botched mid-air circumcision

oh boy! yippee!

so super basic run down, assuming little to no knowledge of the sport:

hockey is played in 3 20 minute periods with 17 minute intermission in between. of course those 20 minutes take longer to actually get through due to various stoppages in play - things like icing, penalties, goalie covering the puck etc. if a game is tied at the end of the three periods, it goes into overtime, which is the bane of my existence.

in the nhl during regular season overtime is a played in 5 minute periods of 3-on-3, rather than the usual 5-on-5, and it ends when the next goal is scored. in the playoffs they just add another 20 minute 5-on-5 period, but it still ends with the next goal

hockey teams are made up of (usually); four forward lines, each consisting of a left wing, a center, and a right wing; three defense pairs, one left one right; and two goalies, a starter and a backup. what left and right here refers to is literally what side of the ice the player will spend most of their time. it sometimes correlates with wether they shoot right handed or left handed, but not always!

at any given time, a team will have 6 players on the ice: a forward line, a d-pair, and the goalie. (unless it’s towards the end of a game and the score is close, in which case a team might pull their goalie to have an extra skater). there IS a penalty for having too many men on the ice and it’s the dumbest penalty a team can get bc how hard is it to count to five cmon.

and of course. teams score goals by getting the puck in the net. but watch out! there are rules about that too. can’t kick the puck in, but it can bounce off the skate. if a player is offsides before the goal, meaning they entered the offensive zone before the puck did, that’s a no goal. also goaltender interference which is when the goaltender interferes with play a player interferes with the goalies ability to do their job of stopping the puck.

i can and happily will get into various penalties if you’d like also! but basically sometimes a player does something that’s against the rules and they gotta go sit in the timeout box for 2-5 minutes (depending on what the penalty is for) and their team is down one player for the duration. fighting is in fact one of those penalties! but it’s also a beloved part of the sport!

as far as things to know/keep in mind while attending a game:

it might be chilly, especially if you’re up by the glass, but it’s gonna be less cold than you think, so if you wear a sweatshirt or something, i advise that it’s something you can take off if you get too warm! hockey is a fast paced exciting sport and it can get the blood pumping! also, banging on the glass and jeering the opposing team are absolutely part of attending a game, as long as one doesn’t go completely overboard! booing and shouting and yelling in excitement are all welcome!

somethings maybe change slightly depending on what level of game you’re seeing (like is this nhl, is it the minors, is it beer league, is it ncaa etc) so if you want more specifics on what kinda game your seeing let me know!!

and also any other questions you have!! i can and will talk about hockey for one william years and i love giving people intro knowledge on my fav sport!! please send whatever you might want to know my way no question is too dumb or too specific for me to answer!!