a real life and not… whatever we’re doing? What happens when…”

Kara must have noticed, her incredibly unfair super senses alerting her even before Alex noticed that Lena was awake, her blue eyes dark and soft in the flickering light.

Total silence fell over the room; all Alex could hear was Kelly breathing against her.

“I have a real family, Kara,” Lena said, softly. “They’re right here. You’re right here.”

“Lena?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Lena said, lifting her head gently from Kara’s face. “Ever. I promise.”

They stared at each other for long heavy moment and said nothing. Kara’s eyes were so soft, her gaze so heavy with love, beyond love, adoration, almost worship. Lena gave her a little smile and looked up at her through her lashes.

“Oh for fucks sake, will one of you just goddamn do it already?” Alex blurted.

To her surprise, or maybe not, it was Lena who crossed the gap, who sealed the deal. She was the one who kissed Kara but in moments it didn’t matter who started it, and Kara simply stood and lifted Lena with superhuman ease and was already carrying her up the stairs.

Silence again fell on the room.

“Querl,” Nia said, from the couch.

“Yes?”

“You’re from the future.”

“Indeed.”

“You knew the whole time, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Oh come on!” Nia snapped.

“I’m trying to sleep,” said Kelly, prompting Alex to snort.

Finally, they all did.

Kara let herself drift, push this way and that on the wind as it swirled about five thousand feet up. Her attention wandered, from the flights taking off over at the airport to the cars and pedestrians far below. Her vision relaxed and she looked up to see the solar winds scatter off the atmosphere in a riot of color that no one else could see. If she tried, she could see the chaotic chorus of WiFi signals and radio waves colliding with each other and scattering among the clouds.

She couldn’t sleep, so she drifted. Sometimes she wondered exactly how she was able to fly- she had no idea herself, she just did it. She wanted to fly and she flew.

A crisp cold wind snapped around her, billowing out her cape. Kara wasn’t bothered by the cold, merely aware of it. It was a December night and while it was fairly warm down below it was cool up here.

Kara rolled and lay on her back in the air, then rolled again and looked down, arms spread like a swimmer in a dead man’s float. The sounds of the city filled her ears and she sifted through them. Maybe if she picked up on a crime, she could fly down and take care of it and go home to sleep.

The city was peaceful tonight. Nuts.

As she focused her attention on this sound and that she found herself focused on a particular one: Lena. Specifically, her heartbeat. Once she found that sound it was trivial to focus on it, and hear her voice.

“It doesn’t matter, Sam. She’ll never want me like I want her.”

Kara froze, completely still, not even breathing. She should stop now, turn away, leave her friend to her privacy.

Lena… liked girls? She. She said she. As in another woman. Who did she mean? Kara didn’t know of any women she was close to, but then, Lena was a private person despite their growing closeness, she-

“She has to be straight,” Lena was saying. “I tried everything. I filled her office with flowers, I bought the damn company for her. What do I need, my own personal Bat Signal?”

Kara dropped fifty feet without even realizing.

She was talking about… no… that wasn’t…

What?

“I can’t just ask her out! What if she gets all weird and I lose my best friend? Not to mention the power imbalance, I’m technically her boss… what? No I did not make myself her boss to justify not asking her out! Sam!”

Lena huffed and Kara could hear her pacing her penthouse.

Lena liked her. She like-liked her. She was talking to her friend about asking her out. She was… in lesbians with her? No, that’s not how you say that.

“Fuck,” Kara muttered. What was she going to do now? She couldn’t just fly down there and say something.

She’d been spying. Eavesdropping. She had to stop this, fly home, maybe call Alex. Sleep on it and figure out what to do.

As her heart pounded in her chest and her pulse throbbed in her ears, Kara began to realize something.

She had felt things around Lena. Weird little things like a fluttering in her belly and a sudden nervous energy and this intense need to be around her, to just look at her. Her emerald ocean eyes and sharp jawline and the way she would tilt her head just so and look at Kara like that and it would make heat pool low in her hips. She could listen to Lena talk about anything for hours and just drift on the currents of her voice, so soft and smooth.

Then there was also, well… Lena had to have caught her looking.

Kara’s heed snapped up and her eyes went wide.

Holy shit, she was in lesbians with Lena too.

(That’s not how you say it)

Kara yanked her phone out and called Alex.

“Kara? What the hell is that noise? Are you in a wind tunnel?”

“I’m flying. I couldn’t sleep.”

“It’s four in the fucking morning and I’m on day watch. What do you want?”

“I’m in lesbians with Lena.”

There was a long, vaguely exasperated pause.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I,” Kara began, “I was kind of listening in and I heard some stuff.”

She told Alex what that stuff was, then listened as Alex turned her mouth from the phone and talked to someone. She heard Maggie’s voice as she cackled violently.

“I fucking told you!” Maggie was laughing.

“Kara,” said Alex. “Please be normal about this. Go home. Make a bushel of frozen potstickers. Sleep it off, decide what to do in the morning.”

“Okay,” Kara sighed.

