Spongebob's Dad

Finding out that World Athletics pays $100k every time a new world record is set so so Mondo Duplantis has just been setting it 1cm at a time from 6.17m to 6.25m in the past 4 years is so funny??? Finessing 1 million dollars 1 cm at a time even though he can clearly go higher at one shot???? #respect

Financial scam cause how has he gone and done it a month after doing it

If he has that kind of precision he deserves to be able to do this

Being an evil doppelganger has to be so fucked up like imagine meeting a better version of yourself. Some chain of events going differently that led to "you" being a better person in a way you can never achieve. Personally I'd have no other option but to try and kill them

It's always "oh no my evil clone or twin or whatever is trying to kill me" and never How is my evil clone? Says a lot about society

Me, crashing the fuck out: you think you're better than me? You think you're fucking better than me???

My good clone, dodging a glass: I mean like objectively yeah

Sometimes? Being a hater is fun. Getting irrationally mad at something that is minor in the grand scheme of things is good for the soul, it helps you get out of bed in the mornings

"But Mike, being a hater is exhausting!" I don't care, I'm in it purely for the love of the game

i hope you write (i hope we both write)

hand in unedited hand

this one's been on the backburner for a bit

Pointing out how the 4-year-old Jack Russell terrier was already shaking with anticipation, avid bungee jumper Isaac Branch confirmed Thursday that his dog also loves bungee jumping. “Rocko’s obsessed with bungee jumping—he does it all the time!” said Branch, 25, who described the 15-pound canine as a “total adrenaline junky” who gets so riled up by just the sight of the bungee harness that he often urinates all over the floor.

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sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

why is this so funny

how much of a transphobe do you have to be in order to get suspended on the transphobia website

the biggest scam tumblr pulls is all the people who come here convinced they want to be tumblr famous

the best experience you can have on tumblr is goofing around with your mutuals and one of the worst experiences is having a post with 20k+ notes.

i think it’s a shame that in the process of “a million dollars but you have an immortal snail following you that will kill you if it touches you” becoming a mainstream concept we’ve lost part of the original prompt, which is that the snail receives a million dollars as well

This took me out

I love it when Conclave said oh so the church is able to break with tradition when it comes to iphones, vapes, rolling suitcases, and steel-fortified window coverings, but not when it comes to feminism, pluralism, and the nuances of sex and gender. How interesting. Anyway, here is a remarkably sad old man.

i liked this movie a lot

there is still time never kill yourself etc etc