One time my mom and I were out shopping and she shows me this ugly fucking shawl or something off a sales rack and all I could think to say was “oh… oh honey, no” and she laughed told me I talk like an old retired drag queen and that might be pretty par for a queer guy but you must know at the time I was a catty 13 year old girl
Is he "female socialized" or is he just a standard flamboyant sensitive artsy gay dude who would honestly be indiscernible from any other fem gay guy if you didn't see him as a walking vagina first and foremost.
Is she "male socialized" or is she just a tomboy with a fucking spine who doesn't let anyone talk to her any old kind of way who would honestly be indiscernible from any feminist cis woman y'all gas up on here if you didn't see her as a walking penis first and foremost.
is she "male socialized" or is she just like. disagreeing with someone
looking at any kind of trans supplies focused online shop is depressing because there will either be a complete absence of anything for transfems or like. a really sad transfem section with 5 items at the end of a list full of binders and packers and harnesses
on a queer sex positive online store. depressing
"nonbinary bodies" HMMMMMMM
My transfeminine body can be as nonbinary as any transmasc I'll fight any motherfucker who says different
thebreastformstore.com For breastforms + care, shapewear, wigs, shoes and jewlery
enfemmestyle.com For clothing, breastforms + care, shapewear, tucking and wigs
translife.uk For clothing, cosmetics, breastforms and tucking.
I get the frustration, but ultimately if you want stores that do sell things specifically for trans feminine people, searching for them and sharing them is the way to go.
If you are looking for lingerie style bras for a flat chest, those are marketed towards cis woman, who had cancer related breast reduction surgery.
And I get that it is frustrating that a lot of these thing are also marketed towards crossdressers, but the reason for this is the same as to why a lot of binders are marketed as "sports bras": sellers put every (vaguely) related term into their website in the hopes of selling to more people. Which obviously isn't great either, but at least I can better tolerate it, knowing it is marketing bullshit and not misgendering me for the sake of it.
Been a long time since I did the legwork of finding places but here's all my bookmarked lingerie brands that make lingerie for transfems and have transfem models.
Carmen Liu Lingerie - trans woman owned lingerie company that makes bras and panties specifically for transfems, also has plain cotton kids' underwear.
Juniper & Eve - cis woman owned from what I can tell but her starting point with the company was "make lingerie for a trans woman friend" and underwear types are sorted by style (flat front, gaff, or pouch front) rather than by gender.
Origami Customs - I kind of think of OC as more transmasc-focused but since I last checked their site they've added the option to select gusset width on non-gaff undies which I'm pleasantly surprised by. They also do custom sizing at no extra cost.
TomboyX also does breastform bras and tucking panties now but idk anyone who wears them so I can't comment on that specirfically. Just buying their underwear over the years I feel that the quality has dropped off while the prices have doubled. I get stuff on sale only. YMMV.
The only super specifically transfem
I wanted to add on my small local store, the Tool Shed. They carry breast forms, compatible bras, gaff underwear, shapewear, some accessories like adhesive tape and wash, and dilators and lube. They also have a TONNN of books for sale (I checked and the "books and media" section for trans and intersex topics has 279 items)!
The above link is for their trans focused site, but they also have a larger collection here that includes all their trans products along with regular sex toys (and even MORE books.)
while these are strong resources, the majority of these links have yet to offer transfem specific sex toys which is what the original post is about. i know transmasc specific sex toys exist mostly to accommodate tdicks (i checked the site and the majority of what is listed for transmascs are strokers, pumps, and packers). i am having trouble finding transfem specific sex toys listed myself. however i found the following resources:
allure's 23 amazing sex toys for transfems: offers toy options to alleviate bottom dysphoria, help maintain erections, and for those who are post op (dilators, lube, clit toys). also recommends some books.
the trans woman's guide to sex toys: written by a trans woman, specifically offers guidance and recommendations for transfems who are post op.
cute little fuckers: makes no mention of transmasc vs transfem specific toys but is designed by and for trans people. the toys come in unique shapes and sizes so they can be used creatively by anyone with any genitalia, definitely had trans genitalia in mind of course.
