ok the question is, were you a webkinz, club penguin, or neopets kid

literally nothing is more annoying and obnoxious than someone demanding you do something that you were already planning on doing. Do you know how likely it is that I do the thing now? Zero. Zero likely.

*accidentally does something well* ah shit i’ve given them standards now

laying down the god damn law on this tinder boy

Do you ever catch a whiff of a scent that smells unmistakably of something really random like the twenty-third day of first grade and you’re just like hOW DID I REMEMBER THAT

SOMEONE ACTUALLY PUT THIS INTO WORDS

I’m the friend.

I texted my friend today about something important and when I watched her snapchat, I heard my personalized text tone in the background. She still didn't answer. I am sending her this.

that time andy samberg was a complete savage re: the guys choice awards

Honestly Andy Samberg is such a treasure.

yesterday at target the cashier said ‘your receipt is in the bag’ and i responded with ‘you too’ so i’ve been dealing with that for the past 18 hours but i’m slowly coming to terms with it which is cool