il faut cultiver notre jardin

and then one day you wake up at 4:00 am for an 8 mile death march in the Texas summer heat for some fuckass warbler that’s dirt common 60 miles south of the border

Something I found hilarious the other day was seeing one of those “I bought this before Elon Musk went insane” bumper stickers, except it wasn’t on a Tesla. It was on the most beat up 20+ year old Toyota Corolla I’ve ever seen that was missing three hubcaps and had no less than seven different dents in the rear bumper. yeah I do not doubt that you bought that one before musk went insane

ive gotten so much mileage out of this tweet. every time i see something on the internet that makes me mad i just think to myself "people in real life: hey man how's it going" and i keep it pushing

@bonos-grindcore-sideproject This is so good

i want to shake many young women and say you can grow in private. and what i mean by that is that you don’t have to publicly self-flagellate when you don’t know something or when you say something a little insensitive or whatever else. you don’t have to report your Bad Thoughts and Ignorance to the crowd who waits to judge you. you do not have to pay penance. you do not have to issue public statements. nothing more is gained from burying yourself in shame than you could gain by thinking “oh i don’t know about this” and looking it up real quick, or thinking “hm, that wasn’t how i want to behave, i’ll do different next time” and then moving on with your life. no need to choke yourself with it.

publishers will talk about representation and "#OwnVoices" and push books about gay theatre kid humor teifling pirates having queer gay sex written by a woman from Massachusetts with a gummy smile who calls herself a "Disaster Bisexual" on twitter and women will read the books and write rave reviews on goodreads about how it was so refreshing to see good queer representation and how much they squee'd and fangirled so hard when gay pirate 1 called gay pirate 2 "his silly stinky little guy" that they woke up their husband. and people will say that if you read these books youre a morally good person and the Trumpers Will Not Win and then other women will comment about how the books about gay pirate buttsex between two "feral unhinged germlin mode queers" are the only things keeping them from killing themselves and making their family watch. and then you will go to half price books and see the gay pirate book front and center on a display for 8 months and there will always be two women standing around it talking very loudly about BTS and House of the Dragon and then after the trend dies down 18 copies of the book will take up half a shelf in the sci-fi/fantasy section and they will never move and it will just be like that for years and its all because another #OwnVoices cozy historical romantasy came out but this time its about fantasyworld Tibetan Monks having gay sex on Not Mount Everest and the whole cycle repeats again but this time with publications and goodreads articles talking about "timely" conversations about race and queer identity. but this time it will be shortly lived because it will come out that Jenny Luizou the author of the monk gay sex book is actually another Massachusetts woman with a too gummy smile and is actually not a nonbinary bipoc Chinese person from Kazakhstan but everyone should have known this anyway because she calls herself a "disaster bisexual" on twitter sometimes. the pirate gay sex book is still taking up half a shelf during all this

my "suicidal hermit" lifestyle has been largely detrimental to my emotional wellbeing

everywhere I go people are asking me for my email. my email is in high demand. it's rare for me to visit a website without someone getting on their hands and knees, begging me for my email

you need to be tolerancemaxxing. you need to be smoking addy and popping weed. you need to be drinking coffee before you go to bed. no substance in the universe should be able to affect you. you need to be taking two breaths for the price of one just to oxygenate your blood because it's so tolerant to the stuff. you need to be impervious to chemicals. you need to be completely inert