had to show you guys. he looks so unbelievably bad. for context he always gets shit crusted in his fur because he doesn’t maintain it so my mom decided to give him a haircut and wanted to even it out

they greebled him

american maid cafe review

Apparently you fuck the mechanic while being super uninterested.

He’s probably having an existential crisis because the cover of the book is exactly what’s happening to him while he’s balls deep in the mechanic.

The early roots of Chuck Tingle metaporn.

Pounded In The Butt By Infinitely Recursive Depictions Of My Engine Failure

see him schmoove

totem of fundamentals

Reblog to cast healing for your homies.

spin the wheel and assign an animal to prev

i’m trying to have a yaoi moment with you. man to man i’m trying to have a yaoi moment with you right now

TOP 10 MASS EFFECT LADIES (AS VOTED BY MY FOLLOWERS) → #8: Ashley Williams

don’t tell social media if you went to protests or not(especially if you didn’t), don’t give cops an easy way to track down protesters. punk life advice

how it feels when someone says “can i be tmi really quick”

Recreated Kerry's Painting

This picture here is the original btw for comparison's sake

writing mood™️

Template by @finchmarie can be found here. Thank you Finch it's a lovely template! And it's a Keahi double feature: OC MEME as snagged from @stormikins and @keenie-bo-beenie <3

General

Name: Keahi Maynard Shepard

Alias(es): Kay, Whero (fear-o), Ember, Siha

Gender: Genderqueer

Age: 40 in ME1, 42-44 in ME2, 45+ in ME3

Place of birth: Mindoir

Spoken languages: English, French, pidgin Hawaiin conversational/some/learning: Spanish, Arabic, Māori, Asari standard and Drell standard.

Sexual orientation: demisexual, rarely feels attraction but falls HARD when they do. Pansexual.

Occupation: ME1 alliance military infiltrator, rank of commander, and council spectre. ME2 council spectre, Alliance status unclear, and in the latter half secretly, co-shadow broker. ME3 retired from Alliance and council/ honourary roles not active, co-shadow broker with Liara T'Soni.

Favourite

Colours: Purple and green

Entertainment: Archery, nature walks, gaming (management sims and creative tools especially), reading, painting, playing guitar, crochet, music and dancing

Pastime: Having a great meal and maybe playing a game with close friends, then a private chill evening with Thane cosy in their quarters. More active wise, an archery session, particularly if it is on land in nature.

Food: Dad's home style jerk chicken, rice and peas, hard food and dumplings. Or a full roast dinner with all the trimmings.

Drink: Blackcurrent cordial, cool crisp cider, fresh orange juice with bits (pulp for my friends over the pond).

Book: Lord of the Rings trilogy

Have They

Passed University: Joined the Alliance straight out of school, has done many certifications via that.

Had sex: Before Thane, only two partners and brief relationships with a handful of sexual occasions. With Thane, a lot.

Had sex in public: No and absolutely zero interest in trying

Gotten tattoos: Yes. One is a periwinkle over a pentagon, a favourite flower and a nod to Thane. (I figure tattoo removal is much more doable by this point and Keahi is a sappy romantic anyway).

Gotten piercings: yes, muliple. The infiltration track allowed for slightly more lenient dress code in the alliance so they had some ear piercings, although they often closed over and had to be redone. From ME2 onward, multiple piercings including labret and nose.

Had a broken heart: Sort of. (i'm still working out these backstories so the details are a little bare here). Their two previous relationships were both with people they had strong, significant connections with but both were simply not sustainable. Relationship one was a fellow soldier, work, youth and distance made them decide to end things amicably. He later died in duty, Keahi still mourns him. Their second relationship was with a female turian (get him very drunk and they will admit they 'climbed her like a tree' at a good foot taller than him) again met via work and she wasn't looking for a commitment due to work ambitions, a mutual split but was very sad to end things at the time.

Been in love: Thane, the great love of their life, their soulmate, all the cliches. Thane lives because I am soft and they need to grow old and wrinkly together.

Are They

A cuddler: So cuddly with those they are close to. Minimal bodily contact until that closeness is formed though

Scared easily: Not easily. Keahi is a very chill, level headed person. Until they aren't and then it's nuclear time, all the feels.

Jealous easily: Not especially.

Trustworthy: Ridiculously reliable. I think Keahi is one of those people that could be extremely good at lying and manipulation if they have to and truly believe it's necessary, but would never want to and is a last resort, so if you are putting faith in them there's a 99% chance that faith is extremely well placed.

Family

Siblings: None, but was extremely close to other kids on Mindoir :(

Parents: Mum- Dr. Rita Shepard, Agriculturist. She was head of agricultural sustainability and planning on Mindoir, with specialisations in conservation and zenobotany. She made sure any food production didn't cause ecological problems and was sustainable both for the population and the planet. She named Keahi after the plant of the same name which has red stems, and to honour her Hawaiin mother. Dad- Winston Maynard, primary school teacher. Winston was one of those heart of the community types, a smiley, fun, loving man who idolised his 'big brained beautiul' wife and who was every kids favourite teacher.

Rita and Winston:

Children: Keahi loves kids and has always had a 'if it happens it happens and if not that's ok' attitude to having children of their own, knowing their work is not exactly child friendly. Once settled with Thane, Keahi is very happy taking on a step parent role to Kolyat (once Kolyat warms up to them and wants that too) and Feron. Most drell live in tight knit multi generational family units (Thane and Irikah were outliers there) and post reapers, Keahi and Thane live with Kolyat and Feron and very happily and readily help with raising and doting on grandchild Mina.

Pets: The aquarium is converted into a vivarium and home to some space geckos

Tagging: So I've combined two different thigns here, Finch's goregous character template and the OC meme. So to those I tag, you can do one, both or none of course! @pastelroyce @dandenbo @angstyastro @shadowthehedgehog1 @daisywalletchains @who-is-riley @twistedstitcher27 @callista-curations @onedismay @tumblersleftboob and absolutely anyone else who wants to try them out and please tag me I want to see them <3 <3

Vejible fiend asks for his 7th vejible in a row

distractions. original post here. 

going out to eat some mold spores. anybody need anything?

can i get added onto your will

not sure why but go wild

happy Barely Keeping It Together Wednesday to all who celebrate