Pinned
*Angst x fluff because I'm not strong enough to write straight angst*
@onstrangerthighs / onstrangerthighs.tumblr.com
Billy hadnβt been in this particular friend group for very long, but even he knew about Nancy and Steveβs Breakup. While heβd joined after it, from what heβd heard, it was the Breakup. At least for Steve.
It was mutual, both parties deciding they were better off as friends. Still, every time the rest of the group got together, the atmosphere itself seemed broken, too. Maybe it was because Steve had very clearly not moved on. Billy didnβt understand it, but then again, heβd never really been in love, or vice versa.
Being the new member, and an introvert slash selective extrovert, he always seemed to end up right next to a moping Steve. The scratchy silence was agonizing, especially during New Yearβs Eve, for... reasons. Billy couldnβt complain, though. His painfully obvious and unrequited crush on Steve could not have come at a worse time. Thatβs the thing about romance, Billy groused silently, tearing his eyes away from Steveβs pretty face.
He was pretty sure everyone else knew. Everyone else except for him.
βNot a bad spread, eh, Pretty Boy?β
Steve startled out of his stupor, and nodded, grinning goofily at Billy. Perhaps heβd had too much to drink. For him to get honest-to-God shit-faced, would take an impressive amount of alcohol.
This just may be the only thing besides playing basketball in high school that they have in common. Oh, and the whole pining thing.
βYou must think Iβm pretty pathetic,β Steve burped, not even bothering to cover his mouth. Yep, he was on a bender.
Billy shrugged. βYou miss Nancy,β he replied, and Steve shook his head fervently, burping again. βAm I wrong?β
βI hic miss Nancy, okay, yeah. But itβs... more than that. Iβm happy that sheβs happy, donβt get me wrong. Iβm happy hic for her-β
Before he could stop himself, Billy interjected, βYou donβt seem like you are.β
Steve blinked sluggishly, then snorted. βThat obvious, huh?β
βA little.β Try a lot.
Bubbles shot out of Steveβs nose as he snorted into his empty wine glass. βOuch.β
Well, youβve done it. Youβre about to get friend-dumped.
βHas anyone ever told you-β
β-how much of an ass I am? Ye-ah,β Billy sighed, starting to get up. As someone with a shit load of anxiety, he always noted where the exits and restrooms were, along with where he put his stuff, in case he needed to make an embarrassing escape.
Steve grabbed his wrist, and squeezed it greedily, like he was drowning and Billyβs the only thing closest to him to resemble a floatation device. Billy didnβt -couldnβt- pull away from him, or those big, brown voids on either side of Steveβs face. Weak even at his grown age.
βSteve... what... what are you doing?β
βSit with me. Stay.β There was nothing but desperation and loneliness in his voice. βPlease?β
βI donβt have to work until next week,β Billy joked weakly, allowing himself to be pulled back to the couch. So close to Steve and yet so far. This would be the closest heβd ever come to confessing that heβd always make time for Steve Harrington.
βI love... love,β Steve said, resting his head on Billyβs shoulder. Billy swallowed, hoping the older man couldnβt hear his rapidly beating heart.
βWhat?β
βYa know... hic* love. I love... the feeling. The idea of it. Falling for someone. When Nancy and I were hic together-β
Billy couldnβt help but groan. He did and didnβt want to hear about his friendsβ sex lives. Now might as well be the time to confess that he had a crush on Nancy, too. Well, not a crush, exactly, but... he felt something for her. He just wasnβt sure what to call it yet. Or maybe he didnβt want to accept that he c-worded not one, but two unobtainable people.
βI would... hic say βI love youβ all hic the time, and Nancy would hic never say it back. I never understood why until now. I said it not hic hic just because hic I loved her, but... because I wanted her to stay with me. I was lonely. We both were. Sheβs so easy to fall in love with,β Steve said, a wistful look in his eyes.
βShe is,β Billy agreed too quickly that he thanked fuck his companion was so out of it.
