potatoepus

i made a bluesky too. you can see it by leaving the house and looking up ❤️

this is my favorite tik tok account

getting a note on a super old post

reblog to slap op with some paper in the wind

"if you dont ask the answer is always no" yeah but what if the answer is no plus they think im weird for asking. did you ever consider that in ur stupid fucking philosophy

old German lady gave me acupuncture today

she lifted up my shirt, saw my top surgery scars, and immediately went "WHOA! What caused THIS?"

my fellow comrades, it took every atom of my strength not to just say the funniest lie I could think of on the spot.

but the point of this session was: we’ll make a vicious attack dog of her yet ♥️

Out of a Sheltie???

Can't you see the innate aggression in those eyes??

yeah, this is proper way to address me from now on 😌

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

how dare you say we piss on the poor

all hail the 1 million note Piss Post

everyone quiet down dj unprotected sex is getting an unexpected call from the clinic

i used to love you forever

"Ok, ma'am that'll be 226.03$."

I take my wallet out of my pocket and unfold it. It is empty other than a single moth that lazily flies out. The moth lands on the tap point of the card reader. There's a beat, and my payment is processed. The moth flies back into my wallet and I put it back in my pocket.

A tree fell on my fence. Making the best of it while I negotiate the repair.

i should be allowed to wear a sign around my neck that says "HAD WEIRD DREAMS LAST NIGHT DO NOT SPEAK TO ME UNLESS I SPEAK TO YOU"

antipurpose flour this shit will actively kill you if you use it for anything

early to bed and early to rise leaves a man so fucked up that he dies