She resolved that she would only do a quick flyby, just to make sure Lena was okay. She wouldn’t even get that close.

When she passed by, Lena had hung up her call and was sitting on her sofa with a glass of liquor in her hands, the most forlorn look in her eyes as she stared at it.

Kara, she decided, should go home.

She landed on Lena’s balcony and rapped gently on the glass. Lena yelped and surged lightly to her feet, almost dropping the glass, and stared.

For a moment Kara could only stare. Lena had her hair down and it made her seem soft and vulnerable as she warded off the chill with a hoodie and sweats. She was the most cuddly thing Kara had ever seen.

“It’s not locked,” she said in her soft, husky voice.

“You should lock your doors,” Kara said as she stepped inside, closing the door.

“We’re on the twenty-eighth floor.”

“Good point,” said Kara.

“Is there something you need help with, Supergirl?”

Kara looked at her for too long a beat. She could still turn back and come back the next day or meet Lena for lunch like they planned or… or…

It didn’t matter. This problem would be there no matter what she did and the longer she waited the worse it would be.

“I have to tell you something,” Kara said softly.

“What is it? Did something happen? Do you need me?”

Yes, she wanted to say. I’m… I don’t know how to say this and I’m worried I’ll mess it up.”

Lena looked intrigued and more than a little nervous. Her throat bobbed and Kara felt an instinctive tug towards her, a need to shelter Lena within her arms.

“My real name,” she began, “is Kara Zor-El. I carry the name of my father, Zor-El. When I arrived on Earth my cousin fostered me with the Danvers family, so I took their name. So my full name is Kara Zor-El Danvers.”

Lena looked at her for a long moment.

“I know.”

Kara flinched. “What? How?”

“You aren’t subtle. I’ve been keeping you from getting fired for every time you run off from work with nothing to show for it. The first time you came to my office, you were with Superman. The next time you came you said you flew there on a bus.”

“Wait, you know… you know Clark is…”

“My brother was his best friend before he tried to kill him.”

“Why didn’t you call me out? Say anything?”

Lena’s tongue flashed across her lips and Kara watched intently as her heart raced and a storm of emotions flooded her face.

“I think was hoping you would tell me yourself. That you’d trust me.”

“I should have said it sooner. After you saved my life.”

“Why now? Why tonight?”

Kara froze.

“I.. heard you. Talking to your friend. I didn’t mean to, it was an accident. I was just riding the wind because I couldn’t sleep. Sometimes… sometimes I just need to know that you’re okay.”

Lena was staring at her.

“Oh my God,” Lena choked out. “Oh my God, Kara. You weren’t supposed to hear that. This is so fucking embarrassing. I can’t believe, listen, it doesn’t mean, it’s not like… I hope we can still be… fuck!”

“Ilikeyoutoo,” Kara blurted.

Lena’s eyes went comically wide.

“You… you what? You do? What do you mean you like me?”

Kara felt her own mouth go dry.

“I… think about things, and at first I thought I was jealous of you because you’re so pretty but then I started thinking about, um, kissing you and stuff even though Kryptonians don’t really do that, and it was confusing but… I think I feel like you feel.”

Kara realized she hadn’t moved. She squared up and crossed the rooms, the weight of the cape on her back giving her a little push of confidence. Lena watched her approach with keen interest.

“What do we do now?”

“I… I don’t know. I’ve asked people out and been asked out plenty of times but I have no idea how this works. This is a lot, Kara. You’re supergirl… and you like me.”

Lena set the glass aside. She was barefoot and Kara was in her stacked heels, so Lena was looking up at her. Kara felt seven feet tall. This tension suddenly lay between them, and Kara wasn’t sure what she needed to do except that she needed to handle this delicately.

So, she brought her hand up and tenderly pushed it beneath her curls to lightly cup her cheek, a flood of heat passing through her body at the softness of Lena’s skin. She was soft and velvety and warm and Kara thought her heart might burst through her ribs for its jackhammering.

Lena leaned lightly into the touch. Feeling bold, Kara put her other hand on the small of Lena’s back and stepped in close, tipping down like a fairytale prince about to kiss the fair maiden.

Kara paused to whisper “is this okay?” and Lena replied with a gentle brushing of lips that made Kara’s knees feel weak.

“Mmm. Very okay.”

Lena slipped her arms around Kara’s waist and pressed close and Kara was instantly aware that she was wearing nothing beneath her pajamas.

“Should we go out on a date?”

Lena smirked. “I think we’re past the awkward icebreaker questions, darling. I think that if you want… third date activities are on the table.”

“Thir… oh. Oh.,” Kara said. “Oh, okay.”

By morning, Alex had texted five times, ending with WHERE ARE YOU?

“Getting breakfast with Lena,” she texted back.

She had been both dreading and anticipating this moment. The portal platform activated, the display confirming that the arrival was from Argo City. Purple hues danced across the strange crystalline walls of the Fortress of Solitude and Lena held her breath. This was not going yo be an easy reunion.

