[research life]

A Friday spent at home studying with coffee and sunshine streaming through the windows ✨☕️

Mint Chocolate Cream Puff

“Death blowing bubbles,” 18th century. The bubbles symbolize life’s fragility. This plaster work appears on the ceiling of Holy Grave Chapel in Michaelsberg Abbey, Bamberg, Germany. (+)

journal entry - 8.17.22 

“what is something that is always true?” 

Dragan Bibin “The Human Condition”

(28/02) I love going to the library so much, but I'm gonna have to start bringing a blanket to not freeze in there.

25.03.2025—had a much better day today, had a great GP appointment & now doing some chill study

Anna Amalia Bibliothek in Weimar

𝔟𝔢𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔫 𝔞𝔠𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔪𝔦𝔠 𝔰𝔲𝔠𝔠𝔢𝔰𝔰

Do not punish the behaviour you want to see

I mean, it seems pretty obvious when you put it like that, right?

But how many families, when an introvert sibling or child makes an effort to socialize,  snarkily say, “So, you’ve decided to join us”?

Or when someone does something they’ve had trouble doing, say, “Why can’t you do that all the time?” (Happened to me, too often.)

Or any sentence containing the word “finally”. 

If someone makes a step, a small step, in a direction you want to encourage, encourage it. Don’t complain about how it’s not enough. Don’t bring up previous stuff. Encourage it.

Because I swear to fucking god there is nothing more soul-killing, more motivation-crushing, than struggling to succeed and finding out that success and failure are both punished.

Encouragement and acknowledgment are so much more effective than punishment.

One of the moments that I think about a lot when I think about how much I love my Dad, is that once when I was a teenager prone to spending long hours alone in my room I emerged to spend time with the family, he joked “Oh look, it’s the lodger!”

And before I’d even processed what he meant (that I was behaving more like a tenant than a family member), he went on some kind of internal flashback journey, and said “My father used to say that to me and I hated it, I don’t know why I said it to you,” and he apologised, and never made a joke like that again.

It’s like he did a speedrun on overcoming generational trauma.

[Image description: Tags saying, “‘hello beautiful’ from my roommates got me to hang out in the living room more often than my room way more than ‘look who’s decided to join us’ ever would. Also got us all into the habit of calling each other beautiful to the point that we believed it.” End description.]

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Neurodivergent trauma often includes a fear of succeeding.

And that's because when you succeed, even once, even slightly, even if it's a total fluke, even if you completely burned yourself out in order to do it, even if it only worked under specific circumstances, people use that as evidence that your struggles vanished.

Neurodivergent

trauma often includes a

fear of succeeding.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.