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Process Thoughts

@pennzance

Zance (he/him), Nearly 40, father, husband, fan of many things, writer of many prompts.

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Welcome to my tiny corner of Tumblr's nigh-infinite-as-heck-a-hedron. I do mostly short(ish) dialogue prompts, usually between two characters. I think I've been posting at least one a day for apparently 3 years now. Some of my common themes/characters are:

-Starship Antics

-Marriage Antics

-How did he die, doctor?

-Archangel Antics

-Other types of Antics

-I also occasionally philosophically pontificate on my various obsessions like Mega Man, Discworld, Battletech, etcetera.

Drop a like if you like, follow if you want more, I'll reciprocate as I like to broaden my horizons.

-Pennzance

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halcydn-deactivated20151101

Reblog if you write fan fiction

Doesn’t matter if you write in a frequent basis, or once in a blue moon, just how many of us are there?

Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson is literature's best King.

'But he ain't the king!' I hear you cry. Even though everyone knows better. He's the King of Ahnk Morpork, by birthright and fact. It's hard to deny, given all the evidence.

But what makes Carrot the best King isn't that he sits on a throne or makes proclamations or wears a crown. He does not, in fact, DO any of that. This is remarkable, given the number of Kings you can find on the Disc that go all in on the usual trappings of the job.

No, what makes Carrot the best King is HOW he, for lack of a better term, rules his people.

He does not rule the city. The Patrician does that, and quite well. But Carrot does rule his people, and he does it with a touch so light, so soft, many of them barely realize he does it.

Part of this is his upbringing. Dwarfs, by and large, do not wring their hands and worry about what tomorrow will bring because, down in a mine, getting to tomorrow is certainly not a guarantee. There is only what is in front of you, and what you can do about it.

Carrot brings this attitude with him everywhere. He shares it with others. He shows his people, by simple dint of a fresh perspective, that what they can do about what is in front of them is not limited by the concerns of tomorrow or the grudges of history.

Yes, lad, you could absolutely stab this other lad because he broke your mate's nose that one time when you were all scrapping over who got what rubbish from the pile. OR, you could put the knife down and join in this game involving the ball I happen to have right here because what lad doesn't like a bit of sport.

Yes, sir, you could try running all of those foreigners you dislike so much out of the city with threats of violence. OR, you could come along with me to this cozy little curry shop that, would you look at that, has been here for ages because the owners are every bit the Morporkian you are, they just handle direct sunlight a tad better by tanning.

Yes, my lord, maybe you should call the guard and have this impudent troll removed from your property. OR, begging your pardon sir of course, but since I AM a guard and that particular troll is Seargeant Detritus, perhaps you should assist us with our inquires regarding this seemingly innocuous murder Commander Vimes seems quite invested in.

And the magical part is that his people DO what he tells them. Suggests to them. They can't help it. And Carrot, despite appearances, knows it.

He KNOWS the power he has over people. And THIS is how he chooses to use it: domestic disputes, police work, and helping out where he can. He doesn't want a throne or a crown. He just wants to help. He wants his people to BE better, not because he says so, but because he knows they CAN be, and they just need to recognize that for themselves.

Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson is literature's best King, because the best a King can be is a servant to, a champion of, and a cheerleader for his people. And Carrot would rather die before he failed at being all of those things, simultaneously, and all the time.

"Somewhere out there is a circus full of Computer Science Majors that I absolutely need to find because my office is full of FUCKING CLOWNS!"

"... so is it like some hilarious red-nosed orgy or...?"

"So, you're the wizard?"

"I prefer Sorceress."

"Oh, sorry! I just... the beard and all."

"Yes, yes, nature's little revenge on me for twisting the laws of physics to suit my whims."

"It's very shiny. What do you use?"

"L'Oréal. I hate the stupid thing, but I'm still worth it."

"Hey, you know how everyone should have at least one friend who is super ready to start the revolution at any time, burn down the system and throw civilization into the kind of constructive chaos that has even odds of making life better for people?"

"I... do? Wait, what's about to happen?"

"You look... harried. What's wrong?"

"Well, you know how I took last week off to work on my hobby?"

"Oh, yeah, you never told me what your hobby was."

"Writing."

"... you stared at a blank word document for seven straight days, didn't you?"

"Worse. I started a short story, and now it's over 600 pages long. I have to edit it on my next vacation."

"Fuck, man, does EVERYTHING you touch suffer from scope creep?"

"We will now take questions from the press."

"Hey, uh, I have a question! What the fuck?!"