susan's place transgender resources: this is just a forum where somebody is asking for recommendations for their trans girlfriend with bottom dysphoria. lots of good recommendations from other transfems here, but also this post is from 2014 so some information may be outdated
cashmere mag: more sex toy recommendations for transfems.
sex toys for micropenises and "neo"vaginas: sex toys designed for those with small/"micro" penises (trans men on t with enlarged clits, trans women on e with smaller penises), and for trans women with vaginoplasty (toys that accommodate lack of natural lubricants and the need to dilate, essentially).
after a lot of digging it looks like there aren't a lot of sex toys out there designed specifically for transfems in mind :(( which really sucks because theres a lot of potential there. please add on if you find any!
Being a weird little girl as a kid provides two options to you: becoming transgender or becoming a weird adult woman. Both of which are things the world needs more of
I really wish this article existed when I was in my 20s. It might have saved me from the 13 year slow crawl from coming out to starting HRT that plunged me into a deep depression, destroying my mental health and most of my finances. I wish I had the awareness and confidence then to stand up for myself and transition so much sooner.
funniest shit is going down on discord rn
we recently made a discord server for people who do drama at my school and a cis guy irl has randomly decided to one-sided beef with me. so i'm having a conversation when he rolls up & randomly pings me saying he wants more pronouns than me. and i'm like Well. This isn't hurting anyone. Maybe he'll do some introspection
so he tells me in addition to he/him, he'd also like they/them, it/its, and the "other" role. since i don't have they/them, he would therefore have more pronouns than me. so i congratulate him, but then i point out what that "other" means.
i have an en.pronouns linked on my discord with my neopronouns written down. i show him this. i explain what neopronouns are.
he then proceeds to copy&paste a list of 40 sets of neopronouns. just to "have more than me". at no point did i care about this hallucinated conflict so i tell him he wins
update: he's asking me to give him an "alpha/alphaed" pronoun set rn. i've told him that he needs to give me the full 5-word conjugated set before i do. this is the ultimate test for a 14 year old boy
this is what he came up with
u don’t think I’ve spent 23 years dying to live just to roll over now do you
"Breathe looks like a thin, cropped tank top with mesh panels to keep the user cool. While it's normally tight fighting, Breathe contains a smart alloy material called Nitone that, when electrified, loosens the garment. It's battery operated and can be adjusted with a remote controller, so the user can discreetly change how tight the binding is -- there's no need to change their clothing or go into a private space in order to take a break. There's also an optional feature that will automatically loosen the device when the user is playing a sport."
Like this is amazing and I don't want to derail from the hard work he has done to make this binder
But the stunts you could pull!!!
My first thought was someone walking into class\work first thing in the morning, but by the end of the day, they have tits fatter than their head.
Or the reverse! Start off with giant mammies and you just hear a high pitched squeak as they seem to slowly deflate in front of your eyes, "thanks jerk! You stared so hard you popped them. Now I am going to have to buy a tire repair kit on the way home."
I came out to my dad as bisexual at 14 and I was PANICKED because I had a crush on a guy in my Boy Scout troop and thought I was Going To Hell Forever and he was so kind and understanding of my distress, but he had NO idea what bisexuality was. He just said “yeah but you like girls too? This is normal. Everyone is like this.” And I love my dad and trust him with my life to this day and the idea that the concept of bisexuality had not occurred to him had not occurred to me so I put it off.
By 16 though I had a crush on like THREE boys. Three entire boys in my Boy Scout troop. I felt like my sin was slowly advancing, until like an untreated cancer it had become metastatic. I remember bawling my L’il limp-wristed sissy eyes out in his big rumbly truck on the way home from a scout meeting and him telling me that it was OK, that he still loved me if I was gay, but that he knew I wasn’t gay because I still had crushes on women and that meant I was straight. I didn’t quite know how to explain that those felt *~*different*~* and that I felt like I was losing a fight to evil inside me but I again felt comforted by his reassurances and his genuine fatherly love.
