Octopodes

via @swatercolor [insta]

This is the best tag I've ever received on a post, I think

For no reason, here is Art Spiegelman's 1991 graphic novel Maus, for free on the Internet Archive.

I was reading an interview from two years ago about Maus being banned in a few places and this was in.

Art Spiegelman recognizes that trans people are going to be some of the first targets of bullshit and he’s out there speaking up.

Hey, oomfies! This Eid, let’s spread some more love to Gaza. Grassroots orgs there are doing incredible work despite the many limitations...getting food, meds, and shelter to families who’ve lost everything. Even a few bucks can make a real difference. Donate the cost of a coffee!

commuting to the bit. yeah ill be there in about 40 minutes just keep stalling

The trans girl you have a crush on is literally never going to get the hint, you gotta fucking tell her, now, go do it.

Also like, even if we do get the hint we're incredibly used to our flirtations being treated as predatory. Like if I had a nickel for every time someone expressed interest in me and was being extremely flirty and forward and then I matched 1/10th of their energy and suddenly all the air was sucked from the room and their interest disappeared the moment I was not a passive object of their affections.... I'd probably be able to buy myself some ice cream and bubble tea right now

Seriously. Please, if you're crushing on a trans woman, be forward about your intentions if you decide you want to act on it.

Being coy while playing with a trans girls heartstrings is a terrible way to get her to like you back, especially when trans women are so often emotionally manipulated and abused, where people take advantage of our need for human connection.

If you want the trans girl you're crushing on to feel safe around you, be genuine. Be sweet. Be there for her when no one else is. And above all else: be patient. You don't know how many times her affections have been used as a weapon against her.

My new method to avoid eye contact is a low cut top and a push-up bra.

That's right, this whole time I've been on HRT for the distracting and alluring cleavage which serves to alleviate so much otherwise awkward social interactions.

No more complex social small talk to navigate, just people trailing off while their eyeballs do the walking. This whole master plan was a stroke of genius.

this girl playing 4-d chess with the allistics

Actually it's just 38C but thanks.

WHO KEEPS DOING THIS

This is just very funny to me.

Not even his robot child likes him

GET GRUFFALO'D, BITCH

If you haven't heard of Julia Donaldson, she's primarily a picture book author, who we can thank for extremely popular Halloween classic Room on the Broom as well as the Gruffalo.

Let this be a testament to the power of picture books.

I'm living for these jokes.

Also I need "GET GRUFFALO'D, BITCH" on a T-shirt.

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.

“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry

love,

blue”

the subject line was “OW”

THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”

As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”

Reblogging for the last addition

Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.

Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldn’t come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you weren’t coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that she’d printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.

Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.

IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.

It’s even worse than i remember it

I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.

Once emailed a professor from my hospital bed high on painkillers after a really bad car crash which my heart actually stopped the email “Dead cant class sory”

i was very sick over new years and one day i woke up to find i had emailed my manager in the middle of the night:

she said it was the most beautiful sick email she’s ever gotten

Once sent a relatively coherent email that started with:

“So I’m writing this from a hospital bed, right…”

How it feels having no bills to pay

this is so sweet...

thinkin about a baby of my acquaintance & how when her parents are hanging out & chatting, she’ll almost fully participate in the conversation–politely watching who’s talking, saying something approx the same length & tone of what her parents are saying, occasionally using a questioning cadence & looking at someone specific for an answer, laughing when they laugh–doing everything except actually using any recognizable language

this baby also once tipped me a granola bar at work. she’d been watching everyone in line very closely & when it was her parent’s turn, at exactly the right point in the transaction for a tip, she pickpocketed her mom’s granola bar & shoved it in the tip har

This baby has better social skills than me

This baby has better social skill than this entire antisocial media site.

this baby has better social skills than my baby good for her

i once took an uber driven by an eccentric older gentleman who told me about his young man’s travels in nepal. he said that in a town too small for any formal hospitality, he had been hosted overnight by a nepali family who spoke no english. he spoke no nepali. i asked what they did all night. with an air of matter of factness, he said they shared drinks and talked. “there we sat,” he said, “sipping i’m not sure what. it was white, and strong. and they’d tell me a story in nepali. didn’t get a word. but i could tell when they’d finished and we’d all laugh together. then i’d tell a story in english. they didn’t get a word. but when i finished, we all laughed together. lovely night. lovely, lovely people.” i think this baby gets it