man of many wiles

If you think about it, it's kind of unfair that my actions have consequences

Beating up Thersites with a stick is the only stress relief I can get in this goddamn war

Just found some Fantastic white horses tonight. It's a shame I can't find their owners. I'll have to bring them back to camp with me, as a kindness

Being lost at sea is an Art . No one is doing it like me. I wouldn't expect you to understand

All these fuckers in my palace. Their thighs aren't even that big. Microthighs

You wouldn't know my name she goes to another school

What is a war if not an excuse to steal a fuckton of horses

Terrified that I will come home to a house that no longer knows me

The passing of my dog should not have aggrieved me so. He was old. it is a miracle that he lived this long, or that he recognized me when I had left him so young. Yet, this grief is staggering. Why did he have to die?

Landing on the magic secret island away from the war. Feeling somewhat embarrassed. They have robot dogs. I washed ashore naked and covered in salt and brine and fucked up hair and they have robot dogs

Stayed up nine days just to reach my homeland and the minute I fell asleep my wretched crew opened the wind bag . We all should have died at Troy

Maybe YOU don't flirt with your lovers through psychosexual mind games but we do. We happen to like it

Kissing my native soil under my feet. Home at last! There is sand in my teeth

I don't know how many more "be still, heart, you've endured far worse than this" I got left in me

Giddily calling myself Father to Dear Telemachus to all who will listen. I wonder if this was how my father felt as well. I cannot wait to spoil my son as my father once did me

it's crazy how much the fates let me get away with at the cost of my soul

Gee Odysseus ,you say, can't believe they let you have both nostos And kleos. Well you see, I must first come home irrevocably changed