[Video’s audio transcript:
*starts out a bit exasperated* O-Okay, let’s get into this, shall we?
*low, silly voice* Would you rather work for Lex Luthor or the Jok-
*exasperated, angry yelling* Lex Luthor! By like a fucking mile!
Yes, yes, working for Lex Luthor is basically like being an Amazon employee that makes weapons of mass destruction. Which is BAD.
Lex is like Donald Trump mixed with Mark Zuckerberg mixed with Jeffrey fucking Bezos, it’s NOT a great mix! He does not treat his henchmen well. Their lives still suck, and they are probably monitored on how long they take piss breaks for.
But let’s analyse what working for Lex Luthor is like, versus THE FUCKING JOKER.
With Lex you probably get a dental plan, a health plan, a paycheck, and the guy that you’re fighting really cares about human life. Superman will hit you just long enough to knock you out so you’re not a threat, so he can stop the problem.
If you work for the Joker, your payment is you’re not. Fucking. Dead. You say one wrong thing - bang! You don’t laugh at his jokes - bang! You do laugh at his jokes - bang! You think Joker gives a fuck about a henchman??!
Who’s Lex Luthor’s head man? It’s a woman, you sexist, her name is Mercy, she’s awesome!
Who’s Joker’s right hand man? Bob? Naw, he’s dead. Harley? Tried to kill her several times. Slappy? Who the fuck is slappy? The best case scenario working for the Joker is that you FIGHT the FUCKING BATMAN. And that presents its own fucking list of PROBLEMS. If you stop Superman as a Lex Luthor henchman, Lex will be PISSED but he’ll be at least happy that Superman was caught. If you stop BATMAN as a JOKER henchman, you better have a fucking coffin picked out YESTERDAY.
This isn’t a fun hypothetical question, this is a screening technique that the doctors at Arkham use to determine your mental health! There is a right and a wrong answer to this question and the correct one is Lex fucking Lu-thor!
Thank you for coming to my fucking TEDTAlk, have a nice day!