"Ah, yes, we anticipated that initial reaction and would like to respond up front to that sentiment with 'Fuck you, that's why.'"

"Oh. Fair enough, thanks."

"Power is fascinating. It manifests in so many ways. It can be control of a country, a super weapon, or the hoarding of a vital resource."

"Can you let me go now?"

"No, because right now I am enjoying the power I have over you by bending this one little finger in the wrong direction. It's addictive stuff."

In case anyone is having a bad night:

Here is the fudgiest brownie in a mug recipe I’ve found

Here are some fun sites

Here is a master post of Adventure Time episodes and comics

Here is a master post of movies including Disney and Studio Ghibli

Here is a master post of other master posts to TV shows and movies

*tucks you in with fuzzy blanket* *pats your head*

You’ll be okay, friend <3

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heythereclifford

i will reblog this everytime it shows up because any of my followers could have a bad night right now

All these links, besides the first, are broken. So here’s some more.

Here’s an emergency compliment

Here you can play 2048

Here’s a playlist of Bob ross

Here’s a website to watch movie’s and shows for free

Here’s a website to watch documentaries for free

Here you can to nothing for two minutes

Here you can break something. It’s good for anger

Here’s a button to press to make everything okay

Here’s a site to cut something up (TRIGGER WARNING)

Here’s a site that makes you a website depending on a song you choose

Here’s a gay comic. It’s adorable

Here you can spend Bill Gate’s money

Here you can draw your own island

Here you can learn about patterns website’s use

Here you can get your life stats

Here you can listen to the Tucker Zone (Headphones needed)

Here you can see how fast you’re moving

Here you can see the progress of time

Here you can see the future of the universe 

Want some more? 

Here’s the butterfly project

Here’s a snickerdoodle mug cake

Here’s a link to some free audiobooks

Here’s something to read when you feel like a burden

Here’s a secret

Here’s my playlist of some sea shanties 

Here’s another secret

Here’s a link to some cool websites 

Here’s a blog that gives you recipes for when you’re low on spoons

Here’s some Brony Headcanon’s

Some more? I’ve got plenty

Here’s 100,000 stars

Here you can control the weather (TW FLASHING IMAGES)

Here you can weave silk

Here you can make a castle of your own

Here you can make a kaleidoscope drawing

Here you can explore recursion

Here you can play a jelly block game

I’m back with some more! 

Here you can draw with pasta

Here you can draw logo’s from memory

Here you can play this is sand, here you draw cool sand designs

Here you can play The Organ Trail

Here’s a customizable white noise website

Here you can simulate gravity

Here you can create your own guardian of the galaxy

Here you can make your own galaxy

Here’s a website you can get some support at.

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i-am-midnight

Here you can split circles into smaller and smaller pieces (I found this really satisfying)

Here you can have images of people point to where your pointer is

Here you can paint someone’s nails

Here you can grow a garden across your screen (Audio included)

Here you can try out all kinds of mind illusions (Trigger Warning: Flashing Lights)

Here you can see how many miles you have scrolled

Here you can watch a website load forever, although you might be getting enough of this on Tumblr mobile

Here’s a rickroll

Here you can remind yourself that you’re awesome.

Here you can throw trash into a dustbin only for it to bounce right back out (Audio included)

Here you can make sand dunes using sand (Audio included)

And here you can generate more cool websites like these

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emeraldrain55

pinning thissss

And yet more!!!

Here you can listen to a gentle rainstorm

Here you can make snowflakes

Here is a Line Rider feature film with relaxing music

Here is the entire script to the Princess Bride (many don’t need it but it’s fun to read anyway)

Here is an abbreviated script for the entirety of Book 1 of A:TLA that I made out of anger at the film that definitely doesn’t exist

Here is a playlist of the top 10 most relaxing songs ranked according to science

Here’s a site where you can make a dude beatbox with fun animations

I’m fully aware I will need this at some point.

"There is, I am certain, an amount of punches I can deliver to your body that will rectify how much of an asshole you are. I do not know that number, but I am willing to put in the work to find out."

"You could just ASK me to stop being an asshole."

"Historically, that has not worked. So, I have decided to experiment with the application of a bountiful resource: my unending rage at your continued antics."

"I don't wish to participate?"

"Your compliance is not a variable I am testing for."

"I am going to take this moment to firmly but gently remind the defense counsel that lying to the court will only be tolerated to the distance the bailiff can throw the counselor out of my window."

"I have not knowingly made a false statement, your honor."

