SerpentMythos

I’m gonna get a dakimakura of a dakimakura

Alolan Swinub

Type: Ground/Fairy Description: Imported to Alola from the Johto Region, generations of exposure to warmer climates and local sweets have caused Swinub to become Ground/Fairy type. Mellow and kind-tempered, these Pokemon have a sensitive nose and exquisite palate, making them great partners for chefs, as well as families attracted to their small size and friendly nature. Their meat is said to be extremely sweet and tender; owners should take care to protect their Alolan Swinub from local predators.

This Alolan Swinub was designed by and belongs to @notyourguts. It was inspired by the Kunekune pig of New Zealand.

- - - - - - - - - -

Follow for more Fakemon designs!

FAQ | Social Media | Pokemon Index | Commission Information

I love Josh’s anti-classism so much. I grew up in a single parent household that didn’t have time/the ability to cook. I taught myself as an adult and ended up loving it. I cook with this stuff a lot. Shit, the RealLemon juice ends up in a lot of my cocktails. Sure, I like fancy ingredients when I can afford them and I have things I get picky about using - but I have bad hands, mincing garlic is painful as fuck. There’s a lot to be said for knowing how to work with what you have. Don’t shame people for trying, don’t shame people for feeding their families things that they enjoy.

if you are only a good cook if you have access to premium ingredients at whole foods or above prices then you arent really a good cook

Today's Seal Is: Sheepy Wool

'Irredeemable media' is such a funny concept to me because it's never used for stuff like Birth of a Nation or A Serbian Film. It's always The Owl House or My Hero Academia because these people only watch things for children and can't stand any conflict more complex than Super Mario Brothers.

When I'm in a missing the point competition and my oppenent is a tumblr user

Sea sponge (Grantia compressa) By: Hervé Chaumeton From: Éditions Rencontre Cards 1978

THICK lady

Having a boyfriend is literally free

I’m stuck in my room because i have a fresh arm tattoo that’s not exactly fun to drive with and my little sister and her friends are hanging out in the kitchen so instead of doomscrolling or agonizing over creative projects i’m sending him pictures of various car parts and asking him to name them

wheeel……

I think he likes it?

I want to see so much more of this please

Mor car parts please

More highlights

Crankshaft:

The recording is him chanting “pasta pastasta pastaa” to himself very very quietly

@astral-catastrophe

This panic happens like every few months.

It's dangerous to go alone! Take this.

I gave a victorian kid some sour patch kids and he sprinkled a little bit of cocaine on it as casually as you would salt before even taking a bite

he was biting the sour patch kids?

Yeah that's how you eat them

i stick them in my mouth whole. am i the weird one or is the victorian kid the weird one? about the biting, not the cocaine. i do that part too.

Do you. At least chew them

yeah i do chew them i just dont feel a need to take a bite out of something that's already bite-sized, yknow? it's like taking a bite out of a skittle, to me. could definitely just be me though

oy where do i get more of these nectar-sweet bastards what are colored like precious stones

fuck OFF thomas

He was biting them because he’s so much littler than you. Look at him. He can’t get a whole one in his mouth. You could lose him down a drain. When you put him up a chimney, even a small chimney, you probably have to give him directions like he’s on the Swindon magic roundabout. SECOND LEFT AT THE NEXT BRICK, Thomas. NO, OTHER BRICK. NO, THE OTHER LEFT.

You shouldn’t salt your sour patch kids btw it’s bad for you

Thank you for that important addendum. Putting cocaine on them is fine though, right?

Yeah yeah I’m not his mum

this is perhaps evil but I can boost my mood in almost any situation by playing a game called "what was my mom doing at this age?" like rn for instance I'm sleepy because I had a 12 hour work day + stayed up late, and my stomach hurts a little from the enormous chimichanga I smashed for dinner, and my head hurts a little bit from the fat margaritas I had with the chimichanga. and it's like hmm, okay, not optimal, but when my mom was this age she had a 2.5 year old to deal with. can you fucking imagine. can't stay in bed decadently bemoaning your overindulgences because there's a goblin in the next room that's utterly dependent on you for food and hygiene and social needs and if you drop the ball you've fucked up a perfectly good person. and I'm pretty normal so shout out to her for keeping it together but god that couldn't be me, I like fucking around way too much.