Lena still found it difficult to believe that he would ever trust her. The Man of Steel. Superman. Kal-El of Krypton. Karan’s cousin.

Clark.

He was dressed not in his super suit but a garment akin to a tunic bearing his colors and crest and he was not alone. A tall, narrowly built and energetic woman accompanied him, carrying a baby on one hip and guiding a toddler boy by the hand on the other side.

Lois Lane had a peculiar quality; she was thin and wiry and not conventionally lovely but somehow dominated every room she occupied with the same sheer force of personality that had captured the heart of the perfect man from the sky. Lena had fond memories of Lois when she and Clark and Lex were all friends in Metropolis, before her brother had gone mad. Lena was only a teenager then and intimidated by Lois.

Kara took a half step to greet her cousin, then paused. He wasn’t here for her.

The cyborg.

Half machine, the Kara of an alternate world, one that was erased in the Crisis-that-was-not-a-Crisis, was in many ways a sad, harrowing creature to look upon. Half her face was missing, replaced with gleaming steel, and Lena had recently replace a chunk of Kryptonite in her chest with a safer power source, one that powered the machinery she needed to live without torturing her at the same time.

“Who are you?” the cyborg rasped, her voice distant and tinny, ever on the verge of tears.

Clark shot Kara - their Kara- a brief glance, and they did that annoying silent-nod thing they did with each other and Clark approached their guest.

Though Clark towered over both Karas -he was the among the tallest men that Lena had ever met- Lena knew that Kara overmatched him in both speed and raw strength, had actually witnessed them fight once when Clark was not himself. Still, he cut a regal and imposing figure. Kara wore her heritage like a mourning shroud as often as not, but Clark carried his like a banner.

The cyborg regarded him uneasily.

“Who are you?”

“My human name is Clark Kent, but I am Kal-El, the son of Jor-El.”

The cyborg looked up sharply and met his gaze, unwavering. She reached up with both hands, one unnaturally cold flesh and the other a skeletal claw, and lightly brushed either cheek.

“I never knew you on my Earth. I was sent by portal, not by pod, and there wasn’t enough energy to open it again before Krypton exploded.”

There as a brief, heavy pause and then he gathered her broken form in a bear hug and held her. The peculiar rasping noises she made turned out to be sobs, as she tried desperately to cry with the only tears her abused form could muster, a thin trickle of blood from her remaining eye.

“I was always alone. I was the last of my kind.” She drew back and looked at him. “You were a baby. You’re so big.”

“Kara tells me they’re taking your Lena to Themyscira, is that right?” Clark said, releasing her.

“Yes. I don’t know what that means. There was no such place where I came from.”

“They’ll help her. I can’t go, it’s a place of women.”

“I’m going,” said Lois. “I’ve never been and it sounds like you could use the moral support. Clark can watch the boys for a few days.”

Cyborg Kara edged closer to her and they spoke in hushed tones, about what Lena wasn’t sure.

Her attention was consumed by Clark as he loomed over her.

“Lena,” he said.

“Clark,” she said.

Kara walked to Lena’s side but said nothing, making a more profound statement by draping her arm protectively around Lena’s waist.

“Kara told me quite a bit about everything that’s happened between you.”

“She has?” Lena said, cautiously.

“I have,” said Kara.

Clark looked bemused. “You both think I’m surprised, but I was there when you two first met and I have super-senses. I’m not sure which of your hearts was beating harder. It was just a matter of time, really.”

“It was our, ah, guest that pushed me to speak up,” said Lena, “to tell her how I feel. After that it was just… natural.”

Kara looked at her and Lena forgot everything. The biting cold of the Fortress, the weight of Superman’s gaze, the presence of Kara’s tragic doppelgänger, everything but the pure look of adoration in Kara’s silly smile. It was like the cyborg had told her that night she first appeared in Lena’s apartment: there was something fundamental between them, a link that could not be explained, not even quantified. It seemed silly to think about it in such terms but once Lena just let go of her fear and accepted it, it was as much part of the world as sunshine and birdsong. They belonged to each other as surely as the moon belongs to the sky.

“You two should visit,” said Clark. “Introduce Lena to your mother.”

“Clark,” Kara said, uneasily. “Krypton… how would I introduce her? I’m not going to pretend that we’re not together. Our language doesn’t even have a word for queer.”

“It does now,” he said. “Things are changing. They’re looking to the future, not the mistakes of the past.”

“Maybe we’ll visit,” Kara said, “but we have something to do first, someone who needs our help.”

That someone was being brought through now. The alternate Lena was an unsettling sight- Kara may have already met clones and parallel universe copies of herself but Lena was new at this and it was hard to process.

Inside the stasis pod, her twin was not quite her twin; older and leaner, she had laugh lines around her mouth but there was a worn quality to her beauty; even in an artificial sleep it was obvious that her closed eyes had seen too much.

“You’re going to be okay,” Lena told herself as Alex walked up.

“It’s time,” she said.

| This is an act of pure self indulgence, because this one made me sad.

