Happy birthday to everyone whose birthday is today!

It is decidedly not my birthday, but Have a Merry Birthmas to anyone who's date of Emergence is.

But thats so unappealing, I…I don’t want to be a banana. I’m going to take the drugs to become a grape… Nothing weird happens with them, and I can avoid needles and surgery stuff….

Get raisin’d

I-…How dare you? This is my only response, quoting a news article from Grape.com! I am NO Raisin! I just dont want to be a banana!

Wine about it

What is wrong with me? This is all I can respond with? I-... Waaah!

But thats so unappealing, I…I don’t want to be a banana. I’m going to take the drugs to become a grape… Nothing weird happens with them, and I can avoid needles and surgery stuff….

Get raisin’d

I-...How dare you? This is my only response, quoting a news article from Grape.com! I am NO Raisin! I just dont want to be a banana!

But thats so unappealing, I...I don't want to be a banana. I'm going to take the drugs to become a grape... Nothing weird happens with them, and I can avoid needles and surgery stuff....

Good and Bad Angel News: I had height numbers wrong. And- I had Heights slightly off of what they're supposed to be upon further review. Heres an update, what thoughts? Now includes more variants!

Ophanim/thrones and Cherubs disincluded due to their wildly varying sizes even amongst themselves.

I based it on this:

Yes. Good.

Also theoretically they can adjust their size so they can fit inside of buildings, while still being taller than all but the tallest humans

Also I have a friend I need to show this to.

This size chart is "True Form"'s, like when not using something to shrink themselves... Though Im curious, do you think that any are off at all? Even ifonly slightly. Like, I was unsure about seraphims being that small for their stature, but it both makes sense and doesn't?

Also it is still funny to me that when I showed both the angel and dino size chart someone immediately said "Poor T-Rex" and I couldnt help but imagine an angel and Tyrannosaurus staring at eachother...

Consider this: the more high ranking an angel is, the more human they appear on average. Therefore, counterintuitively, the biggest ones would probably be the lower ranking or middle rank ones. Maybe. Honestly I don't know, but either way I prefer this.

I was under the impression the more wings an angel had, the more powerful they were? And that The inner-heaven angels(generally the most powerful ones) were the least human, with god taking a familiar shape to make us easier to comprehend them, and angels also doing so. I have admittedly not looked into the bible directly, but was basing this on fantasy. STILL- I think its interesting.

I just wish I wasn't dumb when thinking about these things.

Humans were made in god's image, which implies god looks like a human

Ive heard that, but personally and from other perspectives Ive heard, God takes that form to not scare us and due to their power can flat-out pull it off even better than the angels can... being indistinguishable. But your claim is FAR more substantiated, so I cannot argue further. Thank you btw for a good arguement, I wish I could've given you a better arguement.

Good and Bad Angel News: I had height numbers wrong. And- I had Heights slightly off of what they're supposed to be upon further review. Heres an update, what thoughts? Now includes more variants!

Ophanim/thrones and Cherubs disincluded due to their wildly varying sizes even amongst themselves.

I based it on this:

Yes. Good.

Also theoretically they can adjust their size so they can fit inside of buildings, while still being taller than all but the tallest humans

Also I have a friend I need to show this to.

This size chart is "True Form"'s, like when not using something to shrink themselves... Though Im curious, do you think that any are off at all? Even ifonly slightly. Like, I was unsure about seraphims being that small for their stature, but it both makes sense and doesn't?

Also it is still funny to me that when I showed both the angel and dino size chart someone immediately said "Poor T-Rex" and I couldnt help but imagine an angel and Tyrannosaurus staring at eachother...

Consider this: the more high ranking an angel is, the more human they appear on average. Therefore, counterintuitively, the biggest ones would probably be the lower ranking or middle rank ones. Maybe. Honestly I don't know, but either way I prefer this.

I was under the impression the more wings an angel had, the more powerful they were? And that The inner-heaven angels(generally the most powerful ones) were the least human, with god taking a familiar shape to make us easier to comprehend them, and angels also doing so. I have admittedly not looked into the bible directly, but was basing this on fantasy. STILL- I think its interesting.

I just wish I wasn't dumb when thinking about these things.

Good and Bad Angel News: I had height numbers wrong. And- I had Heights slightly off of what they're supposed to be upon further review. Heres an update, what thoughts? Now includes more variants!

Ophanim/thrones and Cherubs disincluded due to their wildly varying sizes even amongst themselves.

I based it on this:

Yes. Good.

Also theoretically they can adjust their size so they can fit inside of buildings, while still being taller than all but the tallest humans

Also I have a friend I need to show this to.

This size chart is "True Form"'s, like when not using something to shrink themselves... Though Im curious, do you think that any are off at all? Even ifonly slightly. Like, I was unsure about seraphims being that small for their stature, but it both makes sense and doesn't?

