Redcoffee art

Apparently Miles is a JJK fan (in the comics)

If you put these two in a room together I think the result would be adorable 🥺

TimKon first kiss!

So, when the Batkids get hurt, like, seriously hurt, they logically know that they best place they could go is the batcave. Fully stocked infirmary, the most updated medical technology possible, and Alfred to give them tea and sew up all of the wounds that they can't quite reach.

However, if any of them are even mildly beefing with Bruce, which they almost always are, they'll be damned if they're gonna face The Disappointed Bat Glare (tm) while also bleeding out, much less the speech that will inevitably follow.

This leads to either

A. The batkids sneaking into each others apartments and safehouses to get help, aka

Tim: -humming to himself as he flicks on the lights of the common room at Titans Tower-

Dick: -slumped on the couch dripping blood from two stab wounds- Hey, Timmy. Could you get your med kit?

Tim: -brief high pitched scream- FUCK!!! -long silence- Yeah, sure.

Dick: Great. Also, Bart heard me calling for you in the dark, and he thought I was a ghost of some sort. I think he ran to Mexico to get away, so you might want to track him down.

B. The batkids attempting to sneak into the batcave and patch themselves up without Bruce realizing they were ever there, aka

Jason: -sneaking through the medical bay in the dark, trying to silently open drawers when the lights suddenly come on-

Alfred: -standing by the light switch- Master Jason, may I inquire as to what you're doing here?

Jason: -actively gushing blood from his side- ....Nothing.

Alfred: Do you require stitches?

Jason: ....No.

Alfred: -actively pulling out the supplies to stitch up his wound- If you say so, Master Jason.

Kept thinking about how weak and disorientated Jon gets when cut off from the Eye, which got me thinking about Martin having to help him as his state got worse.

Surprisingly, instead of getting angsty, I ended up with Jon being carried around like a ragdoll.

Bruce Wayne panicking because he walks into a WE board meeting to see a fully suited Red Hood sat at the table spinning around in a wheelie chair and CEO Tim Drake can only shrug and be like 'well he wanted to invest money'

Bruce, frantically pulling Tim aside: he is a CRIMINAL

Tim: so is like 90% of Gotham's elite. nobody else cares.

*both of them peer through the window to see literally nobody else in the meeting acting like a helmeted crime lord amongst them is any way odd. Stacy from accounting offers him a coffee and Red Hood denies politely*

Bruce: i understand him donating money, but why is he at our board meetings!??!

Tim: oh he bought like, over half our stocks. he owns 58% of the company now

Bruce:

Bruce: but thats...

Tim: yeah. more than you. Jason's the majority shareholder now.

Bruce:

Bruce: why did you let him do this

Tim: well you WANTED him to be part of the FAMILY again-

Bruce: SO YOU APPROVED HIM BUYING MY COMPANY?!

Tim:

Tim: shouldnta' benched me from fucking patrol.

Bruce:

Red Hood, knocking on the glass: can y'all wrap it the fuck up? i have other meetings to attend to after this

On a star wars prequels kick. AU where Sidious buys Shmi and tiny Anakin from Gardulla, like yes this the best back up apprentice plan ever.

Maul is obviously Not Happy, tries to pull some shit and Shmi is like. No.

Anyway Shmi secretly adopts a raging teenager and they plan to kill their slaver. Maul's not really in a place to accept a parental figure and Shmi only has the resources and energy for one son, so they end up with a somewhat sibling like relationship.

At some point, Shmi gets shunted out of the picture, and a furious Maul is left to cobble together a new plan on his own and he manages to escape with Anakin but not kill Sidious. Fuck, Shmi's not here and Maul has to take care of her kid on his own. Fuck. Oh well, he can't be worse than Sidious... Fuck it, he's going to be a best caretaker ever out of sheer spite. Anakin can be his apprentice now and it will be epic.

Anakin doesn't really want to be a Sith in particular but he's free! He can always say no later so he figures he might as well be Maul's apprentice until he finds his mom again. He likes Maul and maybe he can teach him how to fly because wow those were some crazy moves.

At some later point, an ex-padawan Obi-Wan stumbles upon two traumatised former Sith apprentices. One is a small child and terribly endearing, and the other is a passionate but still incredibly dubious caretaker okay? What's he going to do? Walk away and forget?

Maul hates him. Anakin adores him, maybe a little too much. Cue dysfunctional found family shenanigans.

Maul is determined to be a Sith without his master, Obi-Wan is there to say which Sith things are bloody fucking insane and not allowed in this house (ugly fucking smuggler ship that Anakin keeps tinkering with to have, are those flamethrowers in the walls?! Anakin.). Maul is there to stab at Obi-Wan's great wall of Disaster Lineage Repression™️ until it starts to crumble. They argue a lot and somehow both end up with healthier mental states and force connections. While arguing about how best to take care of a child they decide they need an third adult opinion and accidentally rope everyone into therapy.

They reunite with Shmi and wow, Anakin now has three parents! Wizard. Shmi, in her manic attempts to return to her son and ensure they are all free and remain so, has accidentally become a pirate queen... They can work with this.

So: a pirate queen freedom fighter, a rogue Sith, a rogue Jedi, and an Anakin. The galaxy isn't ready. Sidious is seething and frantically trying train a new apprentice.

(He gets Dooku, except Qui-Gon is alive and very much Dooku's achilles heel, and will later foil Sidious' plans for his master. Jango Fett is in way over his head, good thing this Tyrannus seems to have suddenly had a chance of heart.)

The Whills are intrigued. The Jedi are totally lost, what is happening? Quinlan Vos in particular is laughing. The Shadow Council is somewhere between amused and bemused that the surprise!Sith apprentice actually turned out pretty decent, and he's helping them with their shared goal of getting rid of his master. What an unexpected win. They'll take it, the rest of the Jedi cannot know of him until then.

This kind of AU is my Achilles heel 💯

#someonewritethisplease #oriwill #hjdjdkckdhsjahfb