This was a new thing, fragile and beautiful. These moments had always been awkward before- Kelly wasn’t often at the Tower, but when she was she would give Alex the classic gift for luck and Nia and Brainy would have their little moment and Lena would awkwardly stand there and wish Kara good luck or something before they all ran off to fight the alien or… whatever.

Now it was Lena’s turn and she was going to savor it. She sauntered up to Kara, enjoying the look of surprise on everyone’s faces as she placed a soft, chaste kiss on her lover’s lips. Kara deepened it, bracketing Lena’s waist with her powerful hands. Standing there in her boots and cape, Kara was like a storybook night, even grinning like a teenager.

“What the hell was that?” Alex blurted.

“You all do it. Can’t I give my girl a good luck kiss?” said Lena.

Alex gaped at her. Nia began to giggle and Brainy nodded slowly, a secret smile on his face.

“How long?” Kelly asked.

“About five years,” said Lena, “it just took a while to figure it out.”

Kara nuzzled her nose into Lena’s hair and a deep rumble buzzed in her chest as she purred in delight.

“Is she purring?!” said Kelly.

“She does that,” Alex sighed. “Come on everybody, cowboy up and let’s get this guy bagged and tagged. I want to be back here for our victory dance in twenty.”

Lena stood next to Kelly and watched them leave.

“Have you ever thought about going with them?” said Kelly. “You’re a billionaire witch, you could probably-“

They were both cut off by the resounding boom behind them, and Lena whirled as a portal opened right in the middle of the Tower.

Lena watched in shock as Kara walked out. Not her Kara, another Kara from another timeline, a sickly, wounded woman with half her face and her arm and leg missing, replaced by sleek blue metal, and a blazing chunk of Kryptonite where her heart should be.

Kelly let out a shocked yelp and danced back, but Lena stepped forward.

“She won’t hurt us,” said Lena.

Then, she saw what Kara was carrying. Who she was carrying.

The Lena in her arms was not a mirror image. She was older, thinner, short hair streaked with gray and a patch over one eye, and she hung limp in Kara’s arms.

“Help her,” Kara rasped in her mechanical growl. “Please, Lena. Don’t let her die.”

“Come on,” Lena said, to Kelly. “You’re a doctor, you can help me.”

“I’m a psychologist, Lena.”

“Fine, you’re smart and you have hands. Kara, bring her to the medbay.”

“You’ll have to show me. We didn’t have one of these in my world.”

Lena nodded and led them down to the level below and directed Kara to lay… Lena on one of the beds and waved for Kelly to bring her instruments.

“What happened?”

“There was another me there,” said Kara. “She was wrong, broken… not like me. She took over her world, her Lena died, she kept mine like a pet.”

Lena looked at her.

“The Kryptonite has its uses,” Kara said, coldly.

Lena pressed a hand to her other self’s shoulder, shaking her gently.

“Lena,” said Lena. “Lena, can you hear me?”

“She has a pulse,” said Kelly, “but it’s faint. She’s breathing.”

“The Other,” said Kara. “She said she implanted some kind of device in her chest, triggered it before I…”

The Lena on the table convulsed, foamy spittle spraying from her mouth. It took Lena and Kelly to keep her from bucking off the table as Kara clutched the side of her head and wailed in rasping torment.

“Please don’t let her die, I can’t live without her. Please not now please.”

“She’s not going to die,” said Lena.

At that very moment, Kara -her Kara- walked into the medbay with Alex. As she approached, the protective Kryptonite suit formed and snapped into place around her.

Alex drew her alien pistol and aimed at the Other Kara.

“Get away from them.”

“Alex, no,” Lena shouted, stepping between them.

Her Kara gently pushed Alex’s arm down, sweeping her aim away.

“What happened to you?”

Other Kara rasped, “Lex. Killed me. Metallo protocol. Sent Lena to the phantom zone. Help her.

Alex holstered her weapon and rushed over, gently moving Kelly aside.

“Fuck, she’s not breathing, something is choking her. We need to get a breathing tube in.”

“Lena, do you have your watch?” said Kara. Her Kara.

“Yes.”

“The Fortress. Now.”

Lena nodded and stepped away from the table, activating her portal watch. The portal boomed open and Kara gently shouldered her cyborg doppleganger aside and took the dying Lena in her arms, and rushed through the portal, and Lena followed.

The cold was a shock but Lena didn’t care as the adrenaline roared in her veins.

“Follow me,” Kara said, before blurring away into the Fortress.

Lena ran after her, Alex and Kelly in tow.

“What is this place?” Kara rasped.

“The Fortress of Solitude,” said Lena. “Kara’s cousin built this place with Kryptonian technology from his pod.”

“Cousin?” said the cyborg. “Pos?”

“Don’t you have all this stuff on your Earth?” said Alex.

“No. I was teleported to my Earth, not sent aboard a pod. There was only enough energy for me… Kal-El was supposed to join me but…”

“He’s here,” said Lena. “In our world, he lived and became a hero like you. He’s the Superman.”

