just yelling into the void

went to an arcade today and used some of the built up credit to get a 'lucky dip' bag because i thought it would be fun to give to some younger family members over the holidays. so i ask for one and the kid at the desk says "sure. do you want a boy one or a girl one?" and babe i'm usually polite about this but i'd dyked myself up to the max today and had apparently forgotten my mental filter at home so i instinctively burst out "THEY'RE GENDERED?" in the middle of a very busy arcade and the guy starts laughing so hard he has to pull out his inhaler

HAHAHHAH GOOD TRY MOTHERFUCKER WE COUNT ANY POST WITH FIFTEEN NOTES AS A HIT ON THIS FUCKING BLOG. NONE OF THAT "INVESTING" SHIT WORKS HERE

whys combat and military gear always got to look so fucking cool when the people wearing them just objectively arent. thats unfair

this goes for like, all of time. knights are serving the KING? the fucking KING?

you cant serve cunt and the government at the same time come on now pick the right side i know you have it in you

Jesus said this. Matthew 6:24

jesus said this

Sooo eepy...

Every single time someone mentions police role-playing in a sexual context I think of this tinder interaction and I instantly become absolutely stricken with laughter

this is all kinds of talent right here

I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"

One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"

Then they spit roast me

I didn't wanna say this but now that someone's left this kind of comment I have to be honest: Everyone else's tags are funny but this is the only person who understood my vision for this scenario

can i have some of your autism? just a taste bro i swear

thank you for getting exactly what i meant

confirmed: autism transmitted via wanton slutiness. now gimme

You come across a family on your hike

They’ll mug you for mcdonald money

In time travel movies, when the time traveler asks 'What year is this?!?' they're always treated like they're being weird for asking.

When in reality, if you go 'What year is this?!?' people will just say '2024. Crazy huh.' and you go 'Wtf where has my youth gone.'

And if you ask 'And what month??' people won't judge you, they'll just go like 'SEPTEMBER!!! Can you believe it?!?!' and you go 'WHAT?!? Last time I checked we were in May?!?'

That is a great point. Especially if you time travel to a period of Big Historical Events, when everybody's looking a little wild about the eyes.

"Hey, what month is it?"

"January already, can you believe it? I swear I was just at Pompeii, but no one's going there again."

In the same vein:

Stumbling into a diner and asking "What town is this" isn't weird, the workers will think you're on a road trip

If you ask them "Where's the nearest Nano Deck?" they'll assume it's a shop they've never heard of and say "Sorry, I don't know where any of those are"

Going into a store and telling a cashier "I need pods for my comm device" will just get you a "Never heard of those, maybe try Radio Shack?"

I think the problem is that people who create sci-fi movies have never had to work customer service jobs

some of you have GOT to get comfortable with lying and situational morality and i'm not kidding

telling the truth to the killer means that you would have lied to your friend about hiding him

She's so perfect she just goes right back to doing her thing

Chinese zokor (Eospalax fontanierii). Despite their mole-like appearance, zokors are actually rodents, being closely related to blind mole rats and bamboo rats. But unlike other burrowing rodents, they dig using their claws and not their incisors!

They’re also really cute.

Whatever, go my mole zokor

everyone’s trying to stump the akinator so i’m gonna try and see if he’ll know that i’m thinking of the little symbol on the front of his turban

come on it hasn’t even been 10 fucking seconds

GOD DAMN IT

i fucking hate this stupid piece of shit genie fuck him i hate him so fucking much

via @swatercolor [insta]

This is the best tag I've ever received on a post, I think

this is such a profoundly stupid thing to be mad about but. i periodically think about how banksy made one of my single favorite pieces of art of all time, and everything else he's ever done has sucked. man, how did you nail it once

It's this piece, titled The Banality of the Banality of Evil. Because on first glance, you're like. Yeah, okay, it's obvious what it's saying. Even nazis, even evil people can appreciate beauty, too. But then you learn its name, and suddenly the interpretation shifts a bit. The idea that evil is banal has in itself become banal. my first response to seeing a nazi on a bench is "oh it's about the banality of evil" and not "jesus christ there's a nazi on the bench."

and like. i dunno i think that's a really interesting way for a title to recontextualize a piece. it's finding nuance by tearing out the nuance you want to project onto it. it's not the greatest piece of art ever made, but i'd be lying if i said i didn't have a huge soft spot for it

Okay but I have to add to this

what I find really interesting is how the way this is drawn (especially considering who drew it) the art style seems extremely deliberate. This type of nostalgic landscape painting is very reminiscent of nazi art and specifically, Hitler's art.

Nazis were extremely judgmental of "entartete Kunst" (degenerate art). Bansky's usual work very well fall into this category! So for him to go for this style of painting in particular is another choice I find very interesting, because I can see some people react to this painting with some variation of "oh, I didn't know he could actually draw! I thought he is a hack but he is a real artist!" - and that is where they would agree with the Nazis.

I dunno I just find this piece very compelling

oh that is actually fascinating. in fact, to add on- a detail I omitted because I just kinda forgot to mention it. The reason there’s two signatures in the corner is because it was a painting in a thrift shop, Banksy adding the Nazi, and then returning it to the shop.

I think there’s something interesting about recognizing the lineage of this type of art and wanting to mess with it, subvert the intent, and explore the topic and legacy. It’s potent. I really like this piece

brainstorming 🎀🪲

You haven’t played Crab Rave in a while. You kids used to love Crab Rave.

The circumstances just aren’t raving 😔🦀🦀🦀