Also it is still funny to me that when I showed both the angel and dino size chart someone immediately said "Poor T-Rex" and I couldnt help but imagine an angel and Tyrannosaurus staring at eachother...

I think biblically, the seraphim are human sized. This is solely based on how they are described in the beginning of I think Isaiah, with the burning coal to the lips thing.

Revelations might have more information, I forget. Is it Revelations that has the descriptions of most of the angels?

That feels wrong, Seraphim are meant to be like "If one shows up, it ends the world" no? Or was I lied to?

Good and Bad Angel News: I had height numbers wrong. And- I had Heights slightly off of what they're supposed to be upon further review. Heres an update, what thoughts? Now includes more variants!

Ophanim/thrones and Cherubs disincluded due to their wildly varying sizes even amongst themselves.

I based it on this:

Yes. Good.

Also theoretically they can adjust their size so they can fit inside of buildings, while still being taller than all but the tallest humans

Also I have a friend I need to show this to.

This size chart is "True Form"'s, like when not using something to shrink themselves... Though Im curious, do you think that any are off at all? Even ifonly slightly. Like, I was unsure about seraphims being that small for their stature, but it both makes sense and doesn't?

Also it is still funny to me that when I showed both the angel and dino size chart someone immediately said "Poor T-Rex" and I couldnt help but imagine an angel and Tyrannosaurus staring at eachother...

The reason for that being minimum(Exceptioning Cherubs) is that Angels are 1: Immortal, 2: highly magical 3: highly powerful, 4: Anything less feels like its strangely not as accurate? Not sure why but something internally just says "No, Ive seen angels, they're not that small". I have no idea wtf thats about though, probably projection from something.

Angels probably wouldn't wear clothes

To explain, in Genesis, human beings start out not wearing clothes. God is caught off guard when Adam and Eve start covering themselves. This implies that, in a pure state, clothes aren't necessary. Therefore, why would angels have clothes?

Also, can you imagine designing clothes for a biblically accurate cherubim? Even a seraphim would be tricky, since you need to account for six wings.

In conclusion, angels are nudists

Actually, the humanoid Angels are ALSO biblically accurate, just low ranked ones. God likely drapes them in clothing because he respects human modern senses to try and communicate. I am NOT Christian, but there is definitively some clothing on some depiction of angels. However, Angels are essentially robots who can learn to be people. Why would they care about nudity on their own right? In heaven its likely that they don't have many clothes outside of literal armor as a result of them being tools and pure of mind and heart.

HOWEVER! There is something to be said that angels can LEARN to be people... Ever wonder why Angels are rarely sent on long-term assignments with humans? Can you imagine how much of a nightmare it would be to find out your angel is into people now and cannot be trusted with naked people anymore? Can you imagine an Angel who has been accidentally taught how to be a person ending up realizing WHY its awkward they're always naked in their home dimension? Its always brief contact and with a sense of superiority bending a knee to aid the smaller folk... Thats to protect their innocence...

So in other words, time to kidnap an angel and make it a gamer and teach it basic manners so we can gaslight heaven into thinking they need to get dressed and so we can get Tetris 2!

In (more obscure) Christain canon, there are actually angels who ended up being into humans.

Some of them apparently had kids.

Actually, wasn't the Nephilim something like that? I did NOT have a good source for this, but I swear I heard someone say that the Nephilim were "The Watchers" meant to watch over humanity but they fell to rulership temptation and tried to takeover... and some even settled down and had kids with the mortals?

Genuinely curious if theres ANYTHING to back up this insane claim I once heard.

Angels probably wouldn't wear clothes

To explain, in Genesis, human beings start out not wearing clothes. God is caught off guard when Adam and Eve start covering themselves. This implies that, in a pure state, clothes aren't necessary. Therefore, why would angels have clothes?

Also, can you imagine designing clothes for a biblically accurate cherubim? Even a seraphim would be tricky, since you need to account for six wings.

In conclusion, angels are nudists

Actually, the humanoid Angels are ALSO biblically accurate, just low ranked ones. God likely drapes them in clothing because he respects human modern senses to try and communicate. I am NOT Christian, but there is definitively some clothing on some depiction of angels. However, Angels are essentially robots who can learn to be people. Why would they care about nudity on their own right? In heaven its likely that they don't have many clothes outside of literal armor as a result of them being tools and pure of mind and heart.

HOWEVER! There is something to be said that angels can LEARN to be people... Ever wonder why Angels are rarely sent on long-term assignments with humans? Can you imagine how much of a nightmare it would be to find out your angel is into people now and cannot be trusted with naked people anymore? Can you imagine an Angel who has been accidentally taught how to be a person ending up realizing WHY its awkward they're always naked in their home dimension? Its always brief contact and with a sense of superiority bending a knee to aid the smaller folk... Thats to protect their innocence...

So in other words, time to kidnap an angel and make it a gamer and teach it basic manners so we can gaslight heaven into thinking they need to get dressed and so we can get Tetris 2!