βI wasnβt willing to hic give, ya know? Nance gave and hic gave, and I just... hic couldnβt hic figure out how hic to give hic her what hic she hic deserved. I hic guess itβs hic hereditary. I really hic hic mean hic it, Iβm hic -appy for her.β
For the first time, Billy believed him. He set down his beer and squeezed Steveβs slightly larger hand. Steve gasped, and returned the squeeze. Warmth filled Billy like someone lit a fire up his ass, and he bit clean through his bottom lip. Where was everyone else? Why couldnβt he notice anyone else right now... anyone else other than Steve?
βIβm just hic s-so hic hic lonely. Empty.β The sweaty hold he had on Billyβs hand tightened as he talked. Drunk Steve was everything Sober Steve couldnβt be. Vulnerable. Openly affectionate towards another man. With Billy of all people. So this was what it was like...
He rubbed his sore chest with his free hand, willing himself not to cry. Steve wouldnβt know it, but Billy and the audience would.
βAre hic you hic crying?β No mockery, no bullshit passed down from generation to generation about how βmen donβt cryβ.
βN-no,β Billy choked out.
Steve turned to him, expression sweeter than honey, and he began to wipe away Billyβs tears clumsily with his thumbs. Billy was so dumbstruck, he forgot to flinch. No one ever got this close to him, to his face. The touch-starved blond cried even harder, digging his nails into his palm. Steve almost poked Billyβs eyes in a race to wipe away the rest of Billyβs tears. He wouldnβt stop staring! Billy tried to hide his face, but he couldnβt let go of Steveβs hand. He couldnβt stop leaning into the other hand cupping his wet cheek. He was completely and utterly fucked.
βHey,β Steve muttered, burping in Billyβs face.
Ew. Just. Ew. βHey, Pretty Boy.β Now his eyes were watering for a different reason. Again, thank fuck Shit-Faced Harrington was with him. With any luck, this would be a distant memory tomorrow. For both of them. And... for Eddie. Fucking Eddie Munson was counting down the seconds to New Yearβs, and he had the stupidest smug grin on his face. βShut up.β
βI didnβt say anything!β
βShut the fuck up,β Billy groaned, rubbing his temples.
Five!
Four!
βI hope everyoneβs got someone to-β
βEDDIE!β everyone yelled except Argyle and Jonathan, who were somehow more baked than the noisy guitarist.
Three!
Two!
βBilly? Donβt hate me for this,β Steve hiccupped.
βWha-β
One!
He leaned in and kissed Billy so hard, the younger man fell onto his back, sinking into the cushions.
Everyone else was wrapped up in watching the ball drop, but the two dorks on the couch were still going at it.
The smart thing for Billy to do? Push Steve off and flee. After all, he was drunk. He didnβt know what he was doing... or who he was kissing. For all he knew, he was kissing Nancy. Someone he loved.
Tears threated to fall once more, and Billy whimpered. Like a fool, like a dog, he stayed put, even after Steve vomited all over him and then fell asleep.
Happy New Year.
Im just feeling a certain way rn
I keep seeing people making fun of using growled, hissed, roared, snarled etc in writing and itβs like.
have you never heard someone speak with the gravel in their voice when they get angry? Because thatβs what a growl is.
Have you never heard someone sharply whisper something through the thin space of their teeth? Or when your mother sharply told you to stop it in public as a kid when you were acting up/being too loud? Because thatβs what a hiss is.
Have you never heard a man get so blackout angry that their voice BOOMS through the house? Because thatβs what a roar is.
Have you never seen someone bare their teeth while talking to accentuate their frustration or anger while speaking with a vicious tone? Because thatβs what snarling is.
Itβs not meant to be a literal animal noise. For the love of god, not every description is literal. I get some people are genuinely confused, but also some of these people are genuinely unimaginative as fuck.
feeling called out today
credit: _ADWills
youβre laughing. theyβre horrifically misinterpreting my favorite characterβs personality and youβre laughing
Me every time I go in a fandom tag
And also
She is the sunshine, ever pervasive in a dark room and twilight mind.
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Commission for the lovely @synergetic-prose !! ππ thank you SO MUCH again!!!