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i'm rob. i'm captain lesbian. 27, they, white, socal. about

There’s a post about how we need more female characters who genuinely care about people but are really bad at caregiving, and honestly that fits Kira Nerys really well. I’m thinking of Starship Down where she’s tasked with looking after Sisko and keeping him conscious when he has a head injury, and she just starts visibly flailing despite making an effort to hold it together. “Listen up…. because there’s going to be a test later” and then trying to keep him alert by droning on about duty rosters because she gets Task-Oriented when things are in dire straits and does not know how to scale things to a more personal level with someone she has a working relationship with.

Like, so much of how she deals with emotionally fraught situations is by getting up and doing something about them (even so far as traveling back in time) or just keeping busy to avoid dwelling on the matter at hand. When her father was dying, her response was to go out and kill some Cardassians about it, and then order another attack upon his death, rather than sit by his bedside. When Bareil died (pre-resurrection via mad scientist noodling) she went right back to work despite Bashir telling her she didn’t have to. It is a trauma mindset from someone who witnessed a lot of death and suffering and had no choice but to pick up and keep moving and keep fighting. And when she has to sit down and really focus on someone else’s vulnerability, it’s very uncomfortable for her. She cares very deeply about the people around her but she’s clumsy about it.

hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...

I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED

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charlottan

this april fools reblog to let your followers know that they are not safe from getting DEERED

i think there was a fun. subversion or whatever with venat. for years people believed she held her godhood over our heads in some way and dragged people into being her chosen ones with chosen missions, but in the end her goal was to fight that sort of destiny. amaurotines believed they had a preordained holy mission in life, that they were born to perfectly create and manage a perfect world, and she took that mission from their hands and smashed it to irreparable pieces when such a duty became too difficult to keep on against…well just time and the great universe. she saw all the nicks and the cracks that had been there since the beginning and how people couldnt reconcile them then nor now when shit hit the fan, when the Second Coming Came and all their imperfections were suddenly weighed and so many feared failure and feared eternal hell, so she grabbed it and threw it out before it consumed them. in a way i get why this rubs some people the wrong way because she did destroy a “great work”, and there is comfort in being born as something and being born to do something and being guranteed safety and peace so long as you meet seemingly inherent conditions. but for those who felt like they didn’t belong to this essential definition and duty, or disagreed with the mission from the first place, and even for those who longed to belong to this definiton, who became destructively obsessed with a perfection that they could never achieve nor mantain as just another-people-who-existed-for-a-time, she was like. nope enough of that and blew it up.

and she’d only ever extended her blessing as a well-wish to people who fought against what felt like destiny, to people who challenged the ideas of what people are or are doomed to be…every choice to keep going in the msq was the wol’s. it wasn’t faith or accordance she demanded of us, it was faith she had in us the other way around, a similar faith a mentor or a parent has in you when they say, okay go pursue what you want; your life is your own, even if it isn’t perfect, even if it means you’ll go through hardships, and you’ve never given me a reason to believe you couldn’t figure it out. and that explains why so many of her “chosen” had conflicting viewpoints and and why we had fought against each other and had to come to understand each other instead of being a perfect gods angels army. the leap of faith was on her part. it never mattered if you hated or loved her or believed in or rebelled against her because it was your life

last week two ambulances, a fire truck, a UN vehicle and around 16 rescue workers were dispatched to save people crushed under the rubble after a bombing in rafah (do you remember rafah? one of biden's red lines.) they disappeared, and due to israeli tanks nobody could enter the area and nobody knew what had happened to them.

a few days ago after the tanks left the vehicles were discovered crushed and buried under the sand, and one rescue worker's body was recovered. israel admitted to targeting them. and then yesterday the rest of the workers' bodies were recovered in a mass grave. one of the corpses had wire around one foot, indicating torture and interrogation, several handcuffed, all of them buried in their clearly marked uniforms and gloves.

cnn reported this story alongside like five other incidents of israel targeting humanitarian workers this past week to little outrage because the workers killed were palestinian and not international, and because israel has been regularly killing humanitarian workers.

but for the PRCS (the palestinian red crescent society), the same organization that hind rajab called desperately from her car around this time last year, one of the few that struggled to save lives throughout the war even when it got their workers killed by israeli forces, these are fathers, sons and loved ones who spent a genocide digging people out of rubble with no equipment and trying to save lives:

all of them were buried in a careless mass grave of rescue workers, found after a week of pleading from their loved ones and radio silence from their murderers and those who enable them.

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Reblogged miloucie

No, no. I can have one more shot, I swear. I won’t start behaving like a flamboyantly gay pansy stock character in a pre-code film again. I swear. You can trust me. Darling, you must trust me.

I have been thinking a lot about what a cancer diagnosis used to mean. How in the ‘80s and ‘90s, when someone was diagnosed, my parents would gently prepare me for their death. That chemo and radiation and surgery just bought time, and over the age of fifty people would sometimes just. Skip it. For cost reasons, and for quality of life reasons. My grandmother was diagnosed in her early seventies and went directly into hospice for just under a year — palliative care only. And often, after diagnosis people and their families would go away — they’d cash out retirement or sell the house and go live on a beach for six months. Or they’d pay a charlatan all their savings to buy hope. People would get diagnosed, get very sick, leave, and then we’d hear that they died.

And then, at some point, the people who left started coming back.

It was the children first. The March of Dimes and Saint Jude set up programs and my town would do spaghetti fundraisers and raffles and meal trains to support the family and send the child and one parent to a hospital in the city — and the children came home. Their hair grew back. They went back to school. We were all trained to think of them as the angelic lost and they were turning into asshole teens right in front of our eyes. What a miracle, what a gift, how lucky we are that the odds for several children are in our favor!

Adults started leaving for a specific program to treat their specific cancer at a specific hospital or a specific research group. They’d stay in that city for 6-12 months and then they’d come home. We fully expected that they were still dying — or they’d gotten one of the good cancers. What a gift this year is for them, we’d think. How lucky they are to be strong enough to ski and swim and run. And then they didn’t stop — two decades later they haven’t stopped. Not all of them, but most of them.

We bought those extra hours and months and years. We paid for time with our taxes. Scientists found ways for treatment to be less terrible, less poisonous, and a thousand times more effective.

And now, when a friend was diagnosed, the five year survival odds were 95%. My friend is alive, nearly five years later. Those kids who miraculously survived are alive. The adults who beat the odds are still alive. I grew up in a place small enough that you can see the losses. And now, the hospital in my tiny hometown can effectively treat many cancers. Most people don’t have to go away for treatment. They said we could never cure cancer, as it were, but we can cure a lot of cancers. We can diagnose a lot of cancers early enough to treat them with minor interventions. We can prevent a lot of cancers.

We could keep doing that. We could continue to fund research into other heartbreaks — into Long Covid and MCAS and psych meds with fewer side effects and dementia treatments. We could buy months and years, alleviate the suffering of our neighbors. That is what funding health research buys: time and ease.

Anyway, I’m preaching to the choir here. But it is a quiet miracle what’s happened in my lifetime.

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