"You fail to give the impression that you knowingly do anything. The court would also like to advise the defense counsel to read the documents his case apparently relies upon before attempting to make representations as to their contents in court."

"Your honor-"

"And before you ask, counselor? I've read them."

"Ah. Damn. May I move for a recess?"

"So you can get some reading done? Absolutely. To comprehend the material? I'm not sure that can be accomplished before the heat death of our universe."

I have noticed a trend among conservative commentators that one of their primary reasons for voting for Trump was that he was an outsider, someone who wasn't part of the establishment, that they voted for him to shake things up and change the status quo.

Putting aside for the moment that the change they apparently voted for was outright oligarchy, a cratering economy, open support for historical enemies and contempt for our closest neighbors, unforced errors and outright stupidity, I find their language interesting.

I've heard it before, you see. They voted for him because they felt unrepresented by the politics of the time. They voted for him because he made them feel seen. They voted for him because they found some kindred identifying mentality.

Almost like, I dunno, how they think minorities vote.

But they're the 'silent majority', right? The country is obviously mostly people just like them who were tired of politics as usual and decided to finally stand up and use their voices, right? White, angry men are still the majority race of the country, right?

Well... that's complicated by adjectives, isn't it? For example, I myself am White, a Man, but not (until recently) all that Angry. I wouldn't use that word to describe myself most of the time. And I know several other White Men who are not Angry. They are Empathetic, Well-Adjusted, or Open-Minded. Some of them are, and I know this is hard to believe, Happy.

And if we're gonna boil everyone down to three descriptors, White Men of any disposition are factually not the majority of the country. There's these people called Women, you see, to say nothing of everything else a person might identify as. There's a healthy population of people who do not see themselves as White. I'd even go so far as to say that, current circumstances aside, less than half of the country would be considered Angry.

I think some, not all, of their problem stems from the dissonance of using minority language to describe themselves when they feel like they aren't a minority. This transition of White Men to a group without all the advantages has been rough going for everyone that ISN'T White Men for a long time, and in classic fashion the millisecond White Men THOUGHT they might not actually be in control of EVERYTHING, they whined and bitched and moaned and appropriated the language of oppressed minorities as if everyone else in the room wasn't going to immediately call bullshit on that.

This is a situation where the fat, contented establishment of White male dominance is being challenged from all sides, including from other White Men. The walled city with all of the money and food and advantages is crying that it isn't FAIR that all of these poor, destitute peasants have risen up and politely pointed out that they aren't being fair or equitable or even sane. And the galling thing is that by using this language and keying into this feeling, that walled city has convinced a lot of the very people that should be absolutely be laying siege to it with the rest of us that THEY are actually under siege too, despite being outside of the wall, having none of the money, and no advantages.

Most, not all but most, of MAGA can be described this way. Ideological hostages, convinced they are somehow part of a club that does not care about them and is, in fact, eager to use them up and toss them aside. They are the philosophical equivalent of Free Real Estate, with not one critical thought given to their situation that might shatter the illusion.

This mentally twisted subservience is a minority. They don't want to be one or admit they are one, but they are. Maybe instead of deriding them, they need to be approached from this lens of Stockholm Syndrome suffering minorities who have been convinced to vote and cheer against their own self interest.

I know that sounds hard and probably a pain in the ass, and I get that. Fortunately, it is getting easier as the knock-on effects of their misguided vote become more and more apparent.

Don't give up on them. Keep trying. And maybe point out to them that minorities don't have to vote as a block, or all hold the same opinion.

Oh, and before anyone gets the wrong impression and in case I didn't make myself clear: Pete Hegseth is a blithering idiot, working for a man who is so unacquainted with his feet because of his spray-tanned girth that the reason he was able to dodge military service is a mystery to him now. I think the entire administration is full of idiots, con men, and idiotic con men who are all happily beholden to a foreign adversary because of precisely this same phenomenon. There's always a bigger fat cat, and in this case his name is Putin.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying, okay!?"

"We spent party money to buy you that axe! The least you could do is hit someone with it!"

"I said I'm trying!"

"Well, while you're 'trying,' I'm burning through spell slots just to keep these goddamn Goblins from shanking us all in the kneecaps! Swing at waist height! You're bound to hit something!"

"Why are you such an asshole?"

"My 23 and Me results showed that I'm 1/3rd Blackadder on my father's side. The caustic wit and general disdain for the poor examples of humanity that surround me are an inescapable side effect."

"Oh... so it's like a condition?"

"Yes, one of constant annoyance."

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