Imagine being a random gay Huaxian at the club and you look over your shoulder and the Prime Minister and Minister of Economics are making out whilst your dictator Empress is drinking orange juice in a corner. I'd fucking loose my shit 😭

NM and chikeen(Kevin)

Oh what a cute edit meme

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Cannibalism?

Yes... Cannibalism... A psychological horror AU(most it's just focused on the lore not the cannibal stuff...)

I have been looking more into the AU, cool stuff! I'm honestly just glad the ds/ff fandom is still active.

NM and chikeen(Kevin)

Oh what a cute edit meme

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Cannibalism?

This 8log has 8een taken over 8y me, VRISKA HOMESTUCK! And I'm not giving it 8ack to that 90 year old nonce EVER!!! At the end of the day, this 8log will explode, and Elvis Presley will 8e dead!! Forever!! Isn't that gr8? Unless the "King" manages to find me... Unlikely though!!

whAT

i went to the dentist today and my dentist honest to god said “can i ask you a question…….what the hell is in your mouth”

it was in awe lmao

then the hygienist and assistant all came over to look too and they were like “wooooow” and my ass was sitting there like

oh my god i posted this and then went to work, and

story time

okay so to preface this, my hometown where i’m originally from is a really fucking weird place. like from the outside it seems like a normal suburban town, but once you’re there for awhile you get the feeling that’s something’s not…quite all together. a lot of people are really fucking weird there — so much so that that was a running joke in school growing up, that people in the town were just like that. everyone knew not to go out to the farm lands surrounding the town especially at night, we called it “the cuts” and people used to disappear out there all the time or get shot at by the especially weird people that would live out there. the news was and still is truly a thing of horror. every time i come back i’m regaled with even more stories of crazy shit that has happened there.

to put it in perspective we generally never had “normal crime” like robbery or anything like that when i lived there, though that did happen sometimes. the news stories were always like, “a kid was kidnapped by local residents and tortured in a house around the corner,” “a random person was chased down and shot for sport in a really nice neighborhood,” “someone was gored to death by a bull while out car shopping,” etc. (these are all real, btw). everyone does drugs and the whole town is located really close to a government site where they test nuclear weapons and chemicals and shit. this is how i grew up, in this bizarre environment.

i need to preface it this way so that you get that it’s weird. it’s a fucking weird place. i used to listen to the welcome to night vale podcast and make comparisons from it to my hometown, that’s how weird it is.

i only say this so you know that this town is where i got my orthodontics from.

all the kids in my town went to this one particular orthodontist. i also used to go to a dentist in town that a lot of people went to as well. i had a permanent retainer put on my bottom teeth after braces and no one had ever said anything to me about the model of retainer itself or it being weird type of retainer at all. i saw a ton of other people (mostly other kids that were my age at the time) that had the same type of retainer as me too so i never thought about it.

so i kept my retainer in — it’s never caused me problems and it keeps my teeth straight, why not?

however i went to a dentist for the first time in a metropolitan area now, and when he saw it in my mouth his literal first reaction was to say “uh can i ask you a question….what the hell is that”

LITERALLY the words that he said

which in hindsight makes almost too much sense. of course my town of all towns would put these weird unnecessary contraptions in kids’ mouths, and of course it happened so much that everyone just thought it was normal. that sounds exactly, to a T, like my hometown.

my permanent bottom retainer is apparently this prototype that is so rare that he’s literally never seen it before in his life, not in dental school, nowhere. it’s not that it’s an outdated type, it’s just rare as fuck. they were still staring at pictures of it on my chart in wonder when i left the office.

so just know somewhere out there, in a weird ass suburban town where they test nuclear weapons and a good portion of the residents go fucking nuts, there’s probably hundreds of people still walking around with this same contraption in their mouth that exists nowhere else in the world thinking, “yeah, that’s cool. that makes sense. let me go drink the definitely not-contaminated water now and never move away from here.”

This sounds like an X-files episode

Okay, so I looked into it and I think that the town is Tracy, California.

I looked up the bull-murder thing OP mentioned and Tracy seemed to be only town that came up with a matching case. Though the man didn’t actually die from his injuries everything else matches up one for one. So just to make sure that it was the right town I looked to see if there was any murder-torture of young people in Tracy, and unfortunately there was. It was a 17 year old boy who escaped and survived the torture. And just to solidify that it was in fact Tracy I looked up shootings in residential areas and there was one of a 20 year old man who was shot and killed in a nice neighborhood.

Okay, but I decided to look into Tracy more to find out more information about it and the town is super suspicious. There’s been a lot of murders and shooting in the town. Back in 2009 an 8 year old girl, Sandra Cantu, was kidnapped and murdered by a Sunday school teacher who said she had no idea why she killed Sandra. Another case happened in 2018 when four underage boys were shot and one was killed by four teenage boys. There’s a lot of news stories on shootings, homicides, and drug busts in that town. It’s a really cute town from the outside, if you just look up Tracy, California there’s a lot of really cute businesses and nice articles on sweet things that happen in the town, but if you actually look into it the town is really sketchy.