Cyborg Kara stumbled, skidding to a stop as she stared up at the massive statues of Jor-El and his wife, Lara Lor-Van. Clark’s parents.

They finally caught up to Kara, who placed Lena gently in one of the pods and pulled down the canopy. A soft hiss of air was followed by a hollow thrum as the machine came to life.

“She’s in stasis,” said Kara. “I’ll run scans and we can collect samples, find out what’s wrong.”

Cyborg Kara let out a strange, rasping sound, pained and guttural. She was sobbing.

Kara, still protected by her suit, stepped in and put her arms around her counterpart, pulling her into a hug.

“We’re going to save her. I promise.”

“Please. Please just let me speak to her one more time.”

“We’ll do more than that. I promise.”

“Kara,” said Lena. “Let me look at her.”

Kara stepped aside. Lena stepped close to the cyborg, a deep pang of sadness exploding in her chest as the broken woman turned away.

“Don’t look at me.”

“I have to if I’m going to fix you.”

“Fix me?”

“I can replace the Kryptonite as a power source for your cybernetics, repair some of this damage. If you’ll let me.”

She looked at Lena uncertainly. Kara put a hand on her shoulder.

“Your Lena is going to need you, and you don’t deserve this pain. Let us help you.”

“…alright.”

“Alex,” said Kara. “Take the portal back to the tower. Call everyone. I’m going to send a message to Clark on Argo.”

Lena led Cyborg Kara away to another lab and motioned for her to sit down, then began going over her with the benefit of Kryptonian technology.

“My God,” Lena whispered.

The cyborg had to be in constant agony. Her mechanical components had taken damage her flesh would have shrugged off. When she took a blood sample, she found that the very Kryptonite that kept her alive was turning her blood corrosive, and her superhuman healing and a healthy dose of nanites were keeping it in balance, but did nothing to spare her the pain of the radiation.

It was a losing battle. She would eventually rot from the inside.

“I need you to lie down, and to trust me.”

She began by fabricating a new power source. The Kryptonite had never been essential to the Metallo Protocol- the point had been to make the subject deadly to Superman.

Once she had it online and modified to fit into the power plant on Kara’s chest, it was simply a matter of carefully lifting the Kryptonite core out and swapping out the connections. Once she had the wiring done, all she had to do was lock the power supply in place.

Lena sealed the Kryptonite behind a Kryptonian force field, containing its radiation.

Once she did, Cyborg Kara sucked in a sharp, shocked breath.

“It doesn’t hurt,” she whispered, “it doesn’t hurt.”

“I’m not done,” Lena said, gently. “If there’s one thing I know, it’s my own work.”

It took hours. She started on the most painful parts for Kara, carefully repairing and rebuilding joints and connections between her organic and mechanical systems. It really was a wonder. Her counterpart was a genius.

Obviously.

She fixed the speaker in her throat last, making her voice clearer if not perfect.

“Thank you,” Kara murmured. A tear of dark blood flowed down her cheek and her chest shook with relief. “Part of me was afraid I’d die before she wakes.”

“I wouldn’t let that happen.”

“I left her alone, Lena. She was trapped in that awful place and the… other… me was a monster. She hurt my Lena.”

“Kara,” said Lena.

“I did something terrible. I had to, she made me. She made me.”

Lena gently dabbed the crimson streak from her cheek. “Hush. It’s okay. It’s over now, you’re safe with us.”

Cyborg Kara swallowed and looked at her, just looked at her, and Lena felt a jolt ripple through her. She looked just like her Kara, looking at her as if she made the sun rise.

“Come on, let’s see where we are with, um, me,” said Lena.

The mood was somber when they walked back into the chamber. Kara no longer needed her Kryptonite resistant suit, so it didn’t activate.

Lena’s counterpart lay in the stasis pod like some futuristic Snow White, eyes closed, frozen. Cyborg Kara pressed her intact hand to the glass.

Kara put her hand on it.

“I won’t give up on her,” Kara promised. “I swear it.”

“I know you won’t,” said the cyborg. “You’re me.”

Alex stormed into the room.

“Okay,” said Alex. “Kara, I called in a favor. Can we move this pod?”

“If we have to,” said Kara. “Why?”

“We’re taking her to Themyscira,” said Alex.

There was someone in her penthouse.

Lena paused at the door, listening. The short hairs on the back of her neck stood up, a tingling sensation running down her spine. She wasn’t sure what tipped her off, but after the fifth kidnapping and three or four attempted murders in her own spaces -office, lab, here- she always listened to those instincts. Kara never complained if it was a false alarm when Lena activated her signal watch.

Her thumb hovered over the button. She took another step inside and the door latched behind her. She was about to press when Kara said,

“Please don’t press that.”

Something was off. Her voice was raspy, as though she had a sore throat, and oddly distorted. It was as if she spoke through a damaged speaker. Lena edged from the foyer into the kitchen, her heart still pounding.

