by the way, quietly bottling your discomfort with someone and just hoping they'll "get the hint" until you can't take it anymore and then taking it to the nearest moderator isn't "setting a boundary" or "being victimized," it's actually called "being a huge piece of shit" and "expecting people to read your mind."
Sorry about your conflict aversion, but you actually need to tell people when they're making you uncomfortable. like, with explicit, clear, unmistakeable words that don't give you a safe cover of plausible deniability with which you can back out and "still be the good guy." It is kinder to let someone down face-to-face so they can hurt and move on knowing what went wrong than it is to lead someone on and then stab them in the fucking back, you know?
Also, I cannot stress this enough, it is not actually someone else's fault for making you uncomfortable when you literally make a point to lie to them about how much you like them by pretending you're enjoying their company more than you are. That's your fault. That's called making a bed to lie in. Maybe just desperately hoping someone who has already misinterpreted how close they are to you will just happen to pick up on the subtle signs of you desperately hiding your discomfort is, frankly, fucking stupid, and you need to get over yourself and say real words to them instead of getting some third party to punish them for your own inability to communicate.
Sorry this one isn't as nice as my other posts, but some of you need a wake-up slap. Stop fucking burning autistic people and trans women one-by-one because being a coward is easier than being a villain. It's not fucking nice, it's not cute, and the more I see it happen, the less forgivable it gets. Grow the fuck up and change in the scary but necessary ways.
Because it's kinder to tell someone when they're fucking up than it is to let them make the same mistakes in ignorance until you've secretly tallied enough transgressions to safely write them off as unforgivable, and thus disposable. Because I care about you, and everyone else, enough to give you a real chance to actually correct your harmful behaviors by being honest to you about the harm they cause. Because I believe people can make hurtful mistakes while still being genuine unintended mistakes, and that they can change.
Hint, hint.
