Sevastiel

My friend didn't believe that Grendel eats people Kirby-style and says UwU when he digests someone so I filled his screen with true things about Warframe that seem fake.

You have an evil twin who wants to kill you. You have a different evil twin who wants to replace you. You can play as your evil twin's pregnant wife. During one of the game's story quests you kill an autistic child. During another story quest you are jumpscared by a giant made of concrete. The first boss of the game is killed six different times. The only one of his deaths that is actually canon doesn't happen during the game, it happened in an animated trailer that aired at E3. There's a gun that shoots tentacle monsters. There's a sword that is also a shotgun. There are multiple transgender & nonbinary warframes. You can coat your bullets and swords with radioactive AIDS. You can also fill your flamethrower with radioactive AIDS. One of the warframes canonically had threesomes with a married couple. There are horses. There's an alternate dimension where you fight a child's mood swings. There's a gun that fires dubstep and crabs. There's a gun that fires miniature black holes. There's a gun that you reload by feeding it your blood. There's a gun that's operated with a car key. There's an entire category of guns you can throw at people. There's a book that is also a gun. One of the bosses has a chance to affectionately call you "Little Meat" A lady turned herself into a tree. One of the bosses in the game is your abusive father. You have an alien grandpa who lives at the bottom of the sea. You can own a pet vampire. There's a talking fish. Your babysitter is a reformed war criminal. The last update added an evil boyband. One of the studio's employees got their job by making porn of the game's characters. Hidden in the game's files are a number of fictional cooking recipes. The developers have canonized multiple community memes as in-game features. One of the new characters is possessed by an evil guitar. One of the most lore-important characters in the entire game has never appeared in-game even once and his only known depiction is in a webcomic. The aforementioned character wears a hat shaped like a hotdog. Critical chance can exceed 100%. And 200%. And 300%. One of Mars's moons measures time in Worms.

Anyone have something they'd like to add?

This is the best possible use for my lore knowledge.

- There is an evil hive mind that you Can and Have domesticated part of

- There’s an entire city of people with their heads in their stomach

- Humans on earth eat primarily the flesh of a very nice tower whos totally fine with it

- Sometimes the warframes are still people, and a few of them like it a bit too much when you control them

- Gordon Freeman is in Warframe

- Your birth parents canonically wanted to eat you.

- The two queens of one of the factions also want to eat you.

- The hivemind (non domesticated portion) also wants to eat you but isn’t super sure about it because if it does it might go double crazy (the other groups didn’t get the memo or were already double crazy)

- Friendship and love can, will, and have saved the universe.

- The big bad is literally a guy in a literal wall (sometimes)

- One of the two people whos responsible for almost everything bad that happens died to being kissed too hard

- you kill basically gods with a bow (also a part of a basically god) as just like, a regular guy

- In lore, *everything* can be canon. Infinite monkeys are real. The typewriters, too.

- The devs had a crotch censored body pillow of one of their partial warframes sitting with them during a dev stream

- While youre doing things to keep a time bubble from imploding and killing everyone, the stickers you put on your shit are very important

- That child with the temper tantrums who you have to calm down is actually basically you from like a bajillion (a thousand+) years ago.

- Angels are real and they hate you

- As the alternate dimensional version of yoyrself, you can only crouch inside your pocket dimension. Nowhere else.

- The super mechanically brilliant guy who can make working mechanical people in the 100s of feet tall range really likes 1990s tech, doesnt eat his fucking pizza crusts, and is a fan of boybands.

- He also abandoned his twink in the Backrooms, and the guys pretty mad about it.

- There is an assassin who hates you and tries to kill you frequently. You will be coworkers. He will save your life multiple times. He will come to you for help saving his wife. He will try and kill you again after. He will also still show up near your place to stare at you ominously from a distance. He is also a single father. He still tries to kill you. But also if youre playing a replica of his now dead pregnant wife he will leave immediately and drop all his loot.

- your adoptive ma is a plural robot.

- your grandfather (on your adoptive ma’s side), who is a moon sized sentient machine, capable of destroying worlds, is pretty lonely actually and does try and convince the assassin to leave you alone eventually. (After trying to kill you repeatedly also)

- You’re usually one person but sometimes also two very different people. Not in a personality disorder way, just in a ‘you’re a walking paradox now :)’ way

- The assassin who hates you and has and does try and kill you will happily let you pilot his body around in your pocket dimension. (The one where you bitch-slap a child’s friends around until they calm down)

- Nuclear explosions are great for time travel

- You escape a timeloop just to go into a different timeloop by choice this time.

- For a brief while, you could drive a motorcycle in space perfectly functionally. This would also allow you to eat a spaceship kirby style with the aforementioned grendel

- You can play as a skeleton

- despite having weapons that can blow up a transport carrier spaceship in a single hit, you do still need to steal multiple 1990s era rpgs to get through one (1) barricade

- color and light have no bearing on stealth. You can be a neon pink lightbulb of a tank with fairy wings and be as effectively stealthy as a pitch black actual ninja

Since I'm therapist-posting recently:

Legitimately self-compassion is the biggest mental health life hack of all time. I'm NOT talking about self-esteem. You do NOT have to like yourself one bit. You don't have to believe that you're a good person who deserves good things. You just have to believe that you're a person who deserves the things all people deserve.

You can't get from "I'm the Worst" to "I'm a worthy and lovable person" without passing through "I'm just a regular fuckup like everybody else."

Try it on. If you're really addicted to being mean to yourself, you can start by framing it as I'm Not Special. Embrace being a regular fuckup like everybody else.

Snufkin doing whatever the fuck he does during the winter

Actual bird behavior

Awww beans.

Scaldra dude +warframe design +turnaround for one of the two of em +accomplice to warframe due in 4 hours, not two days.

I have done,,..

Lineart :(

Hehe hooooo im fucked

Just Jayce dragging his cat partner to a gala

Audibly wheezed stop I can’t

>there was a joke to be made about indifference learning difference do not reupload

I finally got this line and the screenshots I've seen simply do not do justice to Arthur's deadpan delivery xd

So, for those who didn't make it to Tennocon... I unveiled my new Tattoos... Ticker is now forever a part of me. It was such a wonderful experience meeting all her fans... it was humbling to see the impact she has.

i knew this was going to fucking happen and i am so unbelievably pissed at this fuck this fuck all of you fuck no

Friend: Dude wtf why did you put glitter in my coffee I was going to drink that?

Me: aesthetic

fuck no fuck no fuck no please no i dont want to see a photo of coffee with glitter in it fuck no

i learned about a stupid looking bird today and i cant stop laughing

its called a crested satinbird (cnemophilus macgregorii)

heres another picture of it yelling

fuuuuuck (my friend @ne0nwithazero allowed me to post this)