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

Kara was standing in the living room in her super suit, or so Lena thought. Her cape was there, but the silhouette was different. Lena reached for the light switch and again Kara spoke.

“Don’t. Please.”

“Kara?”

“I’m not your Kara. I’m just… passing through.”

“Passing through my penthouse?”

Lena ran her thumb around the button, ready to press.

“Are you together in this world?”

Lena froze. The figure in her living room, Kara-but-not, was holding the framed photo of Lena with Kara smiling together, the one she’d once shattered. Kara had bought her a new frame for it when they were healing, still working out who they were going to be together, if their friendship could survive with a foundation that had so profoundly crumbled.

The glint caught Lena’s eye. One of Kara’s hands. At first she thought it was a medal glove but that wasn’t right. The shape was wrong, the fingers too thin, skeletal and claw-like. As her eyes adjusted, Lena could pick out more details.

Good God. The whole side of her face was missing, rebuilt into something inhuman and skeletal. A faint emerald glow from her chest and eye cast a pallid light across the living room.

“She’s my best friend,” said Lena.

“Best friend,” the creature whispered, her voice even harsher and more distorted.

“What do you want?”

“I told you, I’m passing through. I won’t be here long. But… can I look at you?”

“Look at me? I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

“Just let me look at you and I’ll go. Promise me you won’t scream or call me a monster.”

Lena swallowed hard.

“Should I turn on the light?”

“I would rather you didn’t.”

“Alright, then.”

The figure slowly replaced the photograph and turned, moving towards Lena. She limped, just a little, left foot dragging. Lena gasped.

It was Kara, but not. She had been… mutilated was the only word Lena could find for it. Half her face, her right arm, her leg, and worst of all, a gaping hole in her chest that contained a chunk of vile green Kryptonite burning inside. Her skin was deathly pallid, almost blue, raked through with sickly green streaks surrounded by faint bruises, as if her blood itself was poisoning her.

“My God,” Lena breathed.

“You’re so beautiful,” Kara said, her remaining eye so full of sadness and regret that Lena felt tears welling in her own.

When Kara wept in return, she wept verdant blood. She drew closer, and Lena stood stock still as Kara pressed a corpse-cold palm to her cheek.

“It’s been so long since I heard your heartbeat,” she said. “Thank you.”

“W-what happened to you?”

“Your brother, what else? He impaled me with a Kryptonite harpoon. You saved me. It’s almost funny. The Metallo Protocol kept me alive. If you can call this living.”

“I’m so sorry,” Lena whispered. “Can I help you? Is there something I could do?”

Kara shook her head, mechanical joints in her neck grinding. “There’s no cure for death, zhao.”

Lena blinked. Zhao? Was that Kryptonian? She wasn’t sure what it meant.

The cold palm fell away from her cheek.

“There must be some way I can help,” said Lena.

“In my world I killed your brother,” said Kara.

“In this world, I did. For her.”

“She loves you.”

Lena flinched. It felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over her and her legs went weak. She had to steady herself on the kitchen island.

“What?”

“Kara. She loves you.”

“How… why do you say that?”

“I have visited thousands of worlds. Thousands of timelines. There are many where you don’t even exist, where I don’t. But in all the ones I’ve found with the both of us, there is one constant: Kara Zor-El loves Lena Luthor. It’s inevitable, it’s like gravity. There is something in all of me that must love you.”

“You’re traveling across dimensions?”

She nodded, closing her one eye. “I’m searching. Before I killed Lex, he used his masterstroke against me. He couldn’t kill me, so he hit me where he could do the most damage. He sent Lena to the Phantom Zone before I ripped his heart out of his chest. Then something happened… the yellow aliens told me there was a crisis, a multiversal collapse that split the phantom zone into infinite shards.”

“Yes, the Crisis, but there should be only one Earth now. Your world should have been merged with ours.”

Kara sighed, a broken, pained rasp. “What happens when you subtract infinity from infinity?”

Lena frowned. “I see.”

“I know she’s out there. I can feel her. I thought your world might be the one, but there’s another me here, and the wrong you.”

“I hope you find her.”

“Thank you. May I ask you something?”

“Go ahead” said Lena.

“Do you love her?”

Lena didn’t need to ask who she meant. She felt a lump form in her throat even as her chest fluttered. This cold broken wreckage of another Kara stared into her as if to parse the strands of her soul.

“Yes,” said Lena.

Kara edged closer. “Then tell her. Please. Don’t make her wait. She’s too scared to tell you. She’s like all of us- she’s so afraid of her own strength that she won’t hold anyone truly close for fear she’ll crush them. She’s afraid of losing you, or losing you again. She’s lost everything. Her world, her people, her culture, two mothers and two fathers- there is so much grief in her that it could freeze a newborn star but you, you are the light that shines in the darkness. You are her red sunrise.”

Lena said nothing, fighting the tremble in her lip.

“I must go. She’s out there and I have to keep trying to find her.”

She turned away and Lena caught her arm, gently tugging. She stopped.

“Wait?”