At 18 I was like “hey I’m realizing all my friends are going on missions. I don’t wanna do that. Idk how to say that and I don’t have a ‘good enough’ reason to not wanna go.” So I just put it off. Again, my parents were extremely supportive of the information I gave them (I blamed it on perpetually forgetting to start the paperwork.) and one day my mom texted me that she had done the paperwork for me! And that all I needed was to get a physical! So I did that (it was awkward af tbh, my hernia check was done by a trainee doctor and she spent like 3 minutes fishing around my inguinal canals before her attending rescued me) and was sent to Mexico City where I learned that in addition to dipshit himbos with strong hands and scruffy guys with artistic hearts I was REALLY into chubby Latin men with strong personalities who bullied me a little when I lived in Mexico.
I remember my first companion got annoyed with me during an argument and said we were just gonna wrestle and whoever won the wrestling match won the argument (I stg I am dead serious this happened.) I was like…SWEATING when he tore off his tie and threw his white button-down shirt onto the ground (I won btw, don’t ask me how).
I remember one of my companions with this really intense, almost manic energy telling me that he was gonna make sure I was safe in a new area I didn’t know very well. He cooked breakfast for me and we’d go shopping together on P-Days and in the mornings before breakfast he’d jog around and do pull-ups with his shirt off and I’d do anything but look at him because my face would break out in a sweat so intense he’d think I was crying and come over to see if I was OK and somehow make it worse. He let me play D&D with myself in the evenings even though it was against mission rules because he knew how lonely and stressed I was.
I remember one of my companions was a big chubby man with a loud voice and a great sense of humor. He was kind and direct when addressing conflicts with me, and always bragged about how he knew the secrets of women’s minds and it felt like he really did since it almost always boiled down to “Treat Them Like People and Love Them a Lot. Don’t Stop Being A Person For Them. Also Eat Them Out Sloppy Style.” Our P-Day activities sometimes felt like dates, and it seemed like he was more attentive to my emotional state than I was since he was always the first to suggest we slow down our Divinely Mandated, God-Ordained, Super Sacred Work and Wonder to get a snack or check out a Pawn Shop (I love Pawn Shops).
I remember another companion who asked me to bully him every time he did something against his goal of losing weight. It was like he gave me Carte Blanche to take out my crush on him by being a nuisance and I LOVED that. I remember having a breakdown one day after we’d spent the afternoon frantically cleaning our disgusting-barely-habitable mission house to make it look less vile that it was (not our fault imo?) and I started bawling and he pulled me into a hug and he smelled good and he told me he knew it wasn’t just the house and that I was mad at him for being a Huge Dickhead for about a week (true) and that he would work on it. (He’s also a huge chaser but that’s a separate thing.)
I remember one of my companions waking up early (and our schedule is already built for sleep deprivation) to make me a “birthday cake” from knock-off Nutella and bread. He used matches for candles and woke me up, lit the ‘candles,’ pulled them out, then smashed it in my face and took a bunch of pictures while I was still madrugada and disoriented as fuck. He had the same sense of humor as one of my HS crushes and I could push his buttons pretty easily which was so fun.
I came home from my mission and started back at BYU where I became actively and aggressively suicidal. I had a stalker the year I moved up there and my dad’s solution to that was to get me a gun. I know he wouldn’t have bought me a gun if he could have read my mind, but I had a loaded pistol under my bed during a trifecta faith/sexuality/gender crisis and that was not helpful. I remember that the day I decided to kill myself I figured I’d call the BYU CAPS and see if I could get into therapy because it felt like what I was “supposed to do” so I could check my suicide boxes. My therapist was the guy who’d helped me pick a major the year before and was this drop-dead gorgeous Hawaiian man who cried when I told him how I’d been feeling.