So yeah, this sketchy town with a military base, multiple homicides and shootings is maybe Tracy, California.

………………..yeah, you guys caught me

i grew up in tracy

also i have to add another person’s tags to this since it’s honesty hour because they’re hilarious and true

Honestly I wasn’t even surprised when I found out it was in California. Even less surprised when googled it and found out it was near the Bay Area. That sounds about right.

Apparently the motto is “Think Inside the Triangle” and I’m not sure how to feel about that.

Im rebolgging just to add that it’s illegal to see the news from the city in UE. Like, LITERALLY:

it’s….what now

Please get out of this place

How did this post get weirder

Oh god my mom used to live in a town like that but like worse (not as far as weirdness, but like culturally worse)

So. Elk Mound Wisconsin. Very small population, very isolated. The water was neon orange, which is not uncommon in areas near mining. It’s because of the copper.

My mom moved around a lot so she didn’t grow up there, just lived there for a few years, in a condemned house, which a lot of the houses in the town were.

90% of people in the town had inverted nipples. Incest was common. One family had a set of quadruplets that were not identical, but they all died in a car crash and a couple of years later the family had a second set of nonidentical quadruplets that grew up to be identical to the first set of quadruplets. The condemned house my mom lived in was haunted by a (benign) ghost, that at one point threw things off shelves. My mom initially thought it was a trick but could find no way for it to have been done, and the weird stuff continued. At one point my mom poisoned the crops of one of her neighbors bc they ran down her dog for fun (they had serious problems) and the neighbors in question thought she was a witch and burned a cross into their yard. In a separate, later, incident, she and her siblings were walking to school and fellow students and teachers kept throwing rocks at them (sizable rocks, and many) attempting to stone them to death. It didn’t work mainly bc my mom and her siblings hunted squirrels via thrown rock so they started catching the rocks and throwing them back. There was a summer camp on a superfund site (I don’t remember if it was in the town or just near the town) where kids could learn farm work and logging work and earn some money (like a dollar per day, but that doesn’t matter bc it was child labor anyways). The water there would seep up from the ground in neon green puddles and kids splashed around in it and drank from it. This was one of the bands in WI where those magnetic rocks could be found, but the overall magnetic effect in some places was like. weirdly strong. There was one area that you straight up couldn’t use a compass in and people used to disappear there all the time. Sometimes in “hunting accidents” that very clearly were not accidents, but other times these disappearances were unexplained or attributed to supernatural forces. Most of the townspeople had a much easier time believing in supernatural forces than magnets messing with compasses. Which I would blame on the inbreeding and contaminated water, but might not be so unreasonable to believe if you were also raised in a town where some people purportedly had psychic powers. If I’m remembering the correct town (there were a couple ones with really high death rates), the death rates were insane, there were 24 people in my mom’s school when she moved there, and 8 when she left (not counting herself and her siblings in either of those numbers).

I have no idea how much it has changed since then, so I looked it up out of curiosity and found out about the haunted tower that supposedly has a literal dragon under it (lol) so yea i guess the town’s still weird.

No because my mom grew up in a town (I will not say where for safety reasons but I do not live in this town)(It is in the U.S though) and she was stalked by a lot of the people in town and she and her friends had CRAZY families. We don’t talk to my aunt because she’s fucking bonkers and my grandma lost her mind towards the end of her life and we had to cut ties with her.

One of her friends got attacked on Thanksgiving. Her sister just jumped on her back and started beating her and she was in the hospital for a long time. My mom had a guy sleep on her doormat. He fell asleep ON HER FRONT PORCH because she wouldn’t answer the door. She called her friend to come pick her up. A lot of her friends lived with her and her mom on and off because they didn’t want to/couldn’t stay with their families. A girl she knew from school got attacked at track practice. Apparently the girl stayed behind because she was getting tired and her friends ran ahead. It was during the summer so they were just practicing and there were no adults around. Then this guy just came out of the fucking forest and stabbed this girl three times and walked the fuck away. She lived but it was insane. They never caught the guy either.

There were people who lived on the outskirts of town who were crazy too. I asked my mom if there was ever anything in the water as a joke and her response? “Yeah, there was.” I forget what it was but it was like led or phenol or something like that. Which is concerning. It was a small town too, so everyone knew everyone and the crazy shit that happened always spread around.

Bonus: Her high school was built on a native american burial ground, which she did not appreciate. They tore it down eventually but to think it happened at all is aggravatinga.

