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i have a bad feeling about this

@secondstar-acorn

Star | he/him | 21
Listen man when I say this blog is the most inconsistent ever I mean it I go through fandoms like it’s my job BUT! You can expect to find: Starkid, Dungeons and Daddies, Star Wars, Merlin, X-Men, and more!! (It’s really just my hyperfixation of the month tbh)
My ao3 is lemoncellbros!

watching karen on the ground with foggy, hands shaking, pleading to god that it isn't matt on the ground behind her too. her heart is already broken but not quite split into two just yet. watching her slowly turn around to check. she’s relieved but at what cost. she thought she lost both of her friends in a single night. I hate it here. waited 7 long years only to be emotionally destroyed in 15 minutes.

in the past few weeks, matthew murdock has:

tried to murder bullseye, which goes against his moral code as a catholic vigilante
had deep doubts about his purpose since foggy's death
been unable to even say foggy nelson's name because it hurts too much
been shown cooking food both in the dark and with the lights on
listened in on a catholic mass from outside the church because he does not feel worthy to enter under that roof
worn his cross necklace in every episode
comforted a grieving child
listened to vinyl records
unlocked a bank vault by listening to the clicks
done a pretty convincing irish accent to buy hostages time
muttered "fuck" under his breath
worn henleys
screamed in frank castle's face about bullseye getting life in prison as if that were enough punishment for murdering his best friend... but it isn't enough for matt and everyone (including him) knows it
prayed to God through the intercession of saint ives, patron saint of lawyers and abandoned children
used foggy nelson's funeral card as a saint's card while praying, and kissed it reverently
flirted with sofija about showing her his heightened senses
said "through Christ our Lord who lives and reigns with You [God] in the unity with the Holy Spirit, Amen"
gotten up in powell's face with this shit eating, teasing grin on his face
uttered phrases such as "c'mere", "shh/shush", "i'm here, it's okay", "can you do that?", and "i know, i know"
pulled the "are you talking to me? i'm visually impaired" schtick not once but twice
called heather "sweetie"
canonically had shower sex
kissed heather's forehead and hands, and lovingly caressed her face
almost killed muse by impaling him with his grappling hook thing

i am thoroughly convinced that they did all of this for me specifically.

i feel like some of you are unable to wrap your heads around matt being a flawed person beyond "uwu my flawed traumatized baby"

he lies, he's reckless, he wrongs and disrespects the people he cares about, he's a hypocrite of the highest order, he decides that sometimes he knows best and that he is right to bulldoze over the motivations of other people.

after outing ayala as the white tiger in court — which i do think is in-character, he's a great lawyer but he's known to take risks and allow his daredevil-ness to bleed into how he presents his clients — he tries to moralize to hector with borrowed lines from maggie. matt, with his current rejectionist viewpoint on vigilantism, thinks he has done hector a favor by making it impossible or hard for him to be white tiger. he makes false equivalencies and says things that he knows are bullshit because he's deluding himself.

despite all his altruism (which he is currently going on a year of suppressing), matt is a spectacularly self-centered person. it's an argument he and foggy had multiple times. but as the audience, we can see the extent of it in a way that foggy can't: matt filters the world around him through the ways he thinks about himself. vigilantism lost matt his best friend, therefore it is not only okay but right for him to take the white tiger from hector (it would protect his loved ones).

but we know that matt is still experiencing a great deal of cognitive dissonance. it's not really as simple as "vigilantism bad" for him, is it? so we get matt saying things he would not otherwise say, not only to justify himself to hector but also to convince himself.

still not over that robber calling matt oliver twist

even hes like "a blind irish orphan lawyer with a catholic martyr complex? isnt that a bit much?"

and he doesnt even know about the "magic ninja vigilante and also a slut" part. matthew murdock: character of all time

let’s not forget when the irish robber said “jesus wept” when matt revealed he was an orphan

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