A few weeks into therapy I met another stunning man with soft eyes and a scruffy illegal-at-BYU beard he kept pushing his luck with. He was funny, kind, patient, married, and wouldn’t give me the time of day if he knew I was crushing on him. We were in my history of psych class, which was inarguably the worst psych class I have ever had, and we studied together for every assignment and test and I realized that my feelings for him and for all the men I’d already mentioned were in direct conflict with my faith and relationship with God. My already agonizing spiritual conflict became even more wretched and as a result of this plus some other tightly-packed experiences with Mormonisms bullshit, I left the church.
After leaving the church I decided to move back to AZ and transfer to ASU. My mom helped me get a dog since I think it had started to dawn on my family that my mental health was barely getting me through the day, and she knew that we both loved dogs. Madi made my last year at BYU livable while I got my shit together and transferred. In that last year, I went on a date with quite possibly the only semi-openly-out trans person on BYU campus. It was not a great date imo, I was not doing well, but the person I spoke with was fun and fascinating and talked to me about Gender Dysphoria and it really cemented my need to go. To leave and never come back to that fucking school.
I started at ASU a month after my last semester at BYU and within a very short time frame it felt like I was coming back together, like a puzzle magically putting itself together in an environment that wasn’t slowly draining that puzzle’s will to live.
On the 4th of July, the year I started at ASU, I saw a transition timeline photo of a gorgeous happy beautiful happy radiant happy woman and her former Mormon missionary self and I realized the light that was on in her eyes was the light that was off in mine. I looked into transitioning for 3 days, sleeping about 10 hours total during that time. I started talking to other trans people on Reddit (one of whom is now my beautiful fiancée @cintailed) and after about a month of making preparations to be disowned and kicked out, something I was not sure would happen but was ready to go through to Turn On The Lights, I came out to my family and it was amazing. I started HRT a month after that. I secretly dated some dorky guys for about a year while I applied to grad schools. I got into a great grad school for me and my needs. I got FFS. I did my trainings and classes. Me and my fiancée moved in together after some LDR shenanigans. We’ve lived together now for 4 years of basically marital bliss. We have a cat named Grandmother Esmeralda Weatherwax who bites the hell out of my feet about three times a day. My bi-cycle continues to be part of my life but now it’s not as scary. Baby gays in my life have started to look to me for advice. Idk how this all happened so fast. When the years, months, weeks, days, and hours seems to crawl by so slowly now they are rushing past me so fast it’s almost bewildering. Whereas before I felt like I was living on borrowed time, past my ‘expiration date,’ now it feels like I can Fucking Breathe. I’m training myself to slow down now and it feels worth it to Live In The Moment.
Idk why I wrote this. Idk why these thoughts only seem to come up on Sundays when I’m supposed to be writing my dissertation. Idk why I’m crying rn or why I feel so happy. I’m gonna post this shit then get on with my dissertation I guess. Read more Terry Pratchett and give yourselves the time you need. Get a pet. Talk to someone. Re-examine the events that brought you here. Be gayer. Love y’all 💕
I think I'm going to cry. Even if you don't know why you wrote this, please know that it helped.
Serious government guy: So let me get this straight. Your name is Jack Fender, you're a federal agent investigating an international monkey smuggling operation, and you don't have your badge because you were undercover as an Armenian gang member's mail order girlfriend
Straight-laced agent handcuffed to the desk, topless and covered in glitter: Listen, sir, you gotta believe me- just call my partner, he'll tell you everything
Government guy: (Eyes agent's glittery D cup titties)
Handcuffed agent: Come on man, seriously
Government guy: ...Fine. what's his number
Handcuffed agent: It's on my phone
Government guy: (calls partner, puts phone on speaker)
Phone: (rings)
Phone: (immediately picks up to the tinny sound of a guy, completely breathless, running at top speed, followed closely by screaming chimp noises) Jack. Oh thank God it's you. Listen, I lost the briefcase, and the monkeys got my packer
"Why do you want to be a boy when you're such a pretty girl?" Why do you want to play another game when you already beat the last one? You fucking casual
"Why do they keep coming up with new genders?" Better graphics
Please no spoilers for the neopronouns guys I'm still not done with the original releases
Some of us beat all the major titles and our parents are still on a previous lets-play
