the degree that parents of young children seem to think Baby Shark came out of nowhere astounds me. this is a DECADES-OLD camp song, that has spanned generations. 

i am not a parent of a young child but i worked at summer camps for years and let me tell you before it was ruined by parents of young children baby shark was the most fun camp song ever. kids went buckwild over baby shark. but then it had to be commercialized. you ruined it. yall motherfuckers stay away from the bear song or we’ll have words 

#part of the problem w/ commercializing camp songs#other than you know Everything#is that it canonizes a specific version#one of the best parts of baby shark was that every camp had slightly different versions#does the singer die and go to hell?#are they reincarnated as a shark?#are they left as a concsious severed head bobbing in the waves?#it was different each time it was sung and its fucking beautiful

He's connected them!

YOINK!

I had a dream last night where the new thing on tumblr was to post "dreaming so dweetly" along with a pic of someone in an old-timey nightcap when you were getting ready to go to bed, so every night my entire dash was full of stuff like this:

whenever characters have a weird dad and a missing/dead/unmentioned mom the fandom tendency is to assume she's normal to balance it out. but it's always valid to instead assume she matched his freak. that she was freakier. if canon won't give you enough insane women to work with it's always morally correct to fill in the blanks with your own

clingy girlfriend and clingy boyfriend 💞

I've been yearning lately incase you can't tell ^^

crazed stp fan desperately tries to figure out the logistics of beak kiss: settles on french

I could write 20 pages against exclusionist arguments but nothing I could say would be as efficient as this

recent doodles ^_^

additional aggie stuff from @faksyan and @ashenberry

This is actually the best intro to a porno that has ever existed

the thing is people often talk about how minecraft steve is the most whitewashed character since jesus christ but never does anyone discuss how they’re perhaps the most misgendered character ever

steve (alongside all the other default skins, for that matter) are referred to with they/them and with gender-neutral language by the developers!

i think the most interesting part is that steve (and the others, mostly alex) are constantly misgendered by not just fans, but official minecraft content itself. merch, social media posts, etc will often refer to steve with he/him, and alex with she/her, although sometimes they seem to omit pronouns entirely. the developers, though, have seen them as genderless since basically the beginning

before notch became who he is today, he posted about gender in minecraft, ending it with:

and in an interview with lydia williams, she talks about how she was corrected on steve’s gender (presumably by her coworkers at the time):

and again, in the latest skin-related video, both steve and sunny are referred to solely with they/them. the developers seem pretty set and comfortable with the genderless nature of the player characters, which makes it really confusing as to why the rest of the branding ignores that fact entirely

Gods Tournament, Round 1

I tap the mic. “Most people don’t want to crawl down your chimney and steal your dog.”

the crowd murmurs uncertainly.

“If someone wants to steal your dog,” I continue, “there are easier ways to do that. They don’t have to crawl into a chimney.”

Murmuring intensifies. People stand in their seats and begin to boo.

“People disguising themselves as chimney sweepers and stealing dogs is not a rational fear,” I shout. “Literally anyone could steal your dog. Why make sweeping chimneys illegal?”

“I have a list of chimney sweeps who stole dogs from parks!” Someone yells, throwing a shoe.

“You seriously think no chimney sweepers could possibly ever steal from a home?” Another cries.

“Only a dog thief would even want to crawl into a chimney to begin with!” Says a third.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. They are all so fucking stupid

This is a metaphor

We have always existed, and we always will.

My human click clack design!

He edits for some no name newspaper company on earth. I imagine even though he’s part drainfolk he moved out of drain at a young age and doesn’t have much memories there

make sure to leave a burger under your pillow at night so the inspekta will make your wishes come true