I spent a lot of time handcuffed and in a cage in high school, for a charity bit the grocery store I worked at would do

the bit was that I was "put in jail for having too big a heart" and customers could donate to my bail to get me out (and the money would go to a children's hospital or something)

now. I was very clearly a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a large cage. and I would honestly tell people that I had been in there for hours. and people would say, that's terrible! that's awful! and I would show them my wrists red from the tight handcuffs, and say but I'm sooooooo close to making bail.

and then they would dump some cash in the basket, I'd thank them, and they'd walk away.

and every so often, one of the managers would come by and collect some of the cash, so I could keep being soooooo close to making bail.

I was very good with this bit. Parents with small kids would pay $5-10 if I told their children I had been placed in jail for not cleaning my room/doing my homework, etc. For people in their 20s, I'd threaten that I was very bad at playing the harmonica, but I WOULD play it and we'd all suffer unless they paid me. and for the most amount of money, older men in suits would almost always pay $20s if I avoided eye contact and stammered a lot.

eventually, the managers started to feel bad because I was in the cage so fucking long and often, that I'd need someone to brace me when I got out because I'd have no feeling in my legs. wobbling like a newborn giraffe.

but I would also rake in at LEAST $100 an hour in charity.

so they were like, hey champ. can we, uh, give you a pillow to sit on. in the cage. would you like a pillow so you're not just sitting on a cold metal slab. can we give you a pillow.

and I had to explain to them that if they gave me a pillow, people would think I was more comfortable, so they wouldn't feel as bad, so I'd bring in less money.

the compromise was that they'd bring me a nice coffee every couple hours, which I would have to try to block with my body from the customers.

all this money went to charity. that's what the money was for. it's what was on the sign. but how much they were willing to pay was very contingent on how comfortable I looked, never mind the fact that I was still a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a cage.

and out of the dozens of shifts I did this on, not ONCE did ANYONE say, hey kid I'm going to go talk to your manager because what the fuck is going on here. they would just drop money in the basket, and I'd thank them and sip from my secret drink.

I actually had people get MAD at me that I told them I was far away from bail, they donated like $15, and then 20 minutes I got let out because my shift ended.

again. the money was for charity. it was on the sign that was very clearly placed on the upper half of my cage.

so yeah. even when people think they mean well. people can be really, really fucking stupid.

took me a bit but this is roughly what the cage looked like, without the middle platform

It was something that was originally used in the back for carting boxes, but was repurposed into a teenager cage

they'd wheel it out and the one open side would be backed against either a wall or a large display (like very tall rows of soda boxes or something)

Then I'd get in, they'd push the thing so it would be as flush as possible against the wall, and then I'd stick my hands through the bars for them to handcuff me. there'd be a sign up top explaining the bit, and then a shopping basket tied on front for people to drop the money into.

the handcuffs were fake, and I could unlock them myself for obvious safety reasons. I would get more donations if they were tight, though.

After maybe a month or two, I asked for a harmonica to sell the bit. they also tried giving me a mug, but it was too awkward with the handcuffs. I got kind of okay at playing the harmonica, but the main point was just to do one sharp blast to startle people into looking down, and then I'd threaten that I had no idea how to play, but would do so anyway unless they donated to my bail. managers actually got me a prison jumpsuit to throw over my uniform, but it was really fucking awkward so we stopped eventually. I also got a metric fuckton of mardi gras beads so I could lure small children over, to then mournfully tell them of my imprisonment due to not cleaning my room, etc. parents would be moderately irritated that I'd lured their children over with beads, but would respect the game that I'd given their kids a whole new fear. I had some parents even ad lib what I could have been thrown in prison for. guaranteed donations.

obviously, the prison bit worked best with younger girls. my roughly 50-60 year old manager once congratulated me on doing so well with the donations because I "looked like a cute sad little puppy in one of those RSPCA commercials. like a helpless puppy or a kitten." wearing makeup and earrings also increased the rate of donations.

had to explain to another girl how I regularly got $20s, which was when an older guy in a suit walked by I'd rattle my handcuffs slightly to draw attention. 10/10 times the guy would walk over, and I had to tell this girl like. If you avoid eye contact and sound uncertain you will get at least $20. I am sorry. this is for children's cancer research.

cannot stress enough that the other employees fought to get to be in the cage. customers were so awful and the weather was so shitty. jail meant sitting down with very few expectations, talking and joking with people.

Anyway. Shit was definitely not an allegory, though it could be used as one for about 11 different things.

Still better than customer service.

Tumblr Code.

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

always reblog tumblr identification

good god this just crossed my dash in the year of our lord 2023

I LIKE YOUR SHOELACES??? IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2024??

Let’s take it to 4 million, folks!

almost there!

TO 4 MILLION!!!!!!!!!

THE ORIGINAL SHOELACES POST?? ON MY DASH IN 2024??

shoelaces. on your dash. in 2025.

Guys I'm screaming its been up there for less than 24 hours

Its gaining like 500 streams every time I check. This might actually chart in Australia at this rate 💀

Any profits are gonna go to an LGBT charity because the last thing the gay world needs more of rn is capitalism.

Link if you wanna help spotify it to the stars.

Very well, I shall blaze it amish style