Kara turned back to her, and Lena darted in close and pressed a soft kiss to her cold lips.

“What?” Kara blurted.

“For luck. You’re going to find her.”

“I wish I had your faith.”

Lena now pressed a palm to Kara’s cheek.

“You will. You’re Supergirl. You can do anything.”

Kara smiled with half a face and pulled free, activating a device on her belt. A portal opened before her, filling the penthouse with blazing light. She stepped through and was gone.

Lena stumbled to the sofa and collapsed onto it, hugging herself as the tears flowed.

A few moments later, the familiar sound of stacked heels thudded on her balcony and the door slid open.

Kara, her Kara, swept into the penthouse, frantic.

“Lena, what happened? I saw that flash. I was out on patrol and… are you crying?”

Kara knelt beside her and brushed her hair back from her eyes with her soft warm hand and said, “Baby, are you okay?”

Lena looked at her, really looked at her, and was simply overwhelmed. There was so much depth in her blue eyes, so much kindness and compassion and love.

“I am now,” said Lena.

Kara blinked a few times. “I don’t understand. What happened?”

“I promise I’m tell you someday, but first I have to ask you something.”

“Ask,” said Kara. “Anything you want, you know that.”

Lena curled a finger around Kara’s chin and watched her eyes widen, first in confusion and then in nervous anticipation as Lena bent towards her and tilted her head just slightly to press their lips together.

At first Kara didn’t react and Lena thought she’d made a terrible mistake, but then something in Kara came around and she lunged onto the couch, pressing Lena down to the cushions.

“Lena,” Kara breathed. “What… how… do you… with me?”

Lena hugged her fiercely.

“Stay with me, Kara. That’s what I want. Stay with me.”

“Always.”

Lena crouched down and carefully undid the buckle, pulling the watch from Lex’s limp wrist. His cold hand fell to the floor with a soft flopping sound and his eyes stared at nothing, unfocused and dull. Lena had once read that a dead man stared as if trying to solve a complex problem, but Lena did not see metaphor in her dead brother’s eyes. She saw only an absence that was a presence, a nothing that was somehow something.

Lex finally had his father’s eyes.

The gun was still heavy in her hand, her palm and wrist tingling from the force of recoil, ears still ringing from the blast. A single hole marked the center of her brother’s forehead; the meat of his genius was splattered across a bank of screens all playing surveillance footage of Kara performing inhuman feats.

(Two to the chest, one to the head, he had taught her, teaching her to repeat the mantra as he held her wrist to guide her aim as she took her very first shot)

The world was starting to come back, sweeping in. She couldn’t be here. She’d have to figure out what to do with the body and the evidence. She had to get out.

The interface on the watch was simple enough. The portal flashed open and she stepped through into her apartment. That could be convenient.

The watch crystal was dotted with her brother’s blood. She threw it and it skidded across the kitchen counter and it fell on the floor. She looked at the weapon in her hand. She would have powder burns.

Looking up, she spotted her reflection in the stainless steel of her fridge, blurred but real. There was red on her.

Lena never wore red.

There was more than she thought. She was covered in blood. In a panic, she ran for her bedroom and began shedding clothes on the tile floor of her bathrooms, wrapping the gun in a towel before throwing it on the bed. Stupid, stupid. That revolver was registered to her in Metropolis, and like all guns sold in-state, the police had a spent shell casing from it, fired and then stored for police records before it was sold.

Fuck.

Hot water blasted her skin. She let her hair fall down around her shoulders in wet locks like streaks of ink smeared across her pale skin.

(Why must you be so pale? You look like a dead fish.)

(That’s enough, mother. Leave Lena alone.)

She wasn’t sure when the tears started, or when she began to sob. She scrubbed at herself with a wash cloth and soap until her skin was raw and beet red. She was still sobbing when she stumbled out of the shower and threw on a robe, choking back tears as she sat on the edge of the bed.

She reached for her phone on the nightstand, but who to call?

Not long ago she’d have called Kara, or perhaps her sister. She could have called Nia or Brainy but they had all fucking lied to her. Even James. James knew while he was… while they…

It was Kara. Kara has asked her boyfriend to spy on her, questioned her motives.

Kara… Kara had lied most of all.

She stared at the phone. There was Sam, but Sam was away from all this madness, busy with her work and her daughter. Lena would just be a burden to her.

She stared at her list of contacts- the only people she knew outside of her employees and associates were in Kara’s circle, except for Sam…

…and Jack.

Lena jabbed the call button and waited.

It rang, rang, rang again.

Finally, he answered.

“Lena?”

“Hello, Jack.”

“I must say I’m surprised- it’s rather late, and we haven’t spoken in a while. What’s on your mind?”

“I shot Lex in the face,” Lena said, shocked by her own hollow, distant voice.

The line was silent for too long a beat.

“Dear God, you’re serious.”

Lena choked out a sob.

“I had to, Jack. She was never going to be safe while he was alive. He almost killed her this time. He would never let her live if he knew how I feel.”

“Lena, darling, please, you’re not making sense. Look- I’m booking a flight out there now, but please, stay calm and try to tell me what happened.”

She didn’t know where to start, so she went back to the beginning, when she had learned how to trace Lex’s portals and followed him back to his lair.

She stopped herself before she gave it away.

“He showed me Supergirl’s real identity. He had proof.”

“I see.”

“I… she…”

“It doesn’t matter who she is. It hurt you, I know that. Listen to me, Lena- I’ve charted a flight and I’ll be there in six hours. Where is the gun?”

“I have it here.”

“Unload it, please. Let me know when you’ve finished.”

Lena flicked open the cylinder and dumped the shells into her hand, three spent and two unfired, then closed it again.

“Now, lock it up.”

Once it was in the safe she said, “done.”

“Now I want you to lie down. Stay in the apartment and wait there for me, I’ll be there presently.”

For once in her life, Lena did as she was told. Somehow, she fell asleep and didn’t wake until she heard the intercom buzzing.

Without thinking she pulled on sweats and a Midvale High Mathletes sweatshirt.

Kara’s.

When she opened the door she found a haggard Jack Spheer on the other side. He was a little older, beard salted with gray, but he was still him.

He swept into the apartment without a word, found the liquor cabinet, and poured drinks.

“Talk to me.”

Lena sat down and downed her two fingers of scotch in one motion. He poured her another.

“Kara Danvers is Supergirl.”

“The Kara Danvers? Your reporter friend? Your best friend?”

He took a drink.

“Your crush?” he added.

Lena stared at him. He met her gaze levelly.

“What you said on the phone before I left. That he would never let her live if he knew how you felt.”

Lena’s throat felt like sandpaper. She took another drink. It didn’t help.

“She’s not… I’m not… I don’t…” The words would not take shape. “She lied to me,” Lena finally choked out. “She did something I shouldn’t forgive and she used her double life to play both side against me. I don’t know what part of our relationship was real now.”

Jack studied his drink for a long time. He picked up the bottle and pretended to read the label.

“The last time we spoke she seemed quite taken with you. I assume that Lex knew all of this, or most of it.”

“He knew the broad strokes, I’m sure. I think he hoped that if he showed me, I’d join him.”

“But you didn’t.”

“No,” Lena said, in a tiny whisper. “I killed him.”

“Your brother is dead.”

“Yes.”

He poured more drinks, another round for both of them.

“Tell me about him.”

“You’ve heard all the stories.”

“Tell me anyway.”

Lena considered that for a moment, then began talking, rattling off whatever popped into her head. She started with the first time she ever met her brother when he and Lionel had come to Ireland to take custody of her, then began jumping around in time from the treehouse he tried to build to the time he told Lillian he’d kill her if she hurt Lena to his college graduation to when he declared to her that he was going to kill Superman, as if it were the most obvious thing to do.

Eventfully she ran out of stories, and they were running out of scotch. There was enough for one more glass each.

It was The Next Day by now, and mid-morning sun filled the penthouse.

“Are you ready to tell me about her?”

She was. Lena began with the first time they met- the mousy little wannabe reporter who followed Superman into her office as he posed as a reporter, how the Man of Steel himself seemed unimportant compared to Kara, how even then her heart fluttered and she felt a hot pressure low in her hips and Kara seemed to feel spending too.

She told Jack all about it- not just Kara but Supergirl too, about the plane and the office full of flowers and the lunches and brunches and movie nights and how this woman had burrowed into her life and made a home there and gave a home in return, about all the times she had saved Lena’s life.

Again the words ran out.

“Do you want my advice?”

“Yes,” said Lena.

“Talk to her. The woman cares for you deeply, that much is clear. Talk to her and see where you stand.”

“But,”

He raised a hand. “I’m telling you this because I think you’ll listen to me. You want my real advice?”

Lena swallowed. “Yes.”

“Your psychopath brother is gone. You own and run a Fortune 50 company. You’re on a dozen lists, 30 under 30, most influential women… you have virtually unlimited wealth and, if I dare say so, a woman who loves you.”

Lena sucked in a breath.

“Take the money, take the girl,” said Jack, “and live your life.”

She looked down at the empty glass, feeling the cold austere minimalism of her stark penthouse around her, and the tears began to flow anew. She wrapped her arms around herself and didn’t flinch when Jack took her in a bear hug.

“I want what’s best for you, and right now I think what’s best for you is ignoring that little voice in your head that’s telling you to blow up your life because you think you can’t be happy.”

“I knew,” Lena finally admitted. “I knew the whole time. I knew she was Supergirl and I knew I was in love with her.”

Lena wept softly on his shoulder for a time. He ended up staying the day and slept on her couch before leaving to return to Metropolis.

She was still wearing Kara’s sweater when she made the call.

“Lena? Are you alright? I was worried about you,” Kara said.

“Please come over,” Lena whispered. “I need to see you, Kara. You can come in through the balcony. The door is open.”

There was a too-long pause, and then the double impact of Supergirl’